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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU and letting the side down by not reporting this knob?

3 replies

Shouldbemakingdinner · 06/02/2013 18:05

I started a new job at the beginning of January in a practical role in an all-male team of 5. It is safe to say that I am new to this industry so am learning the ropes as I go and obviously need some support here and there. I do have some skills though and am a ?get stuck in? kind of person.

The problem I have is that one of my colleagues since returning from a couple of weeks of annual leave has been really obnoxious imo in a very sexist manner. We seemed to be getting on fine before he left for hols.

Yesterday afternoon he was talking about a woman we know getting all tarted up i.e. wearing make-up and not just wearing her dog-walking outfit, and that she could teach my younger male colleagues ?a trick or two?. I can cope with this kind of bollocks (don?t see why I should, but you have to pick your battles). However, he then started on me saying that I was only hired because I would do the washing up. He said that they didn?t want to hire another bloke because they knew he wouldn?t wash the mugs.

In a split second decision (in front of the rest of the team) I laughed this off as I?m new and I didn?t want to make a scene. However I stewed over it all night and it was the first thing I thought about when I woke up.

Today, after making negative comments about my day?s work, he asked if I wouldn?t prefer to go back to my old career where I would be sitting in a nice office drinking coffee. I stated that there was a good reason why I left my old career and he asked if it was because I refused to sit on my boss? knee. I replied that it was because the industry I was in was full of arseholes. To my delight he walked right into the trap and said that there were arseholes in this industry too, to which I could say with a wry smile ?I?ve noticed?.

I was angry today and I suppose I was waiting for an opportunity to get revenge. However this is not constructive going forward. I don?t want to feel like I?m constantly being attacked / put down / made to feel inferior but I also don?t want to make a formal complaint.

I?ve job changed in my mid-thirties and I?m being paid very little at the moment but getting some excellent experience which will serve me well with my future plans. I?ve been through an awful lot of shit in the last couple of years and I?m NOT going to let this twat get the better of me and ruin this opportunity.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom / fantastic one-liners that will shut the fuckwit up?

OP posts:
MammaTJ · 06/02/2013 18:09

See how you go after sticking up for yourself the first time, but if it continues, go above him and complain.

mirry2 · 06/02/2013 18:15

Make sure you don't wash the coffee cups for a start, and tell him your don't appreciate his comments.

Juanca · 06/02/2013 19:00

I had a colleague like this (male dominated industry) and I used to question him deeply about each and every thing he said with a puzzled look on my face. He soon gave up.

eg:

colleague: "you should do the dishes in the kitchen, because women are better at doing dishes than men!"
me: "What do you mean, how can women be better at doing dishes than men?"
colleague: "Because women belong in the kitchen, haha!"
me: "What do you mean by that?"
colleague: "erm... they just do. I was making a joke."
me: "Oh, sorry [deeply confused face] ... I thought jokes were supposed to be funny so I didn't get that one."

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