To confiscate her phone?

[Lynned]

Dd woke her brother up last night at 11 screaming at me as she couldn't find her PE kit. She should have got it ready earlier and was generally rude as well. This morning she still could not see the error of her ways, and I got another mouthful. The only way I could think of as punishment was to hit where it hurt, hence the phone going. I told her it will be returned when her behaviour and attitude improves. I'm sure other mumsnetters will tell me I could have handled it better?

How old is your dd?

14

She's 14 so she should be sorting these things out herself and not taking it out on you when things don't go her way

I don't think you've handled it wrong, just stay calm and don't get into a slanging match with her.

Is she's stubborn though, will she back down?

Are you banning fb and other forms of communication with her mates as well.

No, she cried when I said I was taking her phone, and offered up the laptop/ iPod/ kindle as alternatives. She said she didn't like walking in the dark without her phone. (It will just be getting dark when she comes home, she is only a 10 minute walk away)

Yes it became a slanging match, which made DH shout too. Ho, hum will try calm next time! The joys of parenthood, give me a terrible anytime!

*two

My girls (16 year old twins) are currently without 'phones and ipads. When they can be polite to me, on a consistent basis, not just when they want a lift/money/new clothes, they will be returned. It's been two weeks so far, and do you know what, it's lovely and quiet. No arguments about who is winning at what game, no he said/she said no faceache. Heaven. I hate bloody gadgets!

YANBU. I have used this as a punishment for the last 2-3 years. I pay for the phone and internet access, i won't do that unless DD respects me. Why on earth should I? If she acts like that at work or with friends she will get into trouble. DD went through a very rude phase about 14-15 and is coming out of it mostly. If I hadn't been strict she would probably not have grown out of it. You are doing the right thing.

What I do when DD needs the phone (not if she is local or says she needs it for safety as I don't think she needs it, but if she is away a weekend or I need to be in contact) I give her a spare 10.00 phone which only rings and texts. No internet access, no blackberry messaging, music etc. That works too. That way can contact in emergency but can't do much at all. Don't let your DD offer you other things instead either..They have to learn you only pay for things if they act respectful to you.