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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I was unreasonable earlier. Now I need all of you tell me how I can become more confrontational so it doesn't happen again

23 replies

HarryTheHungryHippo · 12/02/2013 20:53

I was walking the dog a minute ago and saw someone with his dog off lead squatting down, he saw me and walked towards it like he was going to pick it up then didn't.
I wanted to shout at him but I overanalysed it and by the time I'd built myself up he'd gone.
How do you become confident enough to stand up to people, it's not something iv ever done and it makes me uncomfortable but I can't spend the rest of my life saying nothing, I won't.
I know this isn't strictly an AIBU since we all know I was but I need the harshness this place gives

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 12/02/2013 20:56

Maybe the dog was constipated and didnt do anything?

aldiwhore · 12/02/2013 20:56

To be fair, YANBU, you have to pick your battles sometimes. It's a lot easier to say something online than face to face.

If this is something you wish to change, then CBT may help you? Start small.

I am in awe of my DH who is able to complain/scold/be assertive without causing offence or going over the top. I tend to either say nothing or turn into a crazy cat lady.

You sound normal. From your OP alone.

mum11970 · 12/02/2013 21:01

Could have been a female dogs and she just had a wee.

HollyBerryBush · 12/02/2013 21:02

I dont think 'confrontational' is the image you want to give - that implies agressive and looking for a fight.

Why cant people be overtly 'nice'? you could have called out to your fellow dog walker along the lines of 'caught short? done that myself, here, take my spare bag'.

You would make your point with out any need for confrontation

WorraLiberty · 12/02/2013 21:04

Could have been a female dogs and she just had a wee.

I was just thinking that

Maybe he walked over to check and realised there was no crap?

Original poster

HarryTheHungryHippo · 12/02/2013 21:06

Nope it was poo, I picked it up

OP posts:

IneedAsockamnesty · 12/02/2013 21:07

I cannot possibly be the only person who originally thought the dog owner was squatting down having a crap

Original poster

HarryTheHungryHippo · 12/02/2013 21:07

He walked over to make a show, which makes it worse. If he was a fuck you type he wouldn't have bothered so I doubt he would have been aggressive. I should have said something.
If I can pick up my dogs shit whilst carrying ds in the sling then why the fuck can't everyone else?

OP posts:

andubelievedthat · 12/02/2013 21:07

Oh sister ! ," you need the harshness this site gives " do you? really ? any particular reason ?

Original poster

HarryTheHungryHippo · 12/02/2013 21:08

Add message | Report | Message poster Sockreturningpixie Tue 12-Feb-13 21:07:15
I cannot possibly be the only person who originally thought the dog owner was squatting down having a crap
Dear god I hope you were. Goes back to re-read her op

OP posts:

Catchingmockingbirds · 12/02/2013 21:11

mum1 your not alone, I thought the same.

GettingTooOldForThis · 12/02/2013 21:11

I thought it was the man squatting too for a second.

Original poster

HarryTheHungryHippo · 12/02/2013 21:11

I'm not really sure I get your point andubelievedthat
Most of the ladies on here are outspoken and therefore will be able to tell me what makes them tick.
For example your reply seems most confrontational, care to share some tips?

OP posts:

Catchingmockingbirds · 12/02/2013 21:12

Shit, that was supposed to be for sock.

Fakebook · 12/02/2013 21:16

No, I read it as the dog owner squatting down pooing too. .

Being confrontational is rude, like ready for a fight. I think assertiveness comes with age and the amount of bad situations you've been through and that toughens you up.

IneedAsockamnesty · 12/02/2013 21:19

Glad it wasn't just me. Having a vision of horror.

pleasethanks · 12/02/2013 21:21

You don't need to be confrontational, just confident.

How about just saying something to him like 'Do you need a bag for that, I have a spare?". You not being confrontational at all, being helpful in fact and letting him know you know he didn't pick it up.

thebody · 12/02/2013 21:24

Have ha thought the man was having a poo too.

To he honest you need to be sensible and pick your battles. He might have been aggressive and you could have out yourself in danger.

Maryz · 12/02/2013 21:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

quoteunquote · 12/02/2013 21:35

I just always pull a bag out of my pocket and say in a cheerful voice, "Oh do you need a bag? here I've got a spare one", and hand it to them,

either they say no and then have to get one out, or they take it, and you smile and say, "oh it is horrible when you think you have lots and you can't find one"

they always pick it up.

ChairmanWow · 12/02/2013 22:18

I used to live next to a park that was treated as a doggy toilet, so I decided enough was enough and started carrying bags. I did the spare bag routine dozens of times and was only turned down once, by a very, very drunk man who would probably have turned down a tenner.

OT but I also saw a woman walking a goat on a lead there once

CoolaSchmoola · 12/02/2013 23:42

I did wonder why the man was squatting.

StuntGirl · 12/02/2013 23:56

I thought it was the man squatting too. I wondered why you needed to be confrontational about that

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