To tell my 5 yr old DS his birthday is a day before it really is?

[Cyclefaster]

So I have to go away for work and this means I go away on his 5th birthday :(( no choice unfortunately. I was thinking to tell him him its the day before his actual birthday, so then I am there, we can do presents, cake etc and have a special day. AIBU.

My mum did this to me when I was three, I think five is a bit old. I would have a big party on the day you are there, then get whoever is looking after him to do something on the day, even if it just go into school with treats for his friends. Mine always have their parties on different days (weekends ) than their birthday, then we just have a small cake and a singsong on the day.

Can't see why not, as long as no one else will tell him. Where will he be on his birthday though? Will the school or whoever has him know it's his birthday and tell him?

Or you could just tell him you will celebrate his birthday on the day before.

We did this all the time, moving birthdays till it is convenient. Thats the trouble with school though - they get to know dates!

Do what you know to be best OP ... an early birthday and everyone is happy

Personally no. Have the cards and pressies from you a day early if you wish ( save something for the actual day) but I don't see the need to alter the date.

I know it's hard being away but honestly they cope - my DS's have a DP who works away a lot and he tries to be home for actual birthdays but there has been times when it was not possible. The children handled it all ok especially with DP promising them a family meal out on his return.

Have a birthday week.

Yes. Am thinking of just being honest with him. Just explain I am away for work, but he will have two birthdays. One day before with me and then he is at Granny's on his birthday with his sister. Aargh I feel really bad about this :(

I think you are overblowing this, my husband works away, as do I from time to time, and whilst we always make sure the children have a great party with their friends, the actual day is just whoever is there (mostly only one of us), with a cake and a quick singsong. I don't think if you make a fuss, he will bother, most children have to go to school on their birthdays anyway, and it will be great fun for his Granny do to a little tea party and buy a cake.

Ah ha Mumsy, I am a over thinker! Thanks for all your replies. I will just be nhs nest and he can have two special days xx

an.....

I wouldn't lie about the date, but there is nothing wrong with having a family "birthday party" on a different day. Make it a birthday week, and do something special when you return as well.

Aaaggghh predictive text! How can ' just be honest' become nhs nest!!!!

I quite like that substitute, lol!

Weirdly, I am nurse so maybe I do provide an NHS nest???

OP - you got it. I also think 5 is a bit old - he will know. Tell him the truth and have the party / big cake or whatever on a day you're here, but I think you will find that you'll have to let him have his cards and presents from others on the 'right day'

You don't need to feel bad.

I have done this before eeek had no choice it would of ment his birthday spent on a plane for 7 hours not really much fun so i told him it was the day after we touched down we had a blast

Don't beat yourself up over it. Just let him have two special days. Our DS is a Christmas Day baby and so many people told us to have a "birthday" a week before or a week after because it was so unfair. We didn't. His birthday is his birthday is his birthday. He's 18 now and is OK about it; although would prefer it on a different day. Shouldn't have come a month early we tell him - not our fault

Don't lie, there isn't the need.

Do the party or special tea, cake amd yoir gift or whatever on the day you are there and make a fuss of him. Then on his actual birthday he can open cards and other gifts and basically gets two 'special' days.