I am very cross so bring me all your AIBUs and I shall rant on your behalf.

[freddiemisagreatshag]

I don't have anything or anybody to rant at and I am cross so please bring me your ABIUs and I shall rant for you.

Aibu to want to call in sick just so I can sleep? I have another long (14 hour) shift today, dh and ds haven't been well, so I've not slept.

I'm not in an important job, just a call centre drone

Take a hip flask full of gin

Yes call in sick and have a lovely cosy day. It's Saturday after all. Only on condition you go to the shop and get some crap comfort food, Viennese Whirls (Kipling only) and McCoys are my choice.

That's the perfect answer to all problems.

If only I wasn't already on the bus :(

Will just keep thinking of gin (I've never actually had gin)

That's ok, just say you were gripped with stomach pains and had to rush to a toilet, they won't ask for too many details and if you say vomited then they will think it's a hangover. Alternatively, go in, put on an ill face and hold your tummy a few times. Then they will send you home saying how pale you look and you will feel properly validated. In fact, I think you can kind of talk yourself into thinking it's true if you try hard enough. I really want you to have a nice day at home

OP, I think it's just as well you are not playing in said hockey match, there may be a few bruised shins, but, oh, how therapeutic would that be!