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AIBU?

to be fed up of the destruction in the kitchen every time DP cooks?

48 replies

wannabedomesticgoddess · 07/02/2013 12:36

I cook dinner, I clean up as I go. When dinner is finished I do all dishes and leave the kitchen tidy.

When DP cooks dinner every dish, utensil and pot is used. All the packets are just left thrown all over the benches. He puts the dirty plates in the sink with food still on them and that is the one and only reason that I refuse to do the cleaning after he has cooked.

To be fair, when he cleans he does it well, but it takes him days to get round to it (I know this because I left it to see) and he was doing all the cooking while I was pregnant. But you think by now he would have learned to tidy as he goes.

Hes not here today, so I am left with a bombsite of a kitchen and a baby who wont settle. So I cant even make a quick bite because to do that will involve a deep clean of the bloody kitchen. Angry

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tinyshinyanddon · 08/02/2013 20:39

Same problem with my dh plus he cannot get dinner on the table on schedule. I do most of the cooking now But he does have to get dinner served 3 times a week. I leave him to make rice/potatoes/whatever and instruct him on what to do with the meal I have prepared (ie put in in the oven at 5pm at 400F). Been coming home to inedible mashed potatoes and dinner running 30 min behind. Why???? I did most of the work (and tidied up). All he had to do was boil some tatties! And lord, the MESS!

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wannabedomesticgoddess · 08/02/2013 20:56

I find that DP cannot get the whole meal on the plate at the same time either.

No I dont want my pie before my chips. I want them at the same time!

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LetsKateWin · 08/02/2013 21:01

My DP is the same. Food in the sink, sink piled so high with dishes so you can't use the tap, plus there is grease EVERYWHERE, the tea towels will be completely covered in stains...i just don't get it. He thinks in weird and obsessed with cleanliness...

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wannabedomesticgoddess · 08/02/2013 21:11

Oh the tea towels. And the grease.

All our tea towels are disgusting with stains except three that hes not allowed to touch.

The tops of cupboard doors, or the tops of drawers. How can they get dirty?

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Puffykins · 08/02/2013 21:15

DH is exactly the same. And he will clear up, just, some time the next day . . . And if I do as Seeker suggests, I too get the eye roll, and if I'm really unlucky it'll develop into an argument about my OCD, which I don't have, I just have higher standards than him. And he thinks that it's unfair that I make him adhere to my high standards. (He doesn't understand why bedsheets ever need changing, for instance, or towels, either, unless they're mildewy.)

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chandellina · 08/02/2013 21:18

If you cook and clean up than why doesn't he cook and clean up? I avoid dh cooking for this very reason. (he does my washing up but I am not prepared to do the same when half the cookery is out.)

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bedmonster · 08/02/2013 21:39

My DP is the same. He actually loves cooking, is very good at it, and does more than half, some weeks he cooks all the meals. Other weeks I will cook during the day (am a SAHM) and clear as I go along and then just do the dishes afterwards. When he cooks, he sometimes clears up as he goes along but 70% of the time doesn't. If we eat early I do the dishes afterwards. Otherwise I do them in the morning.
Doesn't really bother me though, I can do them the next day. He goes out to work all day whereas I can do what I want which sometimes involves spending a fair amount of time on my bum! Am generally happy with the deal.
At least your DH came home and cleaned up in the end!!

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ClippedPhoenix · 08/02/2013 21:41

Train the bastard Grin

My DP used to do this until I made his life so unbearable that it's just not worth it anymore he wants a quiet life

he now cleans as he goes.

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wannabedomesticgoddess · 08/02/2013 21:43

:o Clipped.

Its a slooooow process.

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Porkster · 08/02/2013 21:46

Yanbu, (which my phone changes to Tabby).

My dh cooks almost every meal, leaves the kitchen in chaos, but has to clean up and load dish washer before he goes to bed.

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ClippedPhoenix · 08/02/2013 22:52

Took me three years Grin

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wannabedomesticgoddess · 08/02/2013 22:54

Im only 18 months in.

Gonna have to step it up a gear

He made yummy jalfrezi tonight. But cooked pasta to have with it Hmm

Thankfully he realised in time to make rice.

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ClippedPhoenix · 08/02/2013 22:59

He sounds like a real good one there, just a bit rough round the edges Grin

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wannabedomesticgoddess · 08/02/2013 23:06

Yes. A diamond in the rough.

My mother trained my father. If thats possible anything is. The first time she went to his own house for dinner he was eating cornflakes out of a frying pan because all the other dishes were piked in the sink :o

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wannabedomesticgoddess · 08/02/2013 23:06

Piled rather.

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ClippedPhoenix · 08/02/2013 23:11

We do joke about "training" maybe OP but a good man learns how to make you happy and if cleaning the kitchen as he goes does that over time he will, same as some things you do aren't to his way, then you adapt. It's a wonderful thing that you can look back in a few years time and see how you have both accommodated each others foybles.

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wannabedomesticgoddess · 08/02/2013 23:14

Its true. I have relaxed a lot over the time with him. As long as its both ways its a good thing :)

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ClippedPhoenix · 08/02/2013 23:18

When my DP and I first met we locked horns like you wouldn't believe and if I had have posted in relationships then we would have both been up for abusive behaviour, being such strong characters. Over time we have adapted and I'm now beginning to truly love him and him I.

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AngelAtTheTopOfTheTree · 09/02/2013 01:41

Another time I found mint sauce on the dining room wall - I suspect done by his over vigourous stirring on way to dining room table.....

He's very good a breadcrumbing things too, but FFS the mess after.........


Hahahahaha!

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seeker · 09/02/2013 07:08

Well, all I can say is that these men must have enormous willies for thm to get in the way sooooooooo much they can't reach the sink. So difficult for them, poor darlings. Intelligent Design really got it wrong there, didn't it? Grin

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MoleyMick · 09/02/2013 07:24

seeker Grin

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wannabedomesticgoddess · 09/02/2013 07:59

:o

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LetMeAtTheWine · 09/02/2013 20:04

Not unreasonable at all. My husband uses two pans when cooking bacon and eggs. Drives me nuts. Also doesn't wipe down work tops when doing the dishes. Grrrrrr.

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