Dealing with hypercritical people

[11stone4]

I posted here for more traffic if that's okay!
How do people deal with constant criticising family members. My DH said to me today I do not have patience with them. That being sensitive to their criticisms is my most negative trait! I can't not speak to them. That's not even an option. Family have no idea I feel this way.

Why don't you tell them how you feel?

Maybe during the next criticism.

You know, you are constantly criticising me. Why do you do that? It's very hurtful and I'd like you to stop.

It is normal to be sensitive to criticism! Especially if it is constant.

Is there any way you can plainly tell them how you feel, on a case by case basis?

It's got to just depend on how it's done, by whom and why - you just have to find your own way a lot of the time.

I used to get a lot of barbed comments from my Dad about my garden, as he mows the lawn for me but makes it quite clear that my lack of gardening skills mean I should live in a flat. I lost my temper with him last summer and pointed out I have been sorting his phone, Internet and TV for YEARS and have always done so cheerfully and pleasantly. That shut him up!

Is there anything in what they're saying? I have a friend who is - gosh, we all have messy houses but hers is just absolutely awful (she had a dead squirrel by her front door for weeks) and her parents never say anything but always just start tidying!

Hmmm
Do they offer criticism in a negative way? Perhaps if you discussed how difficult you find it and ask them to word it more constructively. Otherwise you will just become over defensive and not open to any learning opportunites.

Maybe it's time they did have an idea you feel this way?They may not even realise how harsh they sound.You could try the MN standard of 'did you mean that to sound so rude?'.

You have the right not to be treated in a bad way,you know.Pull them up on it.By the sounds of it,they aren't too shy about speaking their minds,you dont have to be either.

"That being sensitive to their criticisms is my most negative trait!"

He's no friend to irony your DH, is he?