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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why people need to "Survive" school holidays?

321 replies

SaggyOldClothCatpuss · 18/02/2013 10:54

There are always threads about this. I've been there, done the small child phase. It's hardly life shattering! We have a garden, a playground nearby and a local beach, tv and nearby friends.
I love spending time with my Dcs, but don't feel the need to occupy them for 24 hours a day! Why would you need to survive your own kids? Hmm

OP posts:
saintlyjimjams · 18/02/2013 14:22

Routine... that I don't know except to say that I am surprised that being at home seems abnormal when the children only go to school for 6 hours a day, 5 days a week, 39 weeks of the year (not including inset days).

Ok we're just talking ignorance here. If you want to educate yourself about severe autism read my blog, - there are some posts about behaviour on there. If you don't like blogs google the Challenging Behaviour Foundation and they can provide you with lots of information about the link between CB's and anxieties and the role of routine. If you don't want to be educated fine, but stop making stupid comments.

When you have very limited language (not enough to follow a film plot), when you can't read (so no book to disappear into), when you can't kick a ball around because you don't understand things like football, when you can't go out alone, but you're a teenager so have all that energy and need to to things having your day structured for you - so you are kept busy all day and you do the same thing at the same time each day makes you feel comfortable.

When you have a big white space in front of you (ds1 does go out every day - he has to, but I cannot structure the whole day for him) & no way of filing it, and very limited ways of communicating to those around you then you become anxious.

:waits for facetious response:

FantasticDay · 18/02/2013 14:23

I love time off with my dcs. However, I might say it is hard to 'survive' the school holidays, as I don't get 10 weeks annual leave a year, so need to pay extortionate amounts for childcare! I'm also aware that it is supposed to be dcs' holiday, so try to schedule in time off for playdates so they can have their mates round etc., which I find a bit stressful. (We don't have a garden, so can't turf them out)

therontheron · 18/02/2013 14:23

How exactly could the OP have written her first post so as to make it clear that she wasn't thinking about those children with SN, but rather the majority who do not have SN? (i.e. how could she have written it without causing offence to the parents whose children have SN?)

whatyoulookinat · 18/02/2013 14:24

Yabu not all children are easy to keep occupied, not all children can be left to there own devices for more than 10 mins without trying to kill each other, not everyone has the money to do activities they would like & the weather is not always good for being out in the park all day.

Well done for surfing though, in just about coping on day one of the hols.

googlyeyes · 18/02/2013 14:24

Not quite sure why mothers of SN children can't get what it's like to have non-SN kids. Most of us have those too.

Also not sure why those without SN children can't consider that others do have that extra struggle. There is no excuse for prejudice and intolerance.

As for kids 'only' being at school 6 hours a day 5 days a week 39 weeks a year. You do realise that that's quite a huge chunk of the year?

pigletmania · 18/02/2013 14:24

You try having a school holidays with a chi,d who is autistic and has dev delays, who is totally thrown off routine as school is closed, and a tantrumming toddler, not being able to drive and see how good you look op Hmm. Judge much!

akaemmafrost · 18/02/2013 14:24

therontheron because it has naturally arisen in the course of the discussion. Like ANY other subject might do.

babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 18/02/2013 14:25

gordy are you outing country as samcam?

whatyoulookinat · 18/02/2013 14:27

*Surviving not surfing, although surfing would be more fun.

therontheron · 18/02/2013 14:27

I've just seen the OP's last post. If she's off, then i am too. I don't want to offend anyone, particularly those who merit sympathy, but I really don't like this sort of pack bullying

Pagwatch · 18/02/2013 14:28

I wasn't offended. I thought the OP sounded as though she was reacting o other threads and reacting to a position you see as unreasonable often results in your posting in a certain tone.

I think 'aibu to be looking forward to the holidays and wonder why people find it difficult. Why do people find it hard - I don't understand?' would have been a chat with less acrimony. Except it probably would have got about two posts and

The SN angle ramped up because a few posters were being snide and then someone rolled out PO which, inthe context of SN is nearly always wankery.

fromparistoberlin · 18/02/2013 14:29

therontheron

I be dammed if I know!

OP, people are not cross with you now! there there, go to the park, enjoy sunny day and screw this hide thread!!!

pigletmania · 18/02/2013 14:30

The summer holidays was hell, dd often got bored (after taking her to the park, shops, theme park etc) and had frequent meltdowns she would open the door and run into the road. Taking her out was very difficult, becoming hysterical, mealting down. By the time she started her new autistic school my nerves were shot. Yes I survived but yes ts just that. Whoopsie do for being a perfect mother and not feeling like you want to jump off a cliff

Maryz · 18/02/2013 14:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

saintlyjimjams · 18/02/2013 14:31

Bullying therontheron?

After you made the suggestion that I wouldn't notice challenging behaviours during school terms just because it wouldn't affect me? That's pretty offensive Then followed it up with lots of eye rolling about why should routine make any difference.

I found that rather bullying if we're going to throw the word around.

saintlyjimjams · 18/02/2013 14:32

Oh I have no issues with the OP att, it was a rather unusual AIBU in that she said very quickly she hadn't thought it through properly. Fair enough, and good response.

amillionyears · 18/02/2013 14:32

well done saggy.

WilsonFrickett · 18/02/2013 14:33

How exactly could the OP have written her first post so as to make it clear that she wasn't thinking about those children with SN, but rather the majority who do not have SN? (i.e. how could she have written it without causing offence to the parents whose children have SN?)

If the OP had thought about children (and indeed parents) with SN at all she probably wouldn't have written the post, because she would then have realised that for some, the school holidays are a matter of survival.

Mind you if she'd thought about all sorts of people in all sorts of situations she wouldn't have phrased her post the way she did either. She didn't think.

But to be fair, the more 'robust' responses have been to other posters, not the OP.

saintlyjimjams · 18/02/2013 14:34

Now surfing is something we do do whatyou.

I would go so far as to say (and have said it many time) that it has been utterly life saving for us as a family and it has made school holidays less awful than they were. Which reminds me must book ds1 a surf this weekend.

WilsonFrickett · 18/02/2013 14:34

And what maryz said.

Maryz · 18/02/2013 14:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

therontheron · 18/02/2013 14:40

maryz - don't put words in my mouth. Anyway That's not what I think.

saintlyjimjams - what i wrote to you didn't/ doesn't strike me as bullying. For a start it wasn't 20 against 1. I didn't eye roll either. But I was a little dubious about some of the things you wrote until you explained your circumstances. Sorry for any hurt or distress caused.

therontheron · 18/02/2013 14:41

flamed/ bullied... same thing.

willesden · 18/02/2013 14:41

At this time of year, the beaches have more dog poo on them than the parks. Enjoy!

fromparistoberlin · 18/02/2013 14:43

and...not all beaches are nice, oh no

(she got pasted for the beach too)

I went on holiday to Kent, fucking shithole. I would rather live in a 1-bed in Tower Hamlets that on that Kentish beach