To not go to work day after Grandad died?????

[Queenofknickers]

My Grandad died suddenly yesterday. He was 94 but well and hearty and we were very close. I'm really sad and upset but what is worse has been the reaction from my family (parents, aunts etc) that I shouldn't be upset "over-emotional" and certainly shouldn't have taken today off work. Am I mad or are they???!!!!!

Am I mad or are they?

Neither and/or both.

Neither in that some people can't function at work when they have had a loss like this, and others find it easier to carry on as usual. You do whatever you need to do to grieve and ignore other people's opinions. I'm very sorry for your loss

I'm sorry for your loss

I don't think people should ever tell someone else how to grieve so YANBU. It seems strange to tell someone not to be over-emotional when someone has died.

neither. There is no ' right' response to grief. He may have been old and you knew this would happen, but it doesn't make it easier when it does.

I would suggest that you go to work tomorrow as a distraction, but if you do something safety-related ask for some compassionate leave.

with sympathy.

Neither. Do you get any paid leave? Could that be the issue?

I agree with everyone. There is no right or wrong. You may not be entitled to compassionate leave as I'm not sure a grandparent is considered a close enough relative. I may be wrong though, but it will depend on what your HR department specify.

I don't think yabu based on what you've said. Your feelings are your own and if you felt too upset to go to work it's between you and your employer. If you are taking holiday leave or unpaid leave it is probably to the benefit of your employer as your concentration might not be great if you were in. Perhaps there is some other reason your family don't wish you to miss a day's work? Or are they concerned that you get excessively emotional about things due to past mental health issues?

Btw I was devastated when my grandmother died age 84 and definitely did not go to work except I was a student and it was during the summer so only a summer job.
I am very sorry for your loss.

It's absolutely not unreasonable to not go in for a day if you are feeling distraught.

However, it does seem a little strange that your parents think you are being "over emotional" given one of them must be your grandads son/daughter.
Is there more to this?

I hope that they can support you through your grieving