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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want a bit of time to myself?

22 replies

startwig1982 · 06/02/2013 21:42

Next week is half term and as a teacher, I have it for holiday. However, I'm only part time, so only have 3 days off. DS and DH will both be at nursery/work so it'll just be me. Bliss.
My dsis is currently trying to fill up my precious three days with other things. I'm going to look after dniece for most of one day and she wants me to go to ikea on one of the other days.
The thing is: I was really looking forward to being able to do proper cleaning and lots of, albeit cold, gardening.
Wibu to say no to ikea on the basis of wanting time to do my own slightly selfish things?

OP posts:

motherinferior · 06/02/2013 21:43

You don't have to look after your niece either, you know.

Original poster

startwig1982 · 06/02/2013 21:44

I know that, but felt it was mean to say no!

OP posts:

motherinferior · 06/02/2013 21:45

She's really doing a number on you, isn't she. It's not too late to say sorry, school's asked you to do something on that day...

fluffypillow · 06/02/2013 21:46

Why is your DS at nursery during half term if you have time off anyway? Wouldn't you rather spend the time with him?

pictish · 06/02/2013 21:47

Say no. Say you're keeping the time free all for yourself, because you never get any. Say it with a smile though.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 06/02/2013 21:47

Or just say actually I was really looking forward to having a day to myself? Surely she'll understand? Do you have to lie about it?

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 06/02/2013 21:48

Don't pile on the working parent guilt fluffy

Tell your sister you're busy and do exactly what you like - I would be the same.

Original poster

startwig1982 · 06/02/2013 21:48

We have to pay whether he goes or not and I thought i'd take the opportunity to be able to do stuff that I can't do with him at home. We're taking him out at Easter and part of the summer but can't really afford to pay for him if he's not there.

OP posts:

LadyWidmerpool · 06/02/2013 21:50

You don't have to justify yourself OP! And YANBU.

tunnocksteacake · 06/02/2013 21:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

startwig1982 · 06/02/2013 21:52

Sadly my dsis has inherited my dm's habit of being able to make me feel guilty very easily! She's a single mum and doesn't have it easy but I so want to do proper cleaning!

OP posts:

motherinferior · 06/02/2013 21:52

Loaded question much, Fluffy? The OP has the chance of three days of fabulous, glorious, child-free solitude. I rather think that's an answer in itself.

fluffypillow · 06/02/2013 21:56

I'm not having a go at working parents unexpected . I just think it's strange to have time off work , and not automatically think of spending time with your child .

OP, you say you can't afford to pay if he's not there.....that makes no sense

Original poster

startwig1982 · 06/02/2013 22:01

Well have two days with him plus the weekend. What's the point of paying if he's not going to go for quarter of the time?(13/52 weeks) It doesn't mean I don't love spending time with him. It's just a chance to get some stuff done.

OP posts:

fryingpantoface · 06/02/2013 22:02

Makes sense to me fluffy

She has to pay either way, whether he goes or not. Presumably it'll work out cheaper for him to be there as she won't have to feed/ entertain him, especially as she'd still be paying the nursery

fryingpantoface · 06/02/2013 22:04

Forgot to add YANBU.

I love it when ds is at mil's for the day. Then I can have a good clean, and then waste my time the way I please. It is so relaxing!

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 06/02/2013 22:05

Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for wanting your own time, a happy mum is a good mum. And don't let your sister take it over! She can do ikea on her own can't she?

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 06/02/2013 22:07

So my understanding is that teachers work long hours, often including evenings and weekends.

Leaves little time to recharge, get chores done, sort jobs out etc.

Half term is a perfect time to do this and presenting a black and white scenario of "you're not working = spending time with your children" is, IMO over simplistic and has the potential to imply that the OP loves her DC a little less than she should.

NotSoNervous · 06/02/2013 22:12

YANBU

If I were you I'd be tempted to "have been called in on 2 of your days off and the other day you have xxx to do so you can't look after you're DN" then lock yourself in, turn off the phone and enjoy

fluffypillow · 06/02/2013 22:12

I have NOT said, or implied, anything about OP loving her child less than she should. That's ridiculous.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 06/02/2013 22:52

Forgive me fluffy I am in bed with a stinking cold, unable to sleep and therefore grouchy :)

Xmasbaby11 · 06/02/2013 22:56

Yay for time alone! I was the same in Xmas hols. Had three weeks off and DD was mostly with me, but for a few days I took her in for short days so I could clean/cook/go to gym. It was bliss!

Say no to Ikea!!! Just say you're busy.

Flip