Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

AIBU?

. . . to feel a bit pissy about giving someone's kid a lift

103 replies

spiritedaway · 11/02/2013 07:48

I offered as they have 2 smaller kids that were out in the cold at night for a 8 o clock pick up on foot. It's not out of my way but will make things a bit more hectic than usual! Just became aware they are rather proud themselves in a hippy type way for managing without a car and actually, compared to myself, are very well off. I will still do it, and not a biggy, but do you think if people are all preachy about not having a car or the expense that goes with it, they should accept lifts ?

OP posts:

Report

gorionine · 11/02/2013 09:42

You should name change to meanspiritedaway, sorry but you are offered and then moaned and this is not very kind. YABU!

spiritedaway · 11/02/2013 09:42

When i offered the lift i presumed they were hard up, since discovered that they choose not to drive and slate people who do run a car.. Seeker do you even know what feeling pissy means? I have never considered myself to be mean spirited but hey. . Thanks. I will ask for the thread to be moved to Am I just a Twat

OP posts:

mrsjay · 11/02/2013 09:43

YABU you offered I am sure they can wrap their kids up to walk to pick up dont be all concerned then pissed off for doing it, they didnt ask you you offered, I am not seeing what the problem is just because you are offeneded they dont have a car,

valiumredhead · 11/02/2013 09:43

Your OP is extremely mean spirited. It IS mean spirited to offer a lift and then bitch about it.

Jules666 · 11/02/2013 09:43

YANBU - I can sort of see where you're coming from. I think you offered because you thought they weren't able to afford a car of their own and then felt a bit annoyed with them slagging off people who drive but quite happy asking for lifts.

I know a couple of people who can drive but are always happy to go somewhere if someone else is driving but won't return the favour as they 'don't like driving'!

comingintomyown · 11/02/2013 09:44

YANBU

Plus I love all lift, parking, driveway related threads

usualsuspect · 11/02/2013 09:45

Do you only offer poor people lifts without being pissy about it then?

PureQuintessence · 11/02/2013 09:45

Yanbu. They ask for lifts and clearly wants to benefit from other peoples car ownership, yet they berate people for running a car?

Hypocritical nutters.

BelindaCarlisle · 11/02/2013 09:46

Yanbu.
Mind you if they choose no car then their kids will freeze.
Maybe you should have just carried on your evil polluting ways ;)

DameMargotFountain · 11/02/2013 09:46

do the family a favour and don't offer in future

i'd hate a 'friend' of mine to be slagging my values off online

seeker · 11/02/2013 09:47

They didn't ask- the Op offered.

Apparently she only offers lifts to poor people.

BelindaCarlisle · 11/02/2013 09:48

I think the "why offer if you resent it" lot ate vein unreasonable.
None of you ever do a favour thinking "this is a pita but hey". Ever? Just dream of unicorns all the time?

spiritedaway · 11/02/2013 09:48

Enjoy cominginto :) Tho apparently, IAJAT

OP posts:

scaevola · 11/02/2013 09:48

DH worked away (with the car) for several months recently. I accepted a lot of lifts which I had no means of returning in the short term, and I'm really grateful I have such generous friends.

We are trying to even it up now! And I did do a fair amount of ferrying non-related children around with mine on public transport.

Merl0t · 11/02/2013 09:48

I don't have a car either, and I guess, in a way, I am 'proud' that in a very car-orientated World we manage without one. People regularly offer me lifts and I like to think it's because they're just trying to help. It is disconcerting to read that people might offer me help and then resent me for accepting the help! . Luckily, I almost always say 'no we're fine! but thank you!". I only accept offers of lifts if it's raining.

Please don't offer help if you are going to resent giving it!

GretaGip · 11/02/2013 09:49

Should we only offer favours to the Hard Up then?

Isthisme · 11/02/2013 09:50

YANBU.
What 'values'?
The values of poncing lifts off people and being all worthy at the same time.

cuttingpicassostoenails · 11/02/2013 09:51

I understand exactly why you are feelng pissy...I have felt the same in similar circumstances. If people want to be holier than thou about their green credentials, their lack of carbon footprint and their super dooper concern for the environment while looking down their noses at we lesser mortals, that's ok.

BUT...when they then accept a lift in my car and STILL bang on about their green credentials, their lack of carbon footprint and their super dooper concern for the environment...that's when I too get just a little bit pissy!

Sophie...are you listening to me??

BelindaCarlisle · 11/02/2013 09:51

Merlot I'm afraid they probably do.

mrsjay · 11/02/2013 09:51

Should we only offer favours to the Hard Up then?

aye especially if they have little waifs who are out in the snow

spiritedaway · 11/02/2013 09:51

Oh Belinda, although you may be the actual ginger godess and are missing the point, Mumsnet is anonymous and most of the posts are about close friends and family members

OP posts:

Merl0t · 11/02/2013 09:51

ps, you never know the real reason people don't drive. My brother regularly gives lifts to a colleague with epilepsy. NObody really knows about it. An older man my family is acquainted with (not family) couldn't drive for years as he'd been done for drink driving. He didn't talk about the reason he did not drive.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

YellowDinosaur · 11/02/2013 09:52

It's not only offering lifts to poor people though is it.

I'd happily offer lifts to anyone if I was going anyway (and often taking me out of my way) regardless of how much money they have in the bank. And not expect any type of reciprocal favours - it's called being nice.

However if the people I was giving lifts to were then ranting from their moral high ground about how much better than me they were for not having a car I'd certainly be pissed off and not offer again even if I didn't have to go out of my way at all. This would, in my opinion, be worse if they could also actually afford a car / taxi ride.

If that makes me mean spirited then fine. OP YAB a bit U because you did offer but in your shoes I'd be pissed off too.

BelindaCarlisle · 11/02/2013 09:52

Agree with scave that you can always repay lifts. We are embroiled into various sports car shares and i try to get head by offering all the time to be in credit. :)

AThingInYourLife · 11/02/2013 09:52

No, I get you, they're like those assholes that give up buying cigarettes.

But still fucking smoke.

And depend upon the fact that other people will still be buying them and that it is polite to offer.

I think it is extremely mean-spirited to refuse to run a car but allow other people to put themselves out to provide you with the comforts of car travel.

I walk everywhere local, and I always refuse lifts. Because I don't see why my preference for walking everywhere should mean friends have to give me lifts just because it is rainy or cold.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.