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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not feel sorry for DH?

23 replies

bedmonster · 17/02/2013 00:28

He has just walked in through the door after being out since 4pm at a 'meeting' and said "I feel sick" - I have just had a little smile to myself and packed him off to bed with a bowl!

He did tell me that he would be out for the remainder of the evening so I wasn't expecting him home til late, but I went out the front for a fag and found him leaning on the car grumbling to himself!

Should I be playing the concerned girlfriend? Or AIBU to just quietly leave him to it and sleep downstairs?!

OP posts:

MumVsKids · 17/02/2013 00:30

Leave him to it, he'll be alright!!

Greensleeves · 17/02/2013 00:31

Eh? I don't get it... he's feeling unwell and you're laughing at him?

Has he actually done something wrong?

I'm usually all for a little schadenfreude but I'm not feeling this one

Agrestic · 17/02/2013 00:33

Just leave him to it :)

BanjoPlayingTiger · 17/02/2013 00:35

I think the 'meeting' may have been a pub trip greensleeves

bedmonster, you've been more than accommodating finding him a bowl!

OTTMummA · 17/02/2013 00:35

Leave him to it, just make sure he goes to the toilet before bed, don't need to wake finding him pissing in your closets.

Original poster

bedmonster · 17/02/2013 00:37

Well Greensleeves, he is feeling unwell due to a self inflicted night of heavy drinking, and i'm having a little smile. To myself. I didn't at any point laugh at him. Nor did I say he'd done anything wrong. Did I? I've been there myself and have felt a bit foolish for getting myself into a bit of a state, but am musing whether or not to be giving him more sympathy.

I have left him to it, he's in the bathroom having taken about 10 minutes to brush his teeth

OP posts:

Greensleeves · 17/02/2013 00:38

Yes I got that, but why does that mean she should laugh at him feeling sick?

Greensleeves · 17/02/2013 00:39

OK, I don't get it - if dh felt unwell I would be nice to him, unless I had reason to be sulking

Horses for courses I suppose!

Original poster

bedmonster · 17/02/2013 00:40

Banjo I realised this earlier! Ah well, he works hard, he has deserved a night out! He has been to the toilet and just shuffling about randomly now! I would always get a bowl even though he is rarely sick (twice in about 10 years!), can't risk it when I hate sick!

OP posts:

Pandemoniaa · 17/02/2013 00:41

I can't see why not. It's self-inflicted damage. Also, laughing gently at her intoxicated dp is far better than seething with resentment, surely?

AgentZigzag · 17/02/2013 00:41

I would laugh at someone feeling sick because they'd drunk too much because I'd be remembering what a twat I was when I did it, and what a twat I felt afterwards.

If you're an adult who should know their limits better, it's a minor punishment as something to remember for next time.

AgentZigzag · 17/02/2013 00:43

And I would feel sympathy at the same time as laughing at/with them.

YouTheCat · 17/02/2013 00:51

Just think though, if you hadn't gone out for a fag, he might still be helping prop up a car.

Aw the poor man.

Original poster

bedmonster · 17/02/2013 00:51

Pandemoniaa absolutely no resentment here - we both get similar downtime and are free to have nights out and weekends away as and when we please. I don't resent him having a bit of time out whatsoever, but I have had a smile as seeing him grumbling to himself by the car was a surreal moment

Agent exactly this - I have got a fresh pint of water for him and made him drink it, and put another one by his side of the bed. He has a bowl next to him and I have made him get his jeans and shirt off so he can sleep comfortable.

Now I am downstairs on the sofa bed where I won't hear him snoring in his sleep, or smell his boozy breath!

Greensleeves It's fine. You think IABU, I don't think so - I can agree to disagree with you on this one

OP posts:

Pandemoniaa · 17/02/2013 00:56

I wasn't suggesting you were seething with resentment, bedmonster just that I thought it much healthier to have a smile at the homecoming pisshead than it would be to be resentful.

AgentZigzag · 17/02/2013 01:01

Photographs with the bowl in shot need distributing around fb taking just in case he's forgotten.

S'for his own good.

YouTheCat · 17/02/2013 01:05

Have you got a permanent black marker for a nice authentic uni-brow?

Original poster

bedmonster · 17/02/2013 01:24

He doesn't do fb unfortunately! And i'm not venturing back up there in any case!

OP posts:

nannyof3 · 17/02/2013 01:32

His got a bowl.. I wud supply water and make him drink it...

Thats it, sorted!

maddening · 17/02/2013 07:42

I love the image of drunken dh leaning on the car and grumbling.

It is the only bonus of booze the you've been framed moments.

yaimee · 17/02/2013 07:45

I'd laugh, and I'd expect my dp to laugh at me in that situation too!

OHforDUCKScake · 17/02/2013 08:22

DH? Girlfriend? Surely its wife?

Original poster

bedmonster · 17/02/2013 22:24

I have just come back to this thread a bit puzzled - he is my DP not my DH! Never been married, never likely to be either so not sure where that came from!

DP was not sick, but woke up with a sore head. I got up with the DC, made him a cuppa and took it to him at 10 this morning. He drank it, got up and had his shower. I then took the DDs shopping for some stuff for them, he took DS to the park for a bit of fresh air (for them both!). He then cooked us a lovely roast and he's now in bed fast asleep!

Thanks for majority of YANBUs, I wasn't sure if I should have been more proactive

OP posts:

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