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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to spend my 30th birthday doing charity work?

22 replies

PrincessTeacake · 09/02/2013 21:06

I'm turning 30 soon and loads of my friends have been asking if I'm having a party or some sort of celebration. I'm not that bothered about a party, my best friend lives overseas and my family are scattered all over the country. My other friends tend to have conflicting schedules too.

However, I want to mark the occasion somehow so I hit upon the idea of doing some charity work, maybe visiting sick kids in one of my costumes, orsetting up a tea party and encouraging my ffriends to donate money rather than buy me anything. I'd still get to spend the day with my loved ones and I'd be doing good. Those are the two ideas I have, if anyone has any other suggestions I'd be grateful.

OP posts:

SkinnybitchWannabe · 09/02/2013 21:07

That all sounds great. Good for you, it's your birthday so do whatever you like.

yaimee · 09/02/2013 21:09

Yep, do U what U like! Earn a halo!

Alittlestranger · 09/02/2013 21:16

If you want to do some charity work do some charity work, maybe more regularly than every 30 years. Otherwise your plan sounds a bit me, me, me; but you are of course entitled to spend your birthday how you wish.

HollyBerryBush · 09/02/2013 21:23

in one of my costumes

you cant leave a threaad hanging there .... costumes? do tell

lurkedtoolong · 09/02/2013 21:28

While it's a really nice idea to do something for charity, think about the work it might create for other people. It might sound fun for you to turn up in a costume for sick kids(!) but would this be at a hospital or a nursery? Would they even want you there?

Maybe donating something to a favoured charity would be better.

KeepingCalmAndPostingNicely · 09/02/2013 21:29

It's the 'costumes' that frighten me. What costumes? If you're dressing up as a blood stained headless vision of the undead it may not go down as well as, say, a flower decked fairy. With a halo.

Original poster

PrincessTeacake · 09/02/2013 21:44

My internet crapped out on me midway through my lsst post, I have a lot of Disney princess dresses and I've done charity work in them before, they always get a great reaction from kids. And of course I'd call ahead and not just turn up in full codtume demanding to see the children.

OP posts:

yousankmybattleship · 09/02/2013 21:47

Oh those lucky sick kids getting to see you in one of you costumes.....

Original poster

PrincessTeacake · 09/02/2013 21:56

Cannot tell if sarcasm so ill just say thanks?

OP posts:

yousankmybattleship · 09/02/2013 22:01

Of course its not sarcasm. All any sick kid wants to see is a 30 year old dressed as a disney princess.

Mumsyblouse · 09/02/2013 22:02

I think it all sounds slightly odd, because the princess thing sounds like you want to be the centre of attention, and that's not really the point of charity work. If you genuinely want to do something charitable, I'm not sure that's compatible with wearing attention-seeking costumes, everyone taking photos and it being your special day.

I would just have a princess party and invite your friends (who can borrow your spare costumes)!

Alittlestranger · 09/02/2013 22:02

Why do you have these costumes OP??

Original poster

PrincessTeacake · 09/02/2013 22:18

I'm a cosplayer, I've made and worn them mostly for competitions so Id have had them anyway, most of my friends have pretty similar stuff but I've got a big nostalgia yen so I do a lot of princessy characters (also, big dresses are easy to make.) But I'd draw pictures and play with the kids too, the aim is to brighten uo their day unexpectedly which I could still do in plain clothes, but since I have the costumes I figure I might as well use them.

What else could I do? I'm going to ask people to donate towards my chosen charity in lieu of gifts, but I'm still kind of expected to have a shindig of some sort.

OP posts:

SisyphusDad · 09/02/2013 22:19

There's a tradition in parts of the Buddhist world to give others presents on your birthday. I did it year before last (last year was a catastrophe so didn't do anything.)

Your idea sounds brilliant - will think about it for this coming year.

HollyBerryBush · 09/02/2013 22:23

Do you live alone and possibly own a cat or ten?

lurkedtoolong · 09/02/2013 22:25

I really think people who just turn up and do one day's charity work creating extra work for the organisation involved are really quite self-obsessed. For you it's phoning in advance, for the hospital (or wherever) it's presumably a lot of work in organising an event, getting parents' permission for a stranger to turn up, sorting out paperwork etc just so you can flounce around in your big dress and have a shindig for your birthday.

If you want to volunteer for a charity that's brilliant but do it properly, find out what's needed and make a commitment. Don't just turn up when it suits you.

Have a party, go out for a drink or stay at home and watch the TV for your birthday. Do what ever you want to do to celebrate your day, not what you think other people think you should do.

ChestyNut · 09/02/2013 22:29

Nice holly

LinusVanPelt · 09/02/2013 22:29

Wow there's a lot of meanness on this thread.

I agree that the OP's original idea has some problems, but she did post asking for feedback on it. It's possible to suggest a better way to go about it without trying to make her feel small or silly for asking.

Sorry no suggestions OP, but it is nice that you want to give something for your birthday instead of just receive. I work for a charity, and it's true that one-day volunteers sometimes require more resources (someone to show them around, supervise, follow up, etc) than they bring. I think that a fundraising effort might be the best way to really make a positive contribution.

Latara · 09/02/2013 22:30

Have a nice meal & drinks out with your friends actually on your 30th (that will keep them happy). Choose a charity that they can donate to instead of buying presents.

Then make a resolution to start some kind of charity work / volunteering after your 30th birthday.

Try joining your local general hospital volunteers service, they are usually very useful to staff because they can help out the ward hostesses with teas & meals, feed infirm patients, work in the hospital cafe or charity shop to raise money for appeals etc etc.
You will probably need a CRB check & to complete a food hygiene certificate to be a volunteer.

Flobbadobs · 09/02/2013 22:33

Why not have party that incorporates fund raising? Instead of presents or cards ask for donations to a local hospice or charity. Do a fun run during the day and have a do at night, all proceeds to your charity.

Original poster

PrincessTeacake · 09/02/2013 22:43

Only two cats so far, I'll keep you posted if more turn up. I don't live alone, I have moderate to severe fibromyalgia which gives me mobility issues. Its part of the reason I wanted to work with sick kids, I was a sick kid and I'd have loved for someone to dress up and make a fuss of me. However if it would cause problems for the hospital staff I ll rethink it.

I already do a fair amount of charity work, but I could ddfinitely be doing more, I need to be more organized and less fixated on hare-brained schemes, Lataras ideareally appeals to me. Thanks for the advice.

OP posts:

Latara · 09/02/2013 22:50

That's ok, enjoy your 30th whatever you do.

BTW everyone there's nothing wrong in living alone with a cat like me ahem.

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