To feel upset on behalf of my son

[welshinexile]

I will keep this brief- my son started reception in sept- he has done really well as he didnt know anyone and a lot of the kids in his class went to nursery together so had established groups of friends.

He had 6 school friends to his birthday party along with some other mates. I have had a few of the kids in his class back to play and he has been to a couple of plays at friends too.

He told me yesterday that one of the kids he is friends with who came to his party and whose house he has been to recently said to him ' you arent invited to my birthday party, sorry'

My son is upset obviously as other kids are going but he said that its ok as this kid said sorry and that he still wants to be his friend even though he isnt going to his party.

I am a bit upset, probably more than my son to be fair as it kind of feels like this has probably come from the parents rather than the child.

How do you deal with these kinds of situations? I feel like its me back in the playground!!

Your son only had six children to his party? So some children in the class did not come. Try to remember this is the same situation for the other little boy, and your son is one of those who isn't coming. It isn't a snub at all.

Yea, he only invited his close friends, of which this boy is one of them! But yes, you are right, I didnt see it like that!!

Unfortunately not everyone can manage a whole class party. You didn't, so don't take it personally that someone else isn't either. Quite frankly I'm pretty bored of the idea that a child should be invited to another's birthday party because they were invited themselves. Whilst it sucks as a parent to think that our child is being snubbed, as an adult we don't automatically expect to be invited to, for example, work colleagues parties. Surely school only serves to provide the same sorts pf relationships for children that work offers adults.

I know these things can be really emotional welshinexile especially when I am hormonal

Don't take it personally.
It is not a snub.

Whilst your child thinks they are close mates with this child - the parents of the child may not realise they are close/ can only invite a certain amount of children/ perhaps have lots of cousins and family friends so only a few school mates get invites/ basically you don't know how they made their decisions on who to invite but I doubt it was to piss your or your son off.

Enjoy the party-free weekend.