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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry at this doctor?

18 replies

Kyrptonite · 06/02/2013 20:25

Disclaimer: 8 weeks pg and hormonal

I started toilet training DS who was 3.4 and DD who was 2.1 back in July. DD picked it up quickly but DS struggled.

He got a lot better about not weeing in his pants but we have never had more than 2 days of not soiling and no more than a week of no accidents at all.

Last week he began wetting up to 8 times a day. He seems genuinely unaware that he needs to go at the moment and is asking for a lot more to drink.

Took him to Drs today and saw a locum. Explained situation to him and he told me to persevere with toilet training or put DS in a nappy.
DS is 4 next month. Dr didn't feel his tummy, check for diabetes (despite big posters up about type 1 in children and the symptoms such as frequent urination and increased thirst) and he generally made me feel as though its my fault.

AIBU to expect more to have been done? I'm really worried there is a medical issue and DS is not getting help he may need.

I don't want him being the smelly kid who poos/wees himself at school in September.

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 06/02/2013 20:27

why didn't you ask those questions in the surgery?

is your son presnting with some of the symptoms you mention?

rubyslippers · 06/02/2013 20:28

if you started in July this has been going on for nealry 7 months

have you spoken to a HV at all?

Ilovesunflowers · 06/02/2013 20:28

They don't usually do something about this until the child is about 7. If he's not aware he needs to go to the toilet then it sounds like he's just not ready for toilet training yet. Every child is different. They can't check every child for diabetes just because they are struggling with toilet training.

doublecakeplease · 06/02/2013 20:28

You should have asked. Doctors aren't psychic.

Original poster
Kyrptonite · 06/02/2013 20:29

I tried to ask but the dr kept cutting me off to ask why I wasn't doing enough to toilet train DS.

Showing 2 of the 4 main symptoms.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kyrptonite · 06/02/2013 20:31

Don't have much to do with HVs. They run their clinic whilst I'm at work usually.
Can try and get out early to see one next week.

OP posts:
Shesparkles · 06/02/2013 20:32

The doc does seem to have focussed only on the tolet training aspect rather than the change in your son's toilet habits doesnt he. Go back and see another doctor, and if you can take a urine specimen with you so he can be checked for a urinary infection.
Boys do tend to be a bit slower than girls with toileting, and there's still a while to go till September, there still plenty time for it to just "click" for him if all's well otherwise

rubyslippers · 06/02/2013 20:33

a HV should be able to ring you - you can generally leave messages for them

Original poster
Kyrptonite · 06/02/2013 20:36

I hope it does click. He gets really shuffly and embarrassed when it happens.
The dr kept telling me that it was my fault for not putting DS on the loo if he said he had a tummy ache.

OP posts:
Yamyoid · 06/02/2013 20:42

I was going to say the same as Ruby. Mine will do home visits too.
My ds struggled and didn't come out of nappies until a week before his fourth birthday. The hv said if he wasn't toilet trained by his fourth birthday she'd look into what the next steps should be, ie doctors referral.
Perhaps your ds just isn't ready. I found it pretty stressful but it was fine in the end. The dr really shouldn't have implied you weren't doing enough, you can't force them into it.

DeepRedBetty · 06/02/2013 20:46

First of all the most likely thing is that he's just not ready. 3.4 with a boy is not ridiculously late. Meanwhile get a second opinion in case there is a genuine medical issue.

Yamyoid · 06/02/2013 20:46

Just saw your last post. The dr is really bad, totally unsupportive and making the situation worse. I just let ds wear nappies and asked him every so often if he wanted to try wearing pants today. If he said no, I just said ok and moved on.
This was advised by the hv after I'd tried many times unsuccessfully and she said the best thing was not to make a big deal out of it.
Your dr sounds clueless on the subject.

Svrider · 06/02/2013 20:48

Don't bother with Hv, you need someone medically qualified
Make another appointment ASAP
Take a bottle of fresh urine with you, and this time tell them what you are worried about

Yamyoid · 06/02/2013 20:49

Don't pharmacists now do diabetes checks?

Original poster
Kyrptonite · 06/02/2013 21:19

I'm going to try and get another appointment tomorrow.
If he was still 3.4 now I wouldn't be too worried but he's 3.11 and very aware that this doesn't happen to his friends or little sister. He looks so confused sometimes when he realised he has had an accident.

OP posts:
gordyslovesheep · 06/02/2013 21:21

be proactive - call your HV and ask for a visit of see another gp

gordyslovesheep · 06/02/2013 21:21

OR not of!

manicbmc · 06/02/2013 21:23

UTI? Might explain why he isn't aware he needs to go until it's too late.

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