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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to leave my 5 week old??

69 replies

wifey6 · 19/02/2013 10:13

I am currently 21 weeks pregnancy with DS2 & my whole family has booked a day out 4+ hours drive from home at a theme park when my DS2 will be approx 5 weeks old. My DH will have our DS who will be 3 & our 5 week old to care for from early hours til late the day we go. I do not doubt his capability but I really do not want to go & leave my DS2 5 weeks after having him. My DSis has made it clear I ABU but I do not think I am. Am I being a bit precious about leaving my baby?

OP posts:
DoJo · 19/02/2013 10:47

I couldn't sit comfortably on a soft sofa until mine was about 2.5 months old, and a year on the idea of going to a theme park t five weeks is making me wince! Even being in the car for that long would be a nightmare, so YADNBU.

Sugarice · 19/02/2013 10:48

A theme park when you've recently given birth! Shock.

Not a cat in hell's chance, you might be knackered and emotional! tell them NO and don't let them criticise you, they are being very unreasonable.

AnonymousBird · 19/02/2013 10:48

OP - does your Sister have children herself?

Do I take this is an adult's day out to a theme park???? Am I alone in thinking that is a bit weird anyway!?

Sugarice · 19/02/2013 10:48

Don't let them bully you , are you the youngest by any chance?

Original poster
wifey6 · 19/02/2013 10:51

Yes they both have children, youngest is 4 months.
It's a 'girls only' day so none of our DCs are going.
My DS2 will be the youngest of all the children at 4-5 weeks old.
Feel so stupid for even having to ask AIBU!! Confused as deep down i know i'm right. It's how they make me feel like my actions (not wanting to leave my newborn) is daft & I guess I needed reassurance them I'm not.

OP posts:
Original poster
wifey6 · 19/02/2013 10:52

Yes I am...it's that obvious Smile

OP posts:
Thumbwitch · 19/02/2013 10:55

YANBU at all.

I had DS2 last October and DH had his Christmas do 2m later, it was a cruise around Sydney Harbour. He wanted me to go but I said I wouldn't leave DS2 at that point, he was too little, I was bf'ing, and no way was I going to be stuck on a boat that I couldn't get off! Plus it was a 2h journey away and an overnight stay. Not a chance!
I told DH that the only way I would consider it was if DS2 came with us. DS1 was going to have a sleepover at grandma's (which he loves doing).
In the end, DH checked it would be OK and DS2 came with us. All fine.

If it was something you actually wanted to do, you could consider taking DS2 with you - but a 4h+ drive at that stage could be extremely uncomfortable! And in all fairness, sorry to be a harbinger of doom etc. but you don't know what state you'll be in post-delivery - you might not physically be capable of going, so far better to back out now.

Your sisters are being ridiculous, IMO. And very mean.

Sugarice · 19/02/2013 10:55

No you're not daft in the slightest.

Just because they might choose to do something their way, there's no need for them to expect you to follow the same way of thinking.

Stick to your guns!

annh · 19/02/2013 10:56

Why are a bunch of adults going to a theme park and leaving all their children behind? Why is your DH not invited? Is your family known for having days out like this where only part of the family is invited? And if the theme park is 4 hours away it's not just the day you will be apart from your children, it'll be more like from 7 a.m. to 9/10 p.m.

Original poster
wifey6 · 19/02/2013 10:59

Thank you all so much...I feel much stronger to tell them now.
I feel upset they are already planning on me leaving him before he is already here.
My DH never expected me to even do the short journeys to our relatives post-birth (20 mins max drive) & he organised for a few of them at a time to visit as he knew how sore, exhausted & emotional I was. Just wish they saw it from my point of view & were as considerate as he is.

OP posts:
Original poster
wifey6 · 19/02/2013 11:02

annh...I have asked this same question...why are grown ups leaving their children to go play on rides?!
But just because it's not my idea of fun, it does seem to be theirs Shock
They are not inviting the DPs/DHs as they will be babysitting.
My DH wouldn't go anyway as he would rather go to child friendly places so we can all go-which is what I want to do.

OP posts:
BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 19/02/2013 11:05

No way. YANBU at all.

Birdsgottafly · 19/02/2013 11:05

I would get the support of your MW (if you need it), it wouldn't be recommended to go on any rides until at least 6 weeks after birth.

Theme parks are tiring, under usual circumstances, let alone post birth.

It definately needs to be a firm "No".

Original poster
wifey6 · 19/02/2013 11:15

Sent text to say I wouldn't be going on their day out, it was a really good, straight to the point, polite message. The response, short, bit bitchy & a little patronising. Done now & I can stop fretting about itSmile
Feels quite liberating, standing up for myself..wish I'd done it sooner Grin
Thank you everyone, couldn't of found the right words or courage to stand up to them before.
I would of waited & waited & then backed out last minute which would of been worse. Worrying about it for months! At least this way, I've made it clear my mind is not for changing Smile

OP posts:
AnonymousBird · 19/02/2013 11:18

Well done, wifey, you've done the right thing! God, a theme park for a day, horror of horrors, with or without children, just think how much you will enjoy your day on that day!

ThisLittleMonster · 19/02/2013 11:19

Well done OP Smile

You've told them your feelings on the matter, now don't back down, or enter into negotiations. Move on, ignore bitchy comments, they'll get over it!

Good luck with the pregnancy. x

Sugarice · 19/02/2013 11:21

Well done wifey it feels good to stand up for yourself doesn't it.

annh · 19/02/2013 11:21

Good move, well done! Now mark the date in your calendar and have a nice day out with your dh and lovely children on the day - close to home, no breastfeeding problems, maybe 15-20 mins drive and with a lovely pub lunch in the middle!

Thumbwitch · 19/02/2013 11:21

Well done wifey! Let them get on with it, and ignore any snidey bitchy comments. You're doing the right thing for you and your own family. :)

Original poster
wifey6 · 19/02/2013 11:22

Thanks everyone.
Called DH to tell him I'd finally told them! :)
I'll enjoy that day even more now with my DCs & DH knowing that I did the right thing.
It's been worrying me for a few weeks now & I feel a weight has been lifted.
Onwards & upwards & no more being bullied Grin

OP posts:
Emilythornesbff · 19/02/2013 11:26

Oh goodness.
"no thanks. Have a great time"
Good luck with your new baby.

Emilythornesbff · 19/02/2013 11:28

Yay. Good for you.

Isityouorme · 19/02/2013 11:38

Good for you! Wtf would you want to go to a theme park 5 weeks after having a baby ..... Imagine engorged boobs on a roller coaster ..... Ooowww! They are being arses, not you!

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 19/02/2013 12:27

Good for you Wifey, hes your baby and only you decide when your ready to leave him for extended periods. Why would you want to go on all those rides 5 weeks after giving birth, selfish tits.

ddubsgirl · 19/02/2013 12:42

If u had a c section you couldn't go on the rides anyway let alone walk around a massive park your sisters are stupid,enjoy your new baby xxxx

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