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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to be *that* DIL...

2 replies

ThatsMyChocolate · 11/02/2013 15:23

But not able to help it! MIL is driving me (& DH too) mad at the moment.

I get that she's sad she doesn't see my DD, her first DGC, as often as she would like, but we can't help that we live so far apart. Then DH said DD & I had a lovely visit with my DPs recently and got a spoiled - MIL immediately starts posting gifts for DD. Which is a nice thing to do, sure, but feels like she's trying to make it competition, IYSWIM? And this week actually said, "well, at least we'll have DGD for her 1st birthday" (her emphasis) and is now in a huff because DH pointed out that actually no, whilst we'll be down there for BIL's wedding two days before, we'll have traveled home before DD's birthday as we will both have work, and not able to get time off that week.

And at Christmas she was trying to pull some kind of oneupmanship with what she had bought for DD compared to what my family had given (which didn't compare - plus the main present she gave DD is for children aged 18 months plus when DD was only 4 months old and was a cheap copy of a gift DH had actually suggested (which was suitable for younger babies). I'm still bitter as DH had to take pictures of DD 'enjoying' the present for MIL and she fell off and spent the day howling, poor poppet (know this is DH's fault really and not MILs, but still...)

So, I know IABU really, how do I get over it?!

OP posts:
Squeakygate · 11/02/2013 15:43

Without being horrible, I think you and dh need to take a hold of the situation and present a united front to both your and his dp.
"We are doing this on x date and you are all welcome to join us". Making the decisions up front stops anyone thinking anyone else is getting special treatment.

I have already organised a day out for one of the dc's birthdays in May - this way there is no confusion or purposeful misunderstanding.
My mil tries to be #1 grandparent. She lets herself down all the time but I leave her to it. Enough rope to hang herself and all that..

ThatsMyChocolate · 11/02/2013 16:07

Thanks Squeakygate, you're probably right, it just seems wrong to plan things so far in advance - I mean DD isn't one until September - neither DH or I had really thought about anything that far ahead yet other than I'll most likely only have just gone back to work and his work's busy time is then - certainly no big family plans.

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