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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel like this is cliquey behaviour on Girls weekend away

17 replies

GirlsonFilm · 13/02/2013 09:27

Off on a girls weekend away in a few weeks - 16 of us going all staying in chalets of 4, never met inhabitants of chalet No 4 (but I'm sure we'll get on great), very good friends with one of my chalet sharers and have met the other two a handful of times (but again get on fine).
Dinner on first night to be in chalet (can't get 16 round a table so agreed individual chalets to eat together and then get together with everyone for going out). Except just got an email from Chalet numbers 2&3 to say we're organising dinner for us together on Friday night.
Just think it may have been nice to either stick to original plan or arrange for everyone to eat together. Feel like I (and my fellow chalet inhabitants) are being excluded.. am I relapsing to teenage insecurities and AIBU?
I'm in my 30s FFS

OP posts:
fluckered · 13/02/2013 09:29

then get together with number 4. take the opportunity to make friends with everyone. dont read too much into it. perhaps they know eachother a little more than you do of the others.

pictish · 13/02/2013 09:30

Gah...I hate this sort of shit.
I don't know, is the answer.
On the one hand yeah, but on the other hand no.

teacher123 · 13/02/2013 09:33

Doing everything together as a group of 16 is going to be a logistical nightmare, whereas going out for dinner as a group of 8 is easy peasy. I would stick to original plan of having dinner in chalet and then meet up later. Much less faff I reckon! I would email back saying 'that's fine-which bar are we meeting in later' and then forget about it.

janey68 · 13/02/2013 09:33

Well why not send an email around saying chalets 1 and 4 will eat together?!
Tbh I think you're over thinking it. With 16 of you, it's hardly an intimate weekend with close friends, and I imagine people will break off and do their own things anyway won't they? Or are all 16 of you going to do everything en masse?
I would relax, go with the flow and use it as a chance to make some new friends rather than be cliquey about it all

fluckered · 13/02/2013 09:34

be the bigger person and organise the other chalet to meet with ye. make new friends!!! good ice breaker before the pub.

Eebahgum · 13/02/2013 09:34

What chalet number are you? Did chalet 2 & 3 email you to say they're having dinner together - and you're not invited? That does sound a bit rude. If it's just for a weekend I reckon you forget the table, order takeaway pizza & wine & get everyone on the floor in one chalet.

maddening · 13/02/2013 09:38

If it was 14 of the group getting together then they would be excluding but it is only half the number it doesn't seem it to me.

It sounds like they don't feel they are excluding 8 of the group as they are honest and upfront about it.

I would suggest doing something with chalet 4 -as a v close friend of yours is close to them am sure you'll get on

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 13/02/2013 09:41

A weekend away with 16 people.......impossible to keep everyone happy.

Just get together with chalet 1 and have dinner with them then?? What does it matter if chalet 2 and 3 have dinner together or apart?

Doesn't sound like exclusion to me. Just send your own email round about chalet 1 and 4 getting together.

Are you sure chalet 2 and 3 are not preparing dinner for all the chalets though as that is how I read your post to begin with?

MrsMushroom · 13/02/2013 09:52

God this is why I have never even considered going on a thing like this! You're an adult ffs....it's not a GIRL'S anything...it's a group of women on a break together.

Get over yourself!

Saski · 13/02/2013 09:53

Blimey that's a big group.

Inevitably people will break off as a result of such a big number, and hurt feelings will ensue.

It's logistics, not personal, but I totally understand - I get paranoid about this sort of thing too!

janey68 · 13/02/2013 10:13

That's a point Betty- it does read like that looking at it again. And why would they send an email round to everyone if they were wanting to be cliquey about it?
Why not do a reply to all asking for clarification: are chalets 2 ans 3 organising food for all, or shall 1 and 4 make their own plans? That way it's not assuming there's a problem, and it's making it clear that you're all grown ups and hardly going to be sitting in your chalet worrying about it

Original poster
GirlsonFilm · 13/02/2013 10:51

Thanks MNs, I've manned up and arranged dinner for my and the other chalet.

Betty, explicitly 2&3 as in message to all attendees "chalet 2 & 3 will be eating together on friday night".

Just drags you straight back to school though doesn't it.....

OP posts:
DeWe · 13/02/2013 13:57

Why don't you email back and say something along the lines of "great idea, 16 is really too many to eat together, why don't we agree different chalets togther on different nights so we all get to eat with different people.
Night 1: 2&3 and 1&4
Night 2: 1&3 and 2&4
Night 3: 3&4 and 1&2"

fromparistoberlin · 13/02/2013 15:53

de we!!!!!!

Its sound awful OP!!!!

Adversecamber · 13/02/2013 15:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nancy66 · 13/02/2013 15:56

just the mention of the world 'chalet' would be enough to make me cancel.

BambieO · 13/02/2013 16:03

Grin nancy

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