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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think this is cheeky?

20 replies

88Charlie · 15/02/2013 19:10

I had a good friend in my teenage years who I bumped into at Christmas. I was pleased when, last week, she sent me a Facebook invite to an event celebrating her birthday. We live about an hour and a half apart. I realised there were two 'events,' one for a meal and one just for drinks, and I was just invited to the later drinks part - understandable, as we're not close, but still a bit of an effort to travel back late. I agreed I'd be going and it would be good to see her again.

Today, she's sent a message to everyone invited with a link to her Amazon wish list, saying 'Here's my wishlist, if you're thinking of getting me a birthday present '

AIBU to not really want to go now, as it'd involve 3hrs of travelling for a couple of drinks, plus either an expensive present of her choosing or feeling guilty?

OP posts:

Trills · 15/02/2013 19:12

Trills · 15/02/2013 19:13

Is it just me or does her birthday party sound as if it is set up like a wedding?

Mumsyblouse · 15/02/2013 19:13

I don't really get this, because you would have had to turn up with a present anyway, so how does her list change anything? If you don't want to get anything off it, get a bottle of wine/box of chocs.

Feminine · 15/02/2013 19:13

I wouldn't bother. What a hassle.

Stay friends on FB instead.

Flojobunny · 15/02/2013 19:14

The wish list is very cheeky!
Just go and ignore the present thing, take a bottle in a bag and a card and enjoy!

saycheeeeeese · 15/02/2013 19:14

That's so bloody cheeky, I'd make up an excuse not to go for sure, though I probably wouldn't have went anyway!

YANBU andcsge lives in laa laa land!!

saycheeeeeese · 15/02/2013 19:14

*and she

WhateverTrevor · 15/02/2013 19:15

Very rude, who has a wishlist for their birthday?
I wouldn't go, if she's just invited you on facebook then don't turn up. If she asks, say you were ill.

Trills · 15/02/2013 19:17

If you want to go, go.

If you think it's too much hassle, don't go.

If you want to get her a present, get one. List optional.

Softlysoftly · 15/02/2013 19:18

Wow it does sound very wedding like yanbu

TotallyEggFlipped · 15/02/2013 19:18

Why do you need to get her a present at all?

HecateWhoopass · 15/02/2013 19:19

I blame folks starting to do the grabby grabby at their wedding. As it become acceptable to do it in one situation - it inevitably bleeds into others and we have the gift lists for birthdays, christenings, births...

badguider · 15/02/2013 19:21

I wouldn't really bother with a present in those circumstances. But if I knew her better then it would depend what the stuff on the list is - if it's £6.99 paperbacks then no problem.

Original poster

88Charlie · 15/02/2013 19:24

Oh it is quite wedding-like, I didn't even think of that. I would probably have got her a present anyway but resent the assumption that everyone is expected to, if you know what I mean? Travel, drinks and a present from her list will come to more than I want to spend on a casual birthday night out, so I think I'll politely decline...

OP posts:

Original poster

88Charlie · 15/02/2013 19:25

And she's 27; it's not even an important birthday!

OP posts:

MrsKoala · 15/02/2013 19:28

I have never bought any friend a present or received one for birthdays, even at parties I have thrown. I don't know anyone past teens who get people gifts unless they are related.

I would go if i wanted but not take a present, just a bottle of whatever I was drinking. That's the norm in my circles.

Original poster

88Charlie · 15/02/2013 19:42

MrsKoala I would bring a present if invited to someone's house (just like if I went to dinner, something they'd like or a bottle of wine or something). I wouldn't normally buy a present for someone who'd suggested meeting in a pub for some drinks, unless it was a close friend. She's invited 50 people! I certainly wouldn't expect gifts from friends for my birthday.

OP posts:

saycheeeeeese · 15/02/2013 19:58

Seriously its not even a special birthday? ?? avoid this woman like the plague she sounds very self involved!

mamapants · 15/02/2013 20:13

But doesn't it say 'if you were thinking of getting me something'
I would read that as saying that she doesn't expect a present off most people but for those who are here is a list of ideas.
If she's invited 50 odd people she won't be expecting presents off them I wouldn't think.

5madthings · 15/02/2013 20:17

Who the fuck does a gift list for their bday?!! Cheeky cow!! For my bday I organise a meal out etc bit I don't expect presents, its enough to meet up with friends.

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