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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to always play with my children!

19 replies

tigerfrog · 10/02/2013 15:15

I have two lovely DD's 4 and 7 who generally I do not have any problems with but do I have to always play! It's a lovely sunny day out there they have each other to play with so why do I have to be involved in the teddy bear's picnic, bounce on the trampoline and watch the million different shows they put on in a day! I am feeling a bit rough today and just want to curl up but I am being whinged at to play. Do you all play with your children all the time? Can they amuse themselves?

OP posts:
JeezyOrangePips · 10/02/2013 15:16

Yes, at that age of course they can play themselves, some of the time.

Just be firm.

JeezyOrangePips · 10/02/2013 15:18

Ooh that sounded patronising, sorry! I mean you just have to stick to your guns, don't give in - if you do they will pester you every time.

Ragwort · 10/02/2013 15:18

Love to know where you are if you're having a lovely sunny day Grin.

I sympathise as I was never one for 'playing' with my DS - happy to read or play a board game but absolutely hopeless at anything 'imaginative'.

Your comment is interesting as everyone used to tell me 'to have another child so that they can play together Grin.'

Can you just be honest, say that you need some quiet time to yourself and they mustn't disturb you. or bribe them.

sparkle12mar08 · 10/02/2013 15:30

I loathe 'playing' with my children in general. I love doing family activities or doing specific things with them (craft, reading, board games, whatever), but the playing make-believe and driving cars on the car mat etc drives me stark raving nuts with boredom. It's shit, lets be honest!

tigerfrog · 10/02/2013 15:38

I am so glad I am not the only one! They have now given up and are painting with water and bubbles in the garden!
Ragwort, sorry we are not in the uk so the beautiful sunny day is not unusual in February!

OP posts:
EarlyInTheMorning · 10/02/2013 15:40

A sunny day Confused. Where!?
You just need to remind them that the whole pint of having DD2 was that she could play with DD1. Your work is done Grin

Taffeta · 10/02/2013 15:40

I am not a fan of playing either TBH. My parents rarely played with me. They have each other to play with, it's why I had 2.

I will play occasionally if it involves something I like or need to do anyway, eg helping me with cooking etc. "let's play laying the table. I'll pass you the cutlery and you put it out" etc. I like word games, we play those in bed sometimes. I like reading to them, and will play the odd game of Jenga or Happy Families, i will draw a bit with them and he write a story, but watching shows and playing with the dollies, getting involved in craft projects makes me die inside a little bit.

EarlyInTheMorning · 10/02/2013 15:40

pint = point

Meglet · 10/02/2013 15:43

I don't do playing either. Reading, cooking, tidying and days out I'm fine with, but don't ask me to play.

Unless it's to assist with Lego building or making an extra long playdoh worm, I'm good at them.

Spookey80 · 10/02/2013 15:49

I'm the same. I do do it, but I seem not to be able to wait until its over.
I do cooking, craft, reading and tend to go out with them every day, as I'm just better out! I have two and they are just staring to play together, so that helps.
I would say 'don't fell bad about it', but I feel bad about it often myself!

tigerfrog · 10/02/2013 15:54

Most days I can handle it but today I just can't bear the thought of having to sit in the play house being feed fake carrots and cake!
I can hear them talking together in the garden about why mummy won't play today

OP posts:
nethunsreject · 10/02/2013 15:56

I think it's totally fair to want a bit of peace, particularly if you play with them a lot. Snuggle yourself up, tell them mummy is poorly (use blanket if necessary!) and relax for a bit. This is WHY people have more than one kid after all. . . Wink

thebody · 10/02/2013 15:57

No tell them to play with each other or invent a game by themselves.

I think parents who constantly play with their children are stifling their imagination and interfering with their development. That gives me a good reason to he a lazy arse as well so result.

quoteunquote · 10/02/2013 17:34

If every time your children want you to join in their games, you get them to join in your chores, then it amazing how low a profile they then keep.

four year olds are just the right hight to scrub down the fronts of kitchen cupboards use ecover washing up liquid then you know it's safe, be fussy about standards,

if the seven year old mops the floor the four year old can use an old towel to dry,

and seven year olds are very good at carrying washing upstairs and putting it on the right beds four year olds are just the right hight to pull items out of the washing machine.

the Amish think we are very cruel, because we don't teach our children the jobs in life until later, toddlers start off with having to find twigs and keep the kindling baskets full, it consider a great honour to be trusted to do a job,

mine earn the right to jobs, so they do them with pride, and they know different, they are great cooks, and are able to do most things without supervision, resentment, or reminders.

but in this house you keep yourself busy or someone will allocate you tasks.

Charliefox · 10/02/2013 18:02

Got me thinking about about my childhood. I honestly can't remember my parents ever playing with me. Reading, building stuff, etc, yes, but never just playing. Same with friends parents. Just used to get told to go and play on the motorway with the cars or with the crocodiles in the zoo! Had a totally normal childhood but there was no expectation on parents back then to constantly entertain their kids.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 10/02/2013 18:56

I used to play for hours when mine were little, boring sometimes, repetitive often, but its part of being a parent isn't it.

willesden · 10/02/2013 19:01

I find a bit of play earns me some quiet time to myself. However, still haven't forgiven DP for buying DD7 a 'create your own handprint' plaster of paris kit in Tesco this morning. What was he thinking, ffs. And MIL drops of some leftover pastry 'so DD can bake cookies'. You bake cookies with her I need a nap.

exoticfruits · 10/02/2013 19:03

Benign neglect is good for them-you don't always have to play.

Saski · 10/02/2013 19:07

I could have written this post.

I HATE playing. Building a lego something or other could move me to tears.

Parents playing with kids is a modern invention, and they'll be fine without it. They need you to facilitate their play, which is quite different. I always tried to settle my kids in the kitchen with their toys and narrate their play as I cooked or cleaned or ironed or whatever.

Suggestion: puzzles are fun. That's the one play thing I can manage.

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