Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't know what to think - aibu?

31 replies

takingcharge13 · 10/02/2013 20:33

I have namechanged, I can't stop thinking about this.

I have no children. I was at a friend's yesterday and some other friends joined us for lunch with their DS who is about 8 and their DD who I think is about 6. There was a salad, cold meats, buffet style and the father of the children gave each of the children a lot of food and the DD wasn't eating a lot of it, especially the salad. After a bit of getting upset from the DD, the father hoved her head back and forced a bit of tomato in her mouth. She was understandably very distressed and then vomited Sad

Neither the mother or the father seemed worried, they just kept saying things like "she won't eat a thing, really fussy eater, oh she eats chocolate all right." The DD's brother kept laughing at her and kept parroting his parents, saying "She doesn't eat red or green stuff" and calling her the Michelin man and other derogatory comments. The DD wasn't fat, not a skinny kid but not a fat one either.

This isn't normal family behaviour, or is it?

OP posts:
Jacksterbear · 10/02/2013 20:35

Shock no.

INeedThatForkOff · 10/02/2013 20:35

No. Poor girl, that's horrible Sad

Eebahgum · 10/02/2013 20:35

Nope, I don't think that's normal behaviour. Poor girl. I wonder where they think her issues with food came from because they clearly don't think it has anything to do with them. X

gordyslovesheep · 10/02/2013 20:35

no - it's abusive

ShhHesAsleep · 10/02/2013 20:36

Er no, that way yonder an eating disorder lies.

Poor girl.

CajaDeLaMemoria · 10/02/2013 20:37

That's terrible...

My sister and I were forcefed food by our father. They tried to make it a joke too, blaming our fussiness or proclaiming us to be abnormal...and if we threw it up, they'd make us eat that too. All it's done is give both of us very deep-seated issues with food.

You'd do the girl a huge favour if you could mention this to someone who might be able to help. I wish somebody had for me.

ThreeBeeOneGee · 10/02/2013 20:38

Not normal family behaviour in my experience. One of my children is a 'fussy eater' due to sensory problems related to his Asperger's. He is also underweight and having supplementary drinks on the advice of the paediatrician. I have never forced food into his mouth, and I imagine it would do more harm than good.

Beamur · 10/02/2013 20:39

That's a truly horrible thing to do to a child.

Original poster
takingcharge13 · 10/02/2013 20:39

Thanks, I didn't think it was but sometimes it is just really hard to tell from a snapshot. The DS has Aspergers and I think the DD ends up being the family kicking object Sad but it's hard to know who to talk to.

OP posts:
Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 10/02/2013 20:40

That isn't normal!!!! No wonder she's fussy if everything's shoved down her neck like that.

AllDirections · 10/02/2013 20:41

Not normal at all, that's really horrible Sad

WhichIsBest · 10/02/2013 20:43

That is horrible and I don't know what you could do about it but I hope there is something you can do? Report it to someone? It sounds very distressing. :(

yaimee · 10/02/2013 21:33

Oh caja that's awful.
And no op yanbu, it's cruel horrible behaviour and they are going to give their poor daughter massive issues in the future.

glamourousgranny42 · 10/02/2013 21:38

That's awful. My mum force fed me because I was a fussy eater and didn't eat much at all. I didn't have food isuues then but I did after she had finished with me. I know parents worry about what their children eat but this is not the way to deal with it.

BattlingFanjos · 10/02/2013 21:54

oP I know its hard but imo you seriously need to thi k about reporting these people. Call the nspcc for some advice, if they feel its worth reporting to social care they will tell you. They are very understanding and will ask all questions needed. I know its hard as they might link you to the report but think of the things this poor child is going through. I've reported someone before and the family are now getting the help they need.

BubblegumPie · 10/02/2013 22:04

Yes, please ring NSPCC OP. Poor girl needs someone looking out for her.

quoteunquote · 10/02/2013 22:54

what Caja said.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 10/02/2013 22:58

Definately NSPCC. That is horrifying.

FrothyDragon · 10/02/2013 23:04

That's not normal. :( That poor girl.

magimedi · 10/02/2013 23:07

Horrific. Very disturbing & I think I'd also go down the lines of reporting this.

If the parents are force feeding the child when out, WTF do you think they might be doing at home?

And the response of the brother is worrying - he (& I am not blaming him) was not worried by this force feeding & vomiting? Indicates to me that he's seen far worse already.

I really hope you can help this poor child.

ComradeJing · 10/02/2013 23:14

Oh the poor child :( Yanbu, sadly.

Aspiemum2 · 10/02/2013 23:22

That poor child, I'm all for minding my own but in this case I think you have to act. Their attitude along with what they did suggests this girl is definitely a victim of abuse Sad

badtemperedaldbitch · 10/02/2013 23:24

Help her

Icelollycraving · 11/02/2013 01:18

Fuck. That is abuse.
If this is their public behaviour I would be very worried what on earth happens in private :( Angry

Borntobeamum · 11/02/2013 07:38

Did you not say anything?!
Surely you know that that sort of behaviour is damaging?
I'd have ripped into the parents big time if only to let the little girl know someone cared.