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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cry every time I hear Slipping through my fingers in Mamma Mia

147 replies

crazy8 · 12/02/2013 23:44

I have a gorgeous, beautiful sometimes bratty DD who is 7. I can't imagine her growing up and leaving home. I know it will happen one day.

OP posts:
BsshBossh · 14/02/2013 00:07

YANBU. I cried during the movie and I cry hearing the song now and I do think about DD growing up and away from me. Yeah yeah pull yourself together Bssh.... and I keep it to myself, but... Again, YANBU.

BsshBossh · 14/02/2013 00:21

littlejo so sorry, how utterly awful Sad.

My 4.5 yo recently began telling me how when she gets married she won't ever want to live with her DH because she only wants to live at home with mummy and daddy. She also says that the three of us will grow old (to 120 years apparently!) together. I get quite wistful because I know from my own experience exactly how different her thoughts will be when she hits her teens.

My mother always tells me how I've never stopped being her little girl. Now I'm a mother I totally get her.

chipmonkey · 14/02/2013 01:03

Littlejo I lost my only daughter as well and I can't listen to that song anymore. Or a lot of other songs.

littlejo67 · 14/02/2013 01:20

Chip > straight back. I am the same - music can be just too emotive , the lyrics can suddenly hit you when your not prepared.

Katienana · 14/02/2013 07:41

Done beautiful posts on this thread, my heart goes out to those of you grieving for your children. Feel so blessed to be cuddling my 4 month old ds. His life is already going so fast, I remember crying in the, hospital on the second night he was born because I realised one day he would grow up and leave me, and would never again need me so much as he did then.

ledkr · 14/02/2013 08:03

chip I always think of your Dd when I'm struggling with patience with mine. So sad for you and jo I simply don't have any words.

Bakingnovice · 14/02/2013 09:17

Chip so sorry for your loss. Sending you hugs. Lots of them.

saycheeeeeese · 14/02/2013 09:26

YABU because the original Abba version is a million times better, written by Bjorn for his daughter Linda and sung by her mother Agnetha, absolutely beautiful!!!

janji · 14/02/2013 09:54

Are there any 'son' songs that make you snivel?!

BsshBossh · 14/02/2013 09:59

Oh chip big (((hugs))) to you too. Loss like that puts everything in perspective when we're feeling frustrated with our DC.

DomesticCEO · 14/02/2013 10:06

Janji, I have two little boys so I can think you can guess which one gets me . . .

But tbh I don't really notice the 'gender' of songs - slipping through my fingers is just as poignant for mums of boys IMO, but then I'm v sentimental about things. I also love the bare naked ladies song about his newborn boy.

DomesticCEO · 14/02/2013 10:09

When you Dream by Barenaked Ladies

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 14/02/2013 11:28

I love that song too, DomesticCEO. Also Beautiful Boy by John Lennon, especially this bit:

"Out on the ocean sailing away
I can hardly wait
To see you come of age
But I guess we'll both just have to be patient
'Cause it's a long way to go
A hard row to hoe
Yes it's a long way to go
But in the meantime

Before you cross the street
Take my hand
Life is what happens to you
While you're busy making other plans"

Knowing that he never did get to see his boy grow up :(

DomesticCEO · 14/02/2013 13:58
Sad
DomesticCEO · 14/02/2013 13:59
thegreylady · 14/02/2013 14:12

Please can someone post a youtube link for me as I keep getting 'sorry this video is unavailable' when I try.
TIA

DomesticCEO · 14/02/2013 14:13
weegiemum · 14/02/2013 14:18

I listen to this track and I well up every time.

But when my dd1 was born just over 13 years ago my dear Gran (who isn't with us any more) gave me some fantastic advice:

"hold them too tight and they'll slip from your hands like a bar of soap. Hold them lightly and they'll always be yours".

She was right. Doesn't stop me crying though. My first baby is a teenager with a phone and a Facebook account and hair straighteners! How did that happen?

DomesticCEO · 14/02/2013 14:19

That is good advice weegiemum Smile.

My eldest only started school this year but I still find it odd that there's a whole part of his life now that I'm not privy to Blush.

thegreylady · 14/02/2013 14:24

Thank you Domestic-that worked :
My dd is 38 now but she will always be 'my funny little girl' in a secret place in my heart.Once they are born you never lose them-no matter what-as the book says-'love like starlight never dies'.You have experienced that amazing surge of unconditional love which changes you forever. I cannot understand the pain of losing a child-it is my worst nightmare :(
I watch my dd now with her own two 'funny little boys' and see the cycle repeating.I do regret the times I was impatient,distracted or cross.The times I maybe wasn't 'there' when I should have been.Dh died when dd was 11 and the years from 9 to 12 must have been so hard for her.

DomesticCEO · 14/02/2013 14:40

I'm sorry for your loss thegreylady - I too cannot understand the pain of losing a child, only the pain of thinking I was never going to have them for many years.

My boys are my world but I think we wouldn't be human if they didn't drive us to distraction from time to time. How lovely that you are now a grandmother and able to enjoy it all again Smile.

chipmonkey · 14/02/2013 16:58

janji Two little boys! Do you have to ask?

Abitwobblynow · 15/02/2013 05:58

I do regret the times I was impatient,distracted or cross.The times I maybe wasn't 'there' when I should have been.

  • the regrets of a good mother.

Remember that being perfect is not the goal. We have to be 'good enough' so that children hit the pain of imperfection (our impatience etc) - but with someone who loves them consistently, so that they can learn they do survive and it is not the end of the world (Winnicot)

So sorry for your loss Greylady.

betterwhenthesunshines · 15/02/2013 09:40

I'm streaming with tears just reading this. I'd never heard the song until the film but it's quite extraordinary. Recently it was on the radio at breakfast time and the children were both looking at me Confused as I was blubbing into the toast.

I think it's because it feels about regrets, it's amazing watch your children grow and be part of their lives, but we all have parts we wish we could rewind and live through again. Either because they were wonderful, maybe we didn't appreciate them at the time. I'd give anything to go back and have to do a snuggly nightfeed again. Or because we know WE could have done better - and then it's a bit of a reminder to ourselves.