to refuse to contribute to honeymoon?

[Sallyingforth]

My cousin has lived with her boyfriend for a few years, but they have split up and got together again a few times. They have now decided to marry. She told me (after a few drinks) that the marriage is an attempt to strengthen their relationship.
I've just got an invitation to the wedding which sounds quite lavish. They say they don't want any presents but we are welcome to contribute to their honeymoon in the Seychelles.
I don't think the marriage is going to last long and don't see why I should help pay for their expensive holiday. AIBU?

Well if you are going to the wedding just give them what you would have spent on a wedding gift in cash.

For me that would be about £30.

Woohoo! A wedding thread!

YABU. You're invited to contribute to the honeymoon only, it's not like they expect a present too. Contribute and have a good time at the 'lavish' wedding and keep your judgey pants hidden under the new frock you'll be on here moaning about having to buy next.

Not to give a present because you think the wedding won't last is off imo.

How did they ask for money? If you don't like the request then give a gift

So what will you do? Not get them anything? That's quite normal these days.
Good luck to them trying to sort things.

Well if you don't want to contribute to their honeymoon then don't! No-one's going to force you so I really don't see what the problem is.

As for I don't think the marriage is going to last long....nice

I think it would be very hypocritical to attend the wedding if your feelings are running so high you can't bring yourself to give them a present/money. Are you planning to go?

you sound like an absolute charmer

YABU. Not to mention a shit cousin.

Thanks for the comments :)
I'm sceptical about the wedding because she seems to regard it as a sticking plaster on a broken relationship, rather than the beginning of a marriage.
The invitation specifically asked for contributions to the honeymoon.
Keep moaning at me if you like. That's why I asked!

I recently went to a wedding where the word-of-mouth prefrred giftwas currency for thier honeymoon destination.

Seems quite normal to me, most people have been shacked up forever and 27 toaters aren't going to be useful.

YANBU to not want to give money, but you could be a bit more supportive....

yabu. Why go at all if you don't think it will last? Would you have bought a gift?

Has anyone ever being given 27 toasters.

All is right with the world. Wedding season on mn begins.... :o

A friend of mine was a best man at a wedding and contacted all the guests asking for a toaster on behalf of the happy couple. Told everyone it was his special job and they'd asked him to do it.

They got nearly 50 toasters.

He thought it was hysterical.

They did not.

YANBU, if they want a honeymoon then they should pay for it. I saw a post the other day re carbon footprint gifts that offset wedding day so i'd be tempted to get one of those if you plan to go.

We dont attend weddings asking for cash as its like being charged an entry fee. People should want their guests to attend to witness their vows not to recoup costs or pay for their honeymoon. Luckily family seem to have the same views as no cash requests from them.

I have never had a wedding invite where people have 'asked' for cash only ever said they do not want gifts so if you really want to get something then a donation to charity or vouchers for John Lewis/honeymoon which is fine, if people would rather not let their guests waste money on house hold things when they have often already had to condense 2 houses when they have moved in together I really can't see the issue as long as it is not expected.

If you want to contribute then do so if not then don't. I don't think the fact that you think the wedding won't last has any relevance whatsoever. Maybe they actually want to make it work hence the getting married even if it is a fairly misguided repair attempt