Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH backing out on DS lift AIBU

26 replies

Jelly15 · 08/02/2013 18:39

DS2 needed a lift to a party tonight 15 miles away and DH offered to take him to save me. Now DS1 just driven back from uni, two hour drive and said he is shattered but needs to drop of money at his friends and asked DH to do it when he is giving DS2 a lift as he would be passing the house.

DH then said well you give your brother a lift and you can put the enveople throught the door on your way. I commented, with a sigh, I should have done it myself and now DH is in a right strop with me and slammed out of the house with both DSs in the car.

Was IBU to be annoyed with DH or is he BU?

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 08/02/2013 18:42

Why did you need to get involved? Sounds like the conversation was between your DH and DSs.

mynewpassion · 08/02/2013 18:43

I think you should have kept quiet and let them work it out, which they did.

Pandemoniaa · 08/02/2013 18:43

I'm not sure quite why you got involved in the discussion at all. It was a negotiation between your DH and DS1 and up to them to fall out about. So while I can't see why adults need to go stropping and slamming out of houses, it might have been a great deal easier to leave them to disagree. There's no reason at all why you should take responsibility.

LindyHemming · 08/02/2013 18:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Annunziata · 08/02/2013 18:44

I don't understand why you got involved?

YesIamYourSisterInLaw · 08/02/2013 18:50

I can see why you got involved your husband was trying to shirk his responsibilities on to your daughter, if you hadn't have said anything she may well have let him. Not all children like to stand up to their parents

PatriciaHolm · 08/02/2013 18:50

How was he backing out?

Sorry, but I don't see he was - he suggested DS2 do it, they obviously had some discussion and he's now gone. Why did you get involved?

Original poster
Jelly15 · 08/02/2013 18:56

Originally DH was supposedly doing me a favour saving me a journey, and DS1 had just walked in the door said he was shattered after a long drive through rush hour and hasn't been home from uni since he went back from Christmas, and saw DH and DS2 putting their shoes on to go and asked his dad to drop an enevelope through a door he was passing. He hadn't even taken his coat off.

If DH didn't want to drive DS2 why did he bloddy offer in the first place

OP posts:
NatashaBee · 08/02/2013 18:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Jelly15 · 08/02/2013 18:59

Yesiam, you are right my kids are too polite to say no to their father, and he knows it.

OP posts:
Annunziata · 08/02/2013 19:01

But you still didn't need to go, and if DS1 was ready then why not?

I just don't get the big deal.

Pandemoniaa · 08/02/2013 19:02

If DH didn't want to drive DS2 why did he bloddy offer in the first place

I presume because he intended to drive your DS2 at the time he made the offer. Instead, he palmed the job off onto your DS1 because he arrived at an unfortunately inconvenient time. Still can't see why you got involved though.

AgentZigzag · 08/02/2013 19:03

What your DH said is just what you'd say to a lad at university isn't it?

Get them to do something you're not too keen on while you put your feet up next to the fire.

Your DH was doing something he wasn't too keen on to save you from doing it, but he was delegating. I know you probably wanted to see your DS and he'd drive a while, but he's not infirm and might have wanted to catch up with his brother?

What did your DS1 say? Did he mind taking his brother? He's old enough to decide for himself where he drives.

ClippedPhoenix · 08/02/2013 19:04

Your DH is acting like a total child, storming out of the house? It was on his way wasn't it?

You deserve an apology for such ridiculous behaviour.

Why was he doing you a favour, their his kids too aren't they?

Twat

Original poster
Jelly15 · 08/02/2013 19:10

DSs never ask DH for a lift because he just moans about it so they always ask me. I was happy to do it, I just thought it was really nice to he wanted to do me a favour for a change and then he wriggled out of it. And yes I was delighted to see DS1 after five weeks away and we had hardly said hello when he had to go out again. DH didn't ask him he told him to take his brother and my DSs don't answer their parents back.

OP posts:
YesIamYourSisterInLaw · 08/02/2013 19:11

Oops sorry I thought I'd read she somewhere, think my eyes are going Grin
I still maintain YANBU
Patricia he probably went because she got involved, if op hadn't this may have gone very differently

Quenelle · 08/02/2013 19:11

yanbu

AgentZigzag · 08/02/2013 19:14

They're his DC too clipped, but the OP'd said she'd take her DS2 and he said he'd do it to save her.

Although I agree the flouncing out was ridiculously OTT, unless the OP not saying what she really meant and just sighing and making cryptic sarky remarks is the norm and he can't be arsed with it?

AgentZigzag · 08/02/2013 19:16

'and my DSs don't answer their parents back'

How the fuck did you manage that?? Shock

I need to know your secret Grin

ClippedPhoenix · 08/02/2013 19:20

So Agent, what's your point? He was doing the OP a favour and a favour should be carried out gracefully or don't do it at all.

He was a knob.

AgentZigzag · 08/02/2013 19:26

He was trying to do the OP a favour clipped, but you're right, with bad grace.

But if someone was sighing at me and saying stuff like 'I should have done it myself' under their breath (?) with a bit of an eye roll (?) ('scuse me while I make bits up Grin), and was perhaps known for bringing it back up at a later time (and a few more bits), I'd probably 'Oh FFS, here we go again' at them too.

He probably was a nob, but because we don't know either of them, it's possible the OP was being a bit of a nob too.

TidyDancer · 08/02/2013 19:30

I still can't fathom why you needed to become involved.

ClippedPhoenix · 08/02/2013 19:35

I personally can't stand someone who says they'll do a favour then a tiny other thing to do on top of that sends them into a strop. It would actually make me roll my eyes right back into my head and sigh at what a baby that person was being. J'd probably add it a couple of tuts for good measure.

ClippedPhoenix · 08/02/2013 19:36

j'd = I'd
it = in

Fingers are going too fast for brain Grin

AgentZigzag · 08/02/2013 20:02

You're just soo immature Hmm

(Grin)

Swipe left for the next trending thread