to find living in a 2nd floor flat (no lift) with 4 DC TOO BLOODY HARD!

[FlatDweller]

Especially in the school holidays with this lovely weather what with not having a garden?

Nowhere to dry all the washing for 6 people, carrying bags and bags of shopping upstairs (and the toddler), having the gas run out (PAYG) and having to run downstairs and outside of the building to put more on, rubbish bags splitting half way down the stairs, losing the will to go out as you know you have to go up and down the stairs!

This is not by choice, we lost our own house and could not afford to private rent so the council put us here. We are looking at years until we will be able to move. DH works very long hours before I am called a benefit scrounger!

AIBU to find life very hard and to be thoroughly depressed?

And yes, I have suffered loss and have a SN child as well before I am told that I should think myself lucky just to be breathing .

YANBU to find it hard but there are ways round a lot of things you mentioned. Get shopping ordered online then hopefully they will bring it up the stairs for you, double bag the bin bags so they don't split etc. I do have sympathy with you, I lived in a liftless block 3 floors up before I met DH and had DC and it was a PITA trailing up the stairs all the time. It will get easier, the toddler will be able to walk up by themselves soon and can the older DCs not help to carry things up and down?

Oh did you have a thread about this at the time? It's ringing bells lol

Oh yanbu btw... Very difficult

Yanbu. I couldnt do it. Id move.

I have been in a very similar situation to you: initially it pissed me off, then I realised that as there was nothing I could do about it I just had to make the best of the situation. In unreality its not that bad at all.

Can you change your gas to direct debit? Much cheaper that way too. Online shopping is a lifesaver. Can you leave the pram downstairs? Other things you realise really aren't that important! (buy some stronger rubbish bags - they shouldn't be splitting!)

YANBU, we left our flat when our third DC started toddling. I put on the weight not going up and down the stairs all the time though!

If you want to look on the bright side, my mum had 8 of us in a three storey tenement and we all survived!

See if you can get utillia in your area if gas runs out you can top up online by phone and pay point but no running to put card in the meter we have a box in front room that you tap a code into and it's topped up and yes I feel your pain we lived in a flat 2nd floor and had to bump double parm up and down with my twins as wasn't allowed to keep pram downstairs

order your shopping online - we are 2nd floor with on-street parking but never a space anywhere near so I always get my shopping delivered. It's worth it! If you're short of money it's easier to keep track of what you're spending as you put things into your online basket and you can watch the special offers online and ensure you've saved enough to cover the delivery.

Online shopping. Look for free delivery codes (usually you can get a code that covers the cost if you're spending over £50 in one go, so go for bulk, non-perishable things like tins that are the heaviest to get upstairs but won't go to waste) or book the cheapest slots you can to keep the costs down.

Make sure they'll deliver to your door though - apparently Tesco have been claiming that "deliver to your door, your kitchen door" actually can mean the security entrance to your block which is a fat lot of good if the reason you're ordering online is to get it up the stairs . I'd phone them to confirm before placing the order.

YANBU, I have been there too and it's hard. I got rehoused because of DS's autism and the need for him to have safe access to an outside space in an enclosed garden.

Definitely online shopping is a good move, let them carry it up the stairs for you.
Look out the free places near you, parks etc

I know what you mean, I felt grateful to have the roof over my head but it was still hard.

YANBU. It sounds like incredibly hard work when you have small kids.

Just have 7 more and you will get given a 180 sq meter eco house!

Lots of us don't have gardens,we just get on with it. Have you got a balcony for drying washing?

Hmm you are fortunate to have found somewhere to live tbh. Double bag your rubbish, get tesco home delivery, and get DH to help?

It is hard. Is there anywhere else u could rent even on ground floor or swap on homeswapper?

A condensing tumble drier iS a timesaver too

Id does sound hard but it will get easier when the children get bigger. Once the oldest is 9 or 10 they can help take the rubbish out (invest in stronger bags of have a smaller bin and they can empty it more often) and when the toddler is bigger they can walk unaided so it will all be much simpler.

Its hard at the mo, but we still live in a flat and my 11 year old will carry the shopping up or nip down to the local park on his own.

I do use Tesco delivery, that helps

YABU it's only the 2nd floor not the top of a mountain. I assume all the children apart from maybe the toddler can walk up the stairs? We live on the 5th floor with no lift, I try to see the positives, it is excersise that you just can't avoid, when I was giving birth to DS the midwife said I have the strongest bum muscles she had ever felt (they were unfortunatly so strong they were preventing ds's head coming down.) The higher up you are the more light and nicer view you have. The more people you have living below you the more sencond hand heat you will get.

With that many kids you have loads of people to help carry the shopping.

Yanbu.
I'm sure your also grateful for lots of things but it doesn't make getting everything and everyone up and down safely. I know what you mean about not wanting to go out and face the stairs!

Honeytea. Five flights while pregnant. Ffs!

I really don't and didn't mind the stairs, when you do it everyday your body gets used to it, people pay money for gym membership I get a free mini workout everyday ;) I was worried about what I would do if I needed a c-Section but I didn't need one so I didn't need to worry about it.

That's what made me think ffs. If that had been my circs I would have been housebound for about a year ( lots of complications in pregnancy, bodged section and six months of barely being able to walk.) One flight WAS the alps to me. Five just doesn't even bear thinking about

A friend of mine signed a tenancy on a third floor tenement and had her knee smashed to pieces the next day ( cyclist meets car)

YANBU, BUT in these times it's a real boon to have a secure tenancy! I speak as somone who is a flat dweller - no lift. We had three DCs in here but now only two.

I think it's time to look at the bright side, OP, and get these kids to start pulling their weight, literally.

And yy to condenser dryer - go to Kays/K&Co. to get one on credit.

YANBU, I had three DCs under 5 when I moved into a house from second floor rentals. Laundry was in the basement in the apartments and I lost the will to do it frequently. Twas especially hard with newborns/messy toddler eaters and all the laundry they generate. Also in snowy weather the (outside) stairs was a bit of a hazard when carrying baby/toddler/laundry/groceries. (Lived in northern midwest US snowbelt city). Lost a huge clot when I came home from the hosp with DC3 after climbing the stairs (sorry if tmi), and getting home again after gallbladder surgery really took it out of me. Parking was in short supply too, and a few times I found my spot that I paid for occupied -- felt like keying those cars. It's no fun to circle around with tired DCs looking for a spot and then face lugging them all and the shopping a block or two and then upstairs.

I used to take out the bin twice a day if necessary using small bags. Hated the smell of a bin left too long, plus dreaded larger capacity bags bursting. Parked the DCs in front of the tv and made a run for it.

If you can get a dryer, do it.