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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To be a Non-Driver that doesn't expect lifts.

100 replies

usualsuspect · 12/02/2013 14:03

Or am I a rarity?it would seem so reading all the moaning about giving people lifts threads on MN ATM.

OP posts:
GrowSomeCress · 12/02/2013 14:04

Yanbu, me too

TravelinColour · 12/02/2013 14:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

atthewelles · 12/02/2013 14:06

YABU. Just because you don't expect lifts it doesn't mean that some non drivers do and can be quite self entitled about it. People have every right to come on a moaning forum and moan about it.

aldiwhore · 12/02/2013 14:07

YANBU. I'm a driver, but was a non-driver for longer than most and never expected a lift. It was nice to get them occassionally though.

I always pick up my work buddy if I see her at the bus stop. She doesn't expect me to stop.

In fact, I don't think I've ever been asked for a lift by a non-driver... that might be a bit telling on my driving skills though, who knows!

badtime · 12/02/2013 14:07

YANBU.

I rarely get lifts, and would never expect anyone to go out of their way for me. However, I am fortunate that I live within 5 minutes walk of 3 useful bus routes (and 2 useless ones), and can therefore easily get to the train for longer distances. All the supermarkets deliver to where I live, so I don't need to carry heavy shopping.

Basically, I live in London and have never had to drive.

Maebe · 12/02/2013 14:07
Grin

I'm a non-driver, I don't expect lifts. I certainly never ask for them. If they are offered, half the time I turn them down because I enjoy walking or there is an easy train journey I can make instead, and if I do accept them I offer petrol money or make sure I buy the driver tea/ cake etc. Neither DP or I drive and we don't have any problems at all. If there's somewhere we want to go that's hard to get to, we get a taxi - it still saves us thousands a year, considering we live somewhere easy to get around and we both commute by train to work.

So YANBU. But I agree that we seem to be in a minority. And according to a lot of posters, we only haven't learnt to drive or bought a car purely to be massive, entitled PITA's to everyone we know!

phoenixrose314 · 12/02/2013 14:08

I'm a non driver and I know bus routes like the back of my hand!

Original poster
usualsuspect · 12/02/2013 14:10

All that seething by the lift givers, who knew?

OP posts:
DameMargotFountain · 12/02/2013 14:12

i'm a non-driver and i ask DH to take me places, i never expect him to but he'd find himself with no dinner if her refused

i walk or get the bus/taxi if he's busy

Branleuse · 12/02/2013 14:15

im a non driver. Rarely ask for lifts except occasionally off my mum or partner, but not usually.

I have been trying to learn to drive for the last 2 or 3 years but i have no spatial awareness and shit concentration span and have failed my test 7 times and just cannot afford to keep on with it

coppertop · 12/02/2013 14:15

YANBU.

I'm a non-driver and have never asked for or expected a lift from anyone.

BornToFolk · 12/02/2013 14:17

All that seething by the lift givers, who knew?

I know, it makes me a bit nervous to accept lifts now!
I don't drive and me and DS are well used to getting the bus or train or just walking. I got chatting to another mum at football on Sat morning as we stood in the snow watching the kids get covered in mud and mentioned that we were getting the bus home and she offered us a lift. I did say that we were fine on the bus but she insisted. I was very grateful and thanked her properly (I hope!) but now I'm worried that she's seething inside.

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/02/2013 14:20

I was a non-driver for years and lived in London so very easy to get around. Geography does play a part. When I drive I offer lifts all the time and don't seethe if they are accepted.

The rules would be; thank people; don't expect; refuse a little to see if they really want to; offer petrol if it is regular or a long way; if petrol is refused maybe a little coffee or something as a thank you.

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 12/02/2013 14:20

Im a driver, and i have no issue with giving people lifts, its when people just automatically assume they are gonna get one, even though its quite obvious you havent got the time.

confusteling · 12/02/2013 14:21

YANBU.

The only lift I have ever accepted was with a woman who lives down the street from my mum, and who works up the street from my house. She offered me a lift, and I gladly accepted - but I walk up to her workplace, and only go in the car if it suits her plans. I don't expect her to change any plans/

Very very rarely in cars anyway, other than taxis. I much prefer the bus as I can kick back, and listen to music for an hour. Costs £12 for a return journey to my mum's though Hmm - it would cost me less to travel 150 miles to Glasgow!!

KellyElly · 12/02/2013 14:21

I don't expect lifts as a non driver but live in London so is actually easier to get about by public transport. If someone offers I won't say no though Grin

JackieTheFart · 12/02/2013 14:22

Of the many many people I know that don't drive or have cars, I don't know any that 'expect' lifts from those that do.

So YABU to make an enormous extrapolation from the couple of threads about it.

I don't say no if they offer though Grin

Original poster
usualsuspect · 12/02/2013 14:24

I'm never going to accept a lift again, just in case I do it wrong Grin

OP posts:
glenthebattleostrich · 12/02/2013 14:24

YABU, don't you realise that all drivers should be offering to drive us everywhere. In fact I demand the drivers of MN start a rota to ferry us non drivers around. It is my human right.

And i won't offer petrol money or thanks either. Because I am special :)

Original poster
usualsuspect · 12/02/2013 14:24

A couple of threads?

There's one a week on here at least.

OP posts:
confusteling · 12/02/2013 14:24

Must admit I never did offer petrol money as it was a journey this person would be making daily anyway, she wasn't incurring extra expense due to me .. Maybe I should have offered!! Buy her a bottle of Wine and that every Christmas though.

dexter73 · 12/02/2013 14:25

I suppose if you are a non-driver you never get asked for lifts so it is something you have no experience of. I don't mind giving people lifts but sometimes I do feel like I am expected to give someone a lift when I would rather not. Most people I know who don't drive manage perfectly well using taxis or public transport but there are some who do expect a lift.

Maryz · 12/02/2013 14:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

confusteling · 12/02/2013 14:31

Can be next to impossible not to ask for a lift at times to be honest. At my mum's they have a branch surgery and the main appointments are done 2 miles away in another village; either you can walk 2 miles to the village along the country roads take me home... or you can take the bus to town (30 minutes) and then the bus to the next village (35 mins), or you can plead for a lift!! Understandably most people choose the second option but it does mean that there's a need for willing drivers to ferry you over. My gran wasn't too chuffed when I had surgery and needed to go to the main surgery daily for a week...

Latara · 12/02/2013 14:32

I don't drive because i have epilepsy which isn't well controlled.

The only people i ever request lifts from are my 2 best friends who i've known for 20 years so they're like sisters really.
& then only if they are driving my way anyway, plus i offer money & / or drinks.

Sometimes they expect me to get to places that no bus goes to (they both live in country towns) & i feel that they have no idea what it's like not to drive.
But i try to make an effort where possible.

I would love to be able to drive but it's just not likely that i will be able to.