AIBU being unfaithful and threesomes

[almostanotherday]

Cheating to me is having sex or kissing someone else other than your partner.

So am AIBU to think that having a threesome is also cheating even if your partner is involved to me that would mean we have both cheated.

YABU - having a threesome is not cheating as long as both parties are willing and consenting.

Cheating is mucking around behind your partners back.

Many couples have open relationships where they knowingly sleep with other people - they are not cheating as their partner knows about it and is happy about it.

what Betty said

I think many are manipulated into threesomes the issue there is control

What counts as cheating is for individuals to decide, and then couples to agree upon (something pretty fundamental to the well-being of the relationship).

If one party thinks that physical contact with a third party is always wrong, then that person will not consent to a threesome, so the situation does not arise. If consent was obtained under duress then the situation is serious, possibly criminal, and likely to be terminal for the relationship

If both are there in a threesome then it's not cheating as both are seeing what the other is up to and presumably in complete agreement with each other.

YABU as mutual consent is the key.

Unless your religion/belief specifically states that consentual threesomes are adulterous regardless of permissions. In which case YANBU.

But remember it's YOUR life, YOUR morals, YOUR rules. What is adulterous to you may be different to someone else.

For what it's worth, I'm not religious, I don't care what other's do, adultery doesn't come into it, I find the idea a bit 'yak' - my personal opinion. By saying that I expect fully for someone to call me a prude. Likewise, if you give your personal opinion, you have to expect someone to strongly disagree.

It's not worth arguing over, unless it's your partner that has very different ideas of fidelity to you.

Live by your own rules quietly, and only shout if persecuted is probably the wisest thing my Granny said!

There are many different kinds of relationship. I wouldn't say that a couple who choose to swing are cheats, however if my DH decided to do then he would be cheating, because thats unacceptable to me.

People have their own boundries in relationships, you can't label other peoples limits in their relationships based on your own view of whats acceptable in yours.

its not cheating if everyone is up for it.

Well, you'll have to pop back in and let us know how it goes. I've never had a threesome!

It's not cheating to have a threesome although I do wonder just how popular threesomes are with both partners. However, it isn't being monogamous either. Which may or may not be a very important factor in your relationship.