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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think you don't let your toddler play with noisy electic games on a packed train?

290 replies

Hammy02 · 11/02/2013 13:14

Or any train for that matter. I was on jam packed train at the weekend (no spare seats, aisle full of people standing up) and one woman was sat with her small child playing with a toy that said 'triangle', 'square' etc when the kid pressed each shape. I was a couple of seats in front & could hear it! AIBU to think this was utterly selfish of the mum? Other people were giving her the evils but she seemed oblivious.

OP posts:
Procrastinating · 12/02/2013 18:37

"Once again, for the terminally hard of thinking."

THAT looks like bad manners to me Wallison.

glossyflower · 12/02/2013 18:40

I'm bowing out of this debate now. I cant believe I've witnessed downright nastiness on this thread - and all of us are supposed to be grown ups and teach our kids to develop into well rounded individuals!
Some people on this thread just don't get it that for some people loud toys in a public area is a nuisance to some people. And I think its a real shame kids have to be constantly "entertained" with keeping their heads buried in electronic gadgets whilst out in public.
Some people think this is reasonable some don't. Some people in the world think its ok to smoke whilst pregnant, some don't, point is we all have differing opinions and we should respect each others considerations.

Procrastinating · 12/02/2013 18:52

Glossyflower, it isn't a case of respecting other views.

When you are trying to manage small children in public you get enough negative comments and raised eyebrows. We don't need other mothers to join in with the general intolerance.

I have three small children and no electronic gagets (maybe where I am going wrong!), but I would never judge another parent who was doing whatever they could to get by.

maddening · 12/02/2013 18:52

Book a seat in the quiet carriage if noise bothers you. Sorted.

NothingIsAsBadAsItSeems · 12/02/2013 19:26

Book a seat in the quiet carriage if noise bothers you. Sorted.

And again not all trains are big enough to have a quiet carriage... So not sorted

PacificDogwood · 12/02/2013 19:32

Earplugs?

Grin

HTH

MechanicalTheatre · 12/02/2013 19:35

Procrastinating So it doesn't matter what you need to do to keep your child quiet, even if it annoys others?

Great! My children can only sleep if they have Iron Maiden playing at full blast for 8 hours a night. And I'm moving in next door to you! I'm so glad that you will be understanding of their needs. See ya soon.

Procrastinating · 12/02/2013 19:48

Of course it matters, but there are huge variations in what annoys others.
See the poster with the man annoyed by Topsy & Tim (I think) for example.

A toy that says 'square' and 'triangle' is not 8 hours of Iron Maiden. My children prefer Metallica anyway.

Wallison · 12/02/2013 19:51

I think beeping and electronic voices annoy most people.

NothingIsAsBadAsItSeems · 12/02/2013 19:53

In fact fine let your child play its loud annoying game. I'll drown it out with V. loud Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy Me song which you will be able to hear in all its glory - and no you can't complain as it's my way of keeping me entertained on a train.... and I don't care about how it affects others :-)

It would be incredibly unreasonable of me to do it though which is why I wont subject anyone to annoying loud games and I expect the same common courtesy from other train users

NothingIsAsBadAsItSeems · 12/02/2013 19:57

Just in case no one has heard that song

MechanicalTheatre · 12/02/2013 19:58

Nothing yeah, from now on, should we all just play really loud music out of our phones? After all, it's normal to be loud on a train.

Fine!

Yippee! Let's all be loud and obnoxious because we can't keep quiet for 15 seconds at a time.

Wallison · 12/02/2013 20:09

Actually, 'there are huge variations in what annoys others', so I think next time I'm on a train I'll go and take a big old dump on the table. After all, not everyone will be annoyed by that - it's a statistical FACT.

MechanicalTheatre · 12/02/2013 20:18

Yes. And from now on, I am going to talk loudly about my sex life, my anal sex life, on public transport, because that's not going to annoy everyone.

"Yeah? Yeah it's me. Just going home to get done up the tradesman's. Yeah. Yeah. Nah, there's only two of them today."

PrideOfChanur · 12/02/2013 20:19

As a parent you can't win.I had to travel regularly with DS when he was little - we would read books,and talk.DS talks all the time,and in spite of our best efforts to quieten him down he is loud.He was loud as a small child too,and I'm sure he annoyed other people.
If I'd been able to poll the commuters giving us dirty looks,I reckon an electronic toy might have been preferable to DS's thoughts interspersed with my reading Bouncy Babies go to the Gym,or whatever it was.
How are you supposed to know what will annoy the smallest number of fellow travellers?
And there is a difference between an adult doing their thing on a crowded train,and annoying other people,and a parent trying to keep a small child reasonably happy in what is a horrible enviroment.YANBU to be annoyed by an adult,but I think YABU about someone entertaining a small child with a toy,even an irritating one.

MechanicalTheatre · 12/02/2013 20:22

Well I would never give anyone evils.

I don't know what the problem is with taking a non-annoying toy on a train.

skratta · 12/02/2013 20:26

Better to have 'Square' repeatedly hundreds of times then a tantrumming toddler who could probably scream the train down if they wanted. I would have hoped the people on the train would appreciate that that parent was trying to annoy as little people as possible, and keep her child happy, and it's hard to do that.

OTheHugeManatee · 12/02/2013 20:29

Non-annoying toys on trains, fine.

This toy sounded pretty annoying.

NothingIsAsBadAsItSeems · 12/02/2013 20:32

And there is a difference between an adult doing their thing on a crowded train,and annoying other people,and a parent trying to keep a small child reasonably happy in what is a horrible environment

Not really, the choices you make have an impact on those around you. The only difference is the claim that your childs need to have a loud annoying toy (as opposed to a quiet one) are more important than the needs of your fellow travelers :-)

usualsuspect · 12/02/2013 20:34

When did MN get so bloody horrible?

Yuk to some of the posters on this thread.

Wallison · 12/02/2013 20:36

See, I just don't buy it that the only options are either "triangle" repeated over and over for three hours, or tantrums. Surely there are children on this planet who do not tantrum even if they can't hear "triangle" every three seconds? Or am I raising a freak?

MechanicalTheatre · 12/02/2013 20:36

What, like the ones that think you can make as much noise as you like as long as it's in the name of entertaining your child?

usualsuspect · 12/02/2013 20:37

You are the perfect mother Wallison, well done you.

NothingIsAsBadAsItSeems · 12/02/2013 20:37

No Wallison you're not raising a freak, we don't need loud toys when out either

usualsuspect · 12/02/2013 20:38

No like the ones who make nasty fucking snide remarks for the sake of it.

HTH.