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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To speak to this boy about his tattoos. And how?

55 replies

pouffepants · 17/02/2013 19:27

A young lad of 15 lives next door, he hangs around with ds sometimes, and is really lovely. Often in and out of our house, and really chirpy and friendly.

He has got a tattoo, on his lower stomach, of his niece's name. It has been done by his dad, who has a new 'career' plan every week, and this week's is tattooist. The tattoo is wonky, and has a capital letter in the middle, and is of a weirdly spelt name anyway.

The other lads think it's hilarious, but are not laughing, they are deliberately telling him that it's really cool, and are 'fake' saying how cool they think his parents are for doing it. They are egging him on to show as many kids as possible. He's absolutely lapping it up and strutting around, and making a show of pulling down his waistband in a posey manner.

One of the boys told him straight, it looked stupid, but he was just told that he was jealous that his parents weren't so cool.

Anyway, I now hear that's he's intending on getting mum tattooed on one arm, and dad on the other. Even though ds thought the original one was hysterical, he thinks this is too silly to leave, so has attempted to tell him it's a bad idea, but has also been accused of being jealous.

So should I attempt to speak to him? He's never going to listen to me anyway is he?

Disclaimer, I've not seen the tattoo, but all the boys agree that's what it looks like.

OP posts:
McNewPants2013 · 17/02/2013 19:59

The Tattooing of Minors Act 1969 makes it illegal for anyone to tattoo you if you are under the age of 18 - although the offence is with the person who carries out the procedure, rather than the person who asks for the tattoo. New guidelines suggest that a tattoo artist should ask to see proof of age and record this before agreeing to tattoo you.

I would inform the police.

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 17/02/2013 19:59

If you don't want to go to the police or SS could you alert the school and let them do it?

TiddlyOmPomPom · 17/02/2013 20:02

I'm sorry to say, but I really do think you need to bite the bullet and report him.
So far he's 'practiced' on his own son, and who the hell does that?? Next he'll be offering free tattoos to mates so he can practice on them. Then the risks StuntGirl talks about become more and more likely, as this idiot carries on 'practising' on live canvases.

CailinDana · 17/02/2013 20:03

Let him deface his own body if he wants practice! Twat.

StuntGirl · 17/02/2013 20:05

Most tattoo artists do cailin. Then their equally tattooed mates let them do it on them. Then eventually they're set free on the public after lots, and lots, and lots of practice and messing up on willing adults.

pouffepants · 17/02/2013 20:07

If it had been on the sister, who is 18, would it still have been illegal because he's (presumably) not licensed?

OP posts:
specialsubject · 17/02/2013 20:09

tattooing a 15 year old is the same as tattooing a baby in the eyes of the law.

please report. Child abuse.

StuntGirl · 17/02/2013 20:10

I'm not 100% on the legalities of that bit but I suspect sadly not as long as she is over 18 and no money is exchanging hands. If he is charging to do it out of his house with no licence then THAT is definitely illegal.

sukysue · 17/02/2013 20:11

He's 15 and he needs help. It is a child protection case imho it needs referring to social services (which anyone can do) and I'm sorry op but in your heart of hearts you know what you have to do good luck.

pouffepants · 17/02/2013 20:15

I'm not sure what the longterm plan is, but I expect it to go the way of his previous plans.

Including, running an american diner, ice cream man, clown, butlins redcoat, hog roast, dog breeding, and roofing. None seem to last very long, so I expect this to blow over pretty quick. But the son gets to keep a few momentos by the looks of things.

OP posts:
sunshine401 · 17/02/2013 20:18

This type of behavior is becoming more and more common!! It is disgusting report it for the sake of investigation but the outcome will not be great. Which is a shame. Dad will most likely be finned and cautioned which will hopefully be enough to discourage him from being so stupid in the future.
:( poor lad.

notsofrownieface · 17/02/2013 20:21

I will echo the calls for you to report this. His dad is using him as a practice canvass. As much as vegetarians will hate this, pig skin can be used for this. A 15yo will think think he is 'cool' and 'hard' for this is, it's not it is akin (imho) to child abuse.

TroublesomeEx · 17/02/2013 20:55

OP, the dad's plans, long term or otherwise, are irrelevant.

You need to report this to the police. They will deal with the legal side of things and raise a safeguarding alert with the LA who will deal with the CP side of things.

You do need to do this. It's not akin to child abuse, it is child abuse.

Remotecontrolduck · 17/02/2013 21:16

Oh dear, you need to report this before he lets his dad do something he's REALLY going to regret. He needs protecting from himself, and his dad who's clearly a bit unhinged. Who'd do that to their own son?!

Lazer treatment is insanely expensive, please don't let his dad deface him any further. Poor lad is going to be mortified in a few weeks time.

HollyBerryBush · 17/02/2013 21:21

Social Services on this all the way - you can do that without leaving a name>

It cant come back to you - he's shown all and sundry the tattoo.

I'd also phone his school - dont need to give your name.

countrykitten · 17/02/2013 21:31

Report your concerns to the school - and stress that no one must know it is you that has reported it. They can then 'catch sight' of it and take it from there.

Sometimes we teachers have to be a little devious!

StuntGirl · 17/02/2013 21:39

Oh FFS fine OP, don't do anything. But equally don't come asking for advice on what to do if you're not willing to actually take any action. The father has acted illegally, immorally and irresponsibly. It's abuse. And if his friends and even other adults in his life won't stand up for him then I really feel for the poor lad, he stands no chance.

HollyBerryBush · 17/02/2013 21:44

TBH with you, if he's shown it to other teens, they will comment on it to teachers anyway.

People do do it - I frequently see 15/16yo's with them, just as they are about to leave school in the summer term. They love showing them off Hmm. I love pointing out they have just marked them selves out as identifiable next time they get nicked!

lastSplash · 17/02/2013 21:52

As posters above have suggested - report it to the school. Do it anonymously and they will have to act (after checking it's true). Unlikely it will come back to you for neighbours to be pissed off about.

jeanmiguelfangio · 17/02/2013 21:58

No one is going to know its you that has reported it, if the boy is showing lots of people then anyone could report them. What happens if another child wants one, boy says my dad can do it, and before you know it there are even more problems. Report the guy, who knows where is can lead- there are reasons why there is so much legislation to protect people

littlewhitebag · 17/02/2013 22:04

It is not a child protection or SS issue. I work in this area and we would not investigate this. Maybe the Police would look into it or some professional body related to tattooing. Also i think (could be wrong though) that if the parent agrees then a child can get a tattoo.

mumblecrumble · 17/02/2013 22:05

We have been in similar situations, its hard but the official people understand this.

I have found the RSPCA can refer you on all situations. We have never regretted it

(I sound like a loon but seriously, we have not regretted it)

StuntGirl · 17/02/2013 22:19

You are wrong littlewhitebag.

I am surprised to find the child protection authorities wouldn't take action on a father tattooing his child, I find that very sad :(

foreverondiet · 17/02/2013 22:28

You have to report it to social services and if he has showed loads of people no one will know its was you.

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 17/02/2013 22:29

You wouldn't investigate a father effectively branding his underaged son?

Would it be investigated if he was cutting him or burning him and leaving permanant scars as long as he had the child consent because he thought scars look 'cool'?

No-one under the age of 18 can get a tattoo regardless of parental consent.