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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be sick of being treated like scum just because I have the misfortune of being on the dole at the moment.

16 replies

BacardiNCoke · 07/02/2013 13:13

Grrrrrrr.

I'm on a mandatory course which the jobcentre sent me on. I usually do Tuesdays and Wednesdays. A few weeks ago we were asked by one of the tutors if we could do Wednesdays and Thursdays because they were struggling to get funding and may have to close on Mondays and Tuesdays. No problem we all say, Ok, he says, next week come in Wednesday and Thursday.

So the following week on the Tuesday I get an irate phone call from the receptionist at the college demanding to know where I am. So I tell her we've all been told to come in Wednesday and Thursday. No one told her she says. So anyway I go in on the Wednesday and Thursday and speak to the tutor. He says we're now to come in Tuesday and Wednesday like we did at first.

Following so far? (Because I'm fucking confused now). So this week I turn up on Tuesday only to find the place fucking closed! No one has bothered to let me know (or the other people standing outside either). So I went in yesterday and it was open, apparently we should have had a phone call to let us know.

Now whilst all this swapping and changing is going on, I'm having to cancel and rearrange appointments for my dd1 so I can still go on the course. DD1 is autistic and has dyslexia, I'm about to start the ball rolling to get her a statement. I've already rearranged twice. I now have an appointment for her tomorrow, she also has a paediatrician appointment this morning which I have also rearranged once because of the swapping around of days.

So yesterday I told the tutor that I wouldn't be able to come in today or tomorrow because of these appointments that I had already rearranged because of them swapping around my days. He said that was no problem. This morning I got another irate phone call from the receptionist demanding to know where I was because I was supposed to be in. FFS. Now I've also got my advisor from the jobcentre on my back because they've fucked me about so much she thinks I've just not turned up.

Now I know there are people who will just not turn up on this course for no reason. But I'm not one of them. I try to be as flexible as possible, I am always early, never leave until we're told we can go. Never just not turn up, I'm polite and friendly and keep my head down. I didn't even have a moan when they didn't bother telling anyone they would be closed. So why am I being giving loads of shit because I actually have a life with things I need to do. Why is their time so much more important than mine just because they happen to be fucking luckier than me and they have a job? I can't keep messing around with doctors appointments and getting this statement because their oh so much more important than me!

Am going through so much fucking shit atm, my DSD is being forced to move out tonight, we don't want to her go, she doesn't want too. The circumstances are fucking shit, we're going to have to move house. There's going to be fucking psychopath knocking about around the corner. I've just come to terms with dd1 being autistic and then I find out she's dyslexic. I've got no fucking money, can barely afford to feed myself and DH after the kids are fed, yet these bastards some how think they're better than me. My self esteem is at rock bottom, job rejection after fucking job rejection. I feel like going asleep and not waking up for a good few years.

OP posts:

MurderOfGoths · 07/02/2013 13:19

Oh sweetheart, you are having a rough time at the moment :( It's really not fair. They need to get their shit together. Is your local MP any good? It might be worth writing to them and getting them to breathe fire down the jobcentres neck.

RedHotRudieParts · 07/02/2013 13:23

Wankers !!

Op, are you getting carers allowance for your dd ?? Because if you are you'll be exempt from having to go on these courses, take a breather for a while if you can.

ComposHat · 07/02/2013 13:24

I know it is horrible, I've been on the dole a few times, I was single at the time so didn't have all the other stuff to deal with that you are going through. I can only express sympathy and hope that things get better soon.

tinyelf · 07/02/2013 13:27

Have you looked into getting DLA for your dd1? It is quite an effort (a long detailed form to fill in) but if it gets awarded at middle/higher rate, you can then claim Carers Allowance plus income support as a Carer. This recognises the fact that you have additional caring duties (such as dr appointments and statementing) so there is no requirement to seek work/go on courses. (Though they do call you in about twice a year for a routine appointment, but if you tell them you're not in a position to work due to caring, they can't force you to seek work and can't impose any sanctions on you.)

