To be annoyed when ...

[babaloulou]

... My dd 4 calls for next door's dd 4 and her 10 year old brother comes along? 4 year olds play babies and dress up whilst ten year old stands bored watching or wondering around the house. Feel annoyed and that I need to entertain him in some way.
Ps I am 30 weeks pregnant and can do without it. The 4 year olds play together without my involvement so I get a little break. Am I being selfish as 10 year old obviously bored without his sister at home.

Doesn't sound like he actually wants to come if he's bored ... does his Mum make him ? to watch his sister ?

Yabu. You want the other 4yo to keep your dd entertained so that you can have a break. Perhaps your neighbours would like their dc to play together so that they can have a break.

Is it really usual for 4yo kids to call on each other? Would have driven me nuts...

YANBU. If you offer to have one child an they send two its a PITA.

I'd stop inviting the 4 year old over and find a new one with no entourage.

Are these pre-arranged playdates or just ad hoc things? Because I think there is a difference.

YANBU. He should be out with his own friends or at home with his parents, not hanging aimlessly around your house where there are no children his age to keep him entertained.

YANBU. Can't believe all the 'they come as a package' responses tbh! They are individual children with very different ages, to package them together is ridiculous.

If their parents don't want their 4 year old dd to come to you because she is amusing her 10 old brother then they say she can't come and don't send her brother as well! But really? I can't imagine a 10 year old boy and 4 year old girl have an awful lot in common - I could see that the older child might entertain the younger one but the other way round?

Anyway whatever the reasoning is I think it's totally fair enough to say you're inviting the 4 year old around and not her brother.

Yes, the parents could tell their dd that she couldn't go, but if OP's dd just turns up without warning, that could trigger a bit of a meltdown.

Personally, I'd have been quite annoyed if a neighbour's child had persistently called for dd at that age. Perhaps they're trying to discourage it?

They are our next door neighbours. The 4 year olds often play together and when it's cold outside they obviously play indoors, at ours mostly. So it isn't pre arranged. I don't think they should come as a package either. Also feel sad if I told my dd she cannot call for her friend anymore, and for her friend.

jinsel maybe you are right, time to stop encouraging dd to play with her friend next door if I am not prepared to have both children.

Oh I must point next doors calls for dd as much as my dd calls for her.

But OP, do you know if the other family are happy with the ad hoc calling round? Does their dd also come calling for yours with or without her brother?

Our neighbour has a dd the same age as mine but we'd always check with each other first if it was ok to call. I'd find it a bit intrusive if she just turned up.

Are your next door neighbours Charlie and Lola?

Sorry op x post. So does she bring her bro when she calls for your dd. In that case, yanbu!

No she comes on her own when she calls for my dd and always comes into our house.