AIBU not to go on DSis's hen do?

[vicky228]

DSis is considering going to Croatia for her hen do - plan would be for three full days there (over a bank holiday), obviously plus the travel on the days either side. I love DSis to bits and I do want to help her celebrate her upcoming marriage but... I really don't want to go away for that long!

I have three children, the youngest of whom is not yet one, and DH works quite long hours and has limited holidays so tbh I'd rather spend the time with them. DH has said he's happy to look after the kids while I'm away and that I shouldn't worry about the cost (will be an expensive trip but we can afford it) and I'm on maternity leave at the moment so holiday time isn't an issue. It's just a priority thing that weekends together are precious enough, let alone best part of 5 days.

DSis doesn't have children and afaik nor do any of her friends (although I don't know them so I could be wrong). I'm sure she would be very understanding if I said I couldn't go, but I don't want to disappoint her. Am I being selfish and overly precious about family time here?

YANBU. But only because I wouldn't be able to leave my children for that long without feeling that tug in the pit of my stomach, and I know that I'd be racked with anxiety for weeks beforehand about leaving them.

But maybe it's something I should get better at doing. One day. Not right away.

I would really like to go to Croatia one day, though.

Thanks for all your encouragement - and the update is that I'm going! And having made the decision, I'm now really happy with it and hugely looking forward to travelling with no kids and minimal luggage, let alone a few days of adult only company and sunshine.

Perhaps more importantly, I'm really pleased to be doing this for/with DSis. It's only going to get harder to spend time together, especially if she has children too, so I'm glad I bit the bullet. Feel like I made the decision to put her first and ended up putting myself first too. Poor DH bears the brunt

Personally, hen do's are not obligatory... especially fucking themed ones where everyone has to dress up like a twat.

Weddings are slightly different, it you're family.

YANBU.

I'm so glad you are going.
This will probably (hopefully) be a one time thing.
She won't have another hen do like this but you'll have plenty more weekends with your lovely family.
Have a great time - I'm sure you will! Enjoy!

I'd go in your shoes too. Hope it's great!

YANBU I wouldn't go.