You would get additional payments as well, so it would help with your financial situation and sometimes the DLA is a passport to charity funding such as Family Fund.

There is a really good guide to filling out the form on the Cerebra website. You don't need to wait until your dd gets an official diagnosis, it's based on her care/mobility needs at this time.

Rotkehlchen · 07/02/2013 13:28

Anyone who can deal with all that you are going through is WAY better than some jobsworth who doesn't have the intelligence to get their story straight before they start criticising.

I don't blame you for having a vent. They are idiots. Ignore them.

MsVestibule · 07/02/2013 13:31

Ah, what an awful time you're having. No, YANBU, they should give you the dates so everybody can make their childcare arrangements etc, then stick to them.

In a few years, you will look back at this period in your life and think "shit, that was bad", but by then you'll have a good job and be eating fillet steak every night. Cooked by your personal chef.

((Hugs))

LadyBeagleEyes · 07/02/2013 13:34

Oh, Op, I feel for you.
Jobsworths is what so many of them are, and the worse thing is it's your word against them, so they could stop your benefits if you don't go along with their criteria.
Being on benefits is so hard, I have no advice re your dd, but there's some good advice here.
Good luck

tinygreendragon · 07/02/2013 13:42

I am currently also on the dole and like you I find the whole process so frustrating.

There are so many different organisations involved (DWP, Jobcentre, National Careers Service even Monster are now involved etc) especially when these mandatory courses come in to play and no-one seems to talk to each other and I can never get the same answer if I ask different people the same question. The system is broken, they've just piled one 'new and improved' system one on top of another and no-one seems to know what is going on.

I've only been on their system since Oct and I've spent more time shuttling back and forth to various different offices and these mandatory courses than actually looking for a job which defeats the object. All the while being spoken to as if I am not giving enough effort to my jobsearch. Its disheartening :(

WireCatWhore · 07/02/2013 13:46

I've seen your other thread. You poor thing.
It's shit.
Is there anyone you can complain to about being messed around?
x

LadyBeagleEyes · 07/02/2013 13:55

The problem WireCatWhore is no, if you're on the dole there's no one to complain to.
You're already the lowest of the low, and if you muddy the waters and the status quo, they may come down harder on you.
It really is the crappest place to be.

WireCatWhore · 07/02/2013 14:02

It is shit.
I was on the dole for 6 months last year.
When I claimed I felt like scum.
Why can't these people see "we" are human.

Hullygully · 07/02/2013 14:02

poor poor you

unfortunately it is about nothing than ticking boxes and quotas.

If I were you, if you can stand it, turn what you have written here detailing the messing about into a letter and give it to your jobseeker advisor so it's on record.

Lovelygoldboots · 07/02/2013 14:12

Writing a detailed letter is good advice. If you have it in black and white on paper then it can stop them fucking you about. Send it to a named person and put the phrase "I await your considered response" at the end. Then they'll have to write back. Good luck, don't let the bastards grind you down.

RedPencils · 07/02/2013 14:25

Try not to take it personally, its the procedure and process which is shit.

Definitely write a letter about them mucking you around with days though. A good rant on paper will make you feel better and thy have written evidence if they decide to get arsey later

Good luck with the job hunting. P

CecilyP · 07/02/2013 14:54

They just sound totally disorganised with none of the partner organisations telling anybody else what they are doing. I wouldn't take it personally beyond thinking, 'and these people have jobs!' As others have said, you are best to write it all down (as you have told us here minus the swear words) to complain to the parties involved and also for a detailed record for your own keeping. Also, agree with investigating whether your DD's difficulties could make you exempt from all this.

LadyBeagleEyes · 07/02/2013 18:15

My experience too Cecily, with the whole 'and these people have jobs' thing I know when I've gone to job centres, that I could do their job easy peasy, without being judgmental.

It ain't going to happen though, I'm far to far away from a city. Come the Spring I'll get employment, but the whole Jobseekers agreement needs to be overhauled.

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