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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Preparing for a flaming, very bad teacher alert!

43 replies

DrSeuss · 13/02/2013 11:17

In a recent observation, I was told off by my line manager for telling a girl that I was disappointed in the grade she had achieved in her homework. Her level was three full levels under target, she is highly intelligent but lazy and by her own admission, had rushed through the work the night before despite having a week in which to do the work. I said one negative sentence on the subject stating that the grade was disappointing, nothing more extreme than that. She appeared not to care about my opinion either way, although this could have been not wanting to lose face, I suppose. I was told that I should have, "relied on my maternal instincts.". My instinct as a mother is that if my son went down three whole levels due to his own idleness and lack of organisation, he needs a kick up the butt!

Incidentally, the same manager was in the staff room last week, reading a kid's work out for the amusement of all and then ridiculing it. Apparently, that's fine.

OP posts:
MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot · 13/02/2013 12:37

Cory Grin

That line manager needs to be reported for a) telling you off b) maternal instinct comment c) ridiculing a pupils work.

Go up the chain and complain.

'Disappointment', when used properly (as you did) is a brilliant tool to give people a kick up the bum. It's only a bad thing when someone has tried their absolute best and still not done well - which is not the case here.

Even if you don't feel you can report her/take it further, at least you can be sure YOU are in the right and she is not.

(Did the child/her parents complain?)

Fillyjonk75 · 13/02/2013 12:39

YANBU Teachers did say that kind of thing to me sometimes and it did give me a kick up the bum as it made me realise they knew me as an individual and cared. Too many didn't at secondary school.

DrSeuss · 13/02/2013 12:46

Thanks everyone. I did feel that I was right, it's just nice to have confirmation. No, no parental complaint, although I am sure that the parent in question would side with me. It seems that the problem was my saying it in front of a class. I will probably not make a complaint, much as I would like to, as our school very much functions on who SMT flavours, which is her, not me. To go against her would just make even more trouble for me. However, I shall be storing up her comment for next time she mouths off in the staff room when I shall say something about how she is offending my maternal instinct. In the mean time, I shall entertain myself with fantasies about hiding fish sticks in her room and her having a giant zit for her upcoming wedding!

OP posts:
DrSeuss · 13/02/2013 12:47

Favours! Bloody auto correct!

OP posts:
WilsonFrickett · 13/02/2013 12:54

Tell you what, I'd rather you were teaching my DS than your manager.

cumfy · 13/02/2013 13:00

I am just sooo curious as to whether this manager is male/female, has/does not have children.

cumfy · 13/02/2013 13:03

oops missed your last post. Female then.

blackeyedsusan · 13/02/2013 13:05

Shock and I expect you are one of those terrible teachers that actually tries to teach the little darlings something too? now that is outrageous!

AyeOopMoose · 13/02/2013 13:58

OP I was actually with you all the way until I read your last post.

"It seems that the problem was my saying it in front of a class"

I agree with your line manager 100%. It would have been more appropriate and productive for your to speak to the student 1 to 1. There may be a reason for her attitude or maybe she needs a motivational/this won't be tolerated chat.

So YANBU in what you said but YABU in the way you said it.

From your last post I also expect there is a bigger story with your line manager as you said some unpleasant things about her.

atthewelles · 13/02/2013 14:08

I don't see anything wrong in saying it in front of the class. It was actually a statement that the child was capable of doing much better. Hardly an insult or put down.
If teachers had to take pupils to one side every time they wanted to make the mildest of criticisms they would never get out of the classroom.

WowOoo · 13/02/2013 14:12

But AyeOopM, when do teachers have time to speak to each student quietly and privately?

You are saying to her it was a shame she didn't try her best.

A good thing for other people to hear.

MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot · 13/02/2013 14:30

Nothing wrong with saying it in front of the class - all you effectively said was 'You didn't do your best and it shows' FFS - it's all getting a bit too bloody precious with what you can and can't say to kids these days. I wouldn't be a teacher for all the money in the world.

atthewelles · 13/02/2013 14:40

I agree. How on earth are these kids going to cope when they go out into the world and have to put up with colleagues who dont pussy foot around them, taking them into private rooms everytime they want to say anything even mildly critical etc. I don't think a teacher should insult or embarass a pupil in front of the class, but telling her she hadn't done her best work is a perfectly acceptable remark to make out publicly.

MamaMumra · 13/02/2013 14:48

Maybe your line manager was just expressing her disappointment OP? Grin

Startail · 13/02/2013 14:49

I was a bright and incredibly lazy child, I'd do bugger all all year and get A's in exams.

I think my teachers would have exploded if they hasn't been allowed a variety of put downs and miles of red ink especially reserved for my efforts.

There is absolutely no reason not to kick up the arse DCs you know are capable of better.

My dyslexic DD will, however think your a prick if you waste too much ink on her spelling or hand writing. if you bothered to read the ckass list it should say SLD by her name.

Seabird72 · 13/02/2013 15:43

I wish more teachers would comment on their disappointment of their students' work - kids are more likely to listen to the teachers over their parents.

AyeOopMoose · 13/02/2013 19:39

I entirely agree that you should have expressed disappointment in poor quality work but maintain it should not have been in front of the class.

How would you feel if your boss at work said something similar in front of your colleagues?

I am a teacher and would never make a comment like this in front of the class. There is usually a time in the lesson when you can have a quiet word with a pupil, if not get them back at break or lunchtime.

Far more constructive to speak 1 to 1 and make it clear that this wasn't acceptable rather than just say it was disappointing. If the pupil rushed work for you, they won't care that you are disappointed. Then agree a time (in school) when the work will be re done to an acceptable standard. They will care about giving up their time to do this and know that they can't get away with a rush job again.

Re the "maternal instinct" comment. Barking Grin.

Imaginethat · 13/02/2013 19:50

At our school there is no "I" as in "I like your story" because that makes it about the teacher rather than the child. And this in turn feeds the child's need for other approval rather than self appraisal. However, I doubt very much that your use of I was a problem for your line manager given their other remarks, maternal instinct etc. I think you need clarification. Is it the I statement? (you should please me not disappoint me), is it that you said it in front of the class? (humiliation) - how exactly should you have phrased your feedback? Your line manager needs to explain. His own disappointment is very poorly articulated!

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