to find this rude ?(MIL related!)

[vivaone]

I have been buying my MIL birthday and xmas presents for years! Today a few weeks before her birthday I receive an email saying 'my birthday list is attached, I would be grateful if you could please buy from this list as these are things that I really want...'
Am I being unreasonable to find this rude and offensive? It was an out of the blue email, I hadnt asked if there was anything she wanted for her birthday. I find it strange that an adult would sent a birthday list to someone who didn't ask for it, and also feel offended that shes basically saying dont buy me the usual crap that you do..... Have I taken offence where I shouldn't? Would appreciate your thoughts....

Perhaps she thought she was being helpful? must be missing something here since in the minority, so apols if Im being dim!

I would just forward the list to DH and let MIL know that DH will look into it. No longer your problem.

I find it very rude.

The thing that seems rude to me is not so much the unsolicited list as the fact that she's sent it to you, not her own son! I cannot imagine assuming that the spouse of my offspring, rather than my own offspring, should be buying me presents, just because she has a vagina.

We do wish lists with my family (as opposed to the pils). Butt even though we have done them for years, we don't just send them out but would wait to be asked.

I may be some kind of alien life-form, but I have no objection to this. YANBU for feeling it is perhaps a dig at your unaided gift-buying abilities, but it might well not be. To my mind it's just pragmatic.

Which reminds me, MIL's birthday is coming up. But she's quite easy to buy for (likes anything about art, plays or playwrights and so on).

Wish lists are fine if it's already an established way of doing things, or if someone has asked you what you want.

If this is the first time the MIL has given a list of things she should have worded it much more politely.

.... and that too Peevish

I think you can do it with immediate family i.e I tell DH what perfume I would like and he tells me the exact name and location of whatever gadget he wants.

However, sending a list is incredibly grabby and entitled and I'd just give her a £10 M and S gift voucher every year from now on. Frankly she should think herself lucky to even get that!

I think it can be seen as some as rude and as proactive by others tbh OP but YANBU to be surprised and a bit put out.

Just a thought though, could one of your DHs relatives requested this off her? I know my uncle and aunt were surprised to get an amazon wishlist email from my nan but we (the grandkids) had requested it because no one ever knows what to buy her yet she loves, wants and collects some DVDs. The wishlist sorted that issue but they were surprised and put out to get like you were because they'd not asked for one. We all had however and she thought everyone wanted it, not just us.

I think you're overreacting, would you rather buy her something she doesn't want for her birthday or something she does want? Surely the whole idea is that you buy her something you want her to be happy with? She's just making it easier all round!