To despair at EVER finding a bra that fits?!

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So, I have read every website on the subject, been measured at Bravissimo, and STILL find every single bra uncomfortable - even the ones that Bravissimo said were the right size. I just want to rip the thing off as soon as I get in from work. They seem fine for about an hour, then start to dig in.

I find that they just 'curl up' at the back, and I get horrible back fat, or dig in at the side/arm pit, but mainly on just one side! The band never seems to sit flush to my side iyswim. I have tried going up a band and down a cup, down a band and up a cup etc, have tried every style going..........

I found when I wore my saggy old too big bras they gave me no shape or support, but my god they were comfy!

I think I am about a 36/38 E/F. I have ordered and sent back about ten bras this last month as they just all HURT.

So, AIBU to just let 'em all hang out and be pain-free??!!!!

Please please could you offer me some advice as I literally despair of ever finding a bra that I don't spend the day wanting to rip the thing off. It's so bad that I have spent the last month completely bra-less.

Chest: 39.5
(Leaning forward at 90 degrees measurement) over the boob: 48

My boobs don't look that big - but I have a lot of fat in the sides under the armpits. If I go above an E cup the top of the cup always looks wrinkly and empty.

I have no idea what to do - help please from all you wonderful knowledgable bra experts! Style/cut ideas would be so helpful as well as size. Thanks soooo much.
xxx

Andratx, I posted some info further up about scooping etc /on my phone so can't repost it) which would be useful for you. Size wise, I would either trying a 38g, 38gg, 40f as start point. What are you wearing currently?

I am a 32G - try finding a decent fitting bra for my bazookas

StatiscallyChallenged Last one tried was a 42F with a back extender cos it was tight and couldn't find a 44 in anything.

I have read your scooping info, thanks, I will try some bra shopping with the sizes you suggest and try scooping big-time.

Do you have any suggestions for styles eg should I look for or discount plunge/balconette/full. ??

What's your view on non-wired? I find wired ones so damn uncomfortable, I am constantly digging the wires out of my flesh.

Wired is kind of essential for big boobs tbh, you just don't get the support from wireless. I would say a balcony is the best basic day to day style.

With the sizing, the underarm fat you mentioned can and should be in the cups. But, you have to make it go there. And then make it stay, which means a big enough cup and a tight enough back. I suspect the reason the prev bra feels tight is because you haven't scooped.IF I put even my best bra on without actually putting myself in it properly then it looks far too tight in the back, and like you could fit another person in the cups

Hm, tbh it sounds like the 36 was too tight. But the advice to wear the 40 on the middle hook is concerning as it means you won't get as much wear out if it. I would be tempted to place an order for the same bra in a 38jj and k. Reason I say order is that you can try it on around the house for a bit longer than you can in a shop so you can see how it feels when you are moving around.

Ok, I am also confused! The cup on the 38jj should be the same size as the 40j.

Hmmm. My new 28-30 back may prove a little tricky on the High St.

Ironic that none of the Figleaves models are wearing the correct size

Go to Rigby and Peller. They are brilliant. I'm a 34 EE, and their bras fit me perfectly. Signy uses them too.

Hotair, I am half wondering if there may be a quality issue with your 38jj. Roughly speaking, the 38jj is the same cup as the 36k and the 40j. Given that you were fitted in a 36KK (so only one cup size higher) and a 40J, I wouldn't expect the cup on the 38JJ to feel vastly far out.

Highlander, 28-30s aren't easy on the high street. The big department stores are your friend, particularly Debenhams and John Lewis who have both improved their range and fitting service massively in recent years.

Ok so im going to order a bra as im fed up of falling out of this one and today the wire started poking out of it, its 3 years old, i have no stores near by so will need to find online, so im 29 unde and 34 1/2 across, im empty up top so going to go for balcony style in a 30 DD this one - www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_152010560460_-1

is this the correct style i should be going for?

They would be a good one to start with if you want padding. For non-padded (which sometime give better lift, strangely, then something like this freya is quite a good start. It will take a while to figure out what shapes work best but the balcony is generally a good basic shape for most people.

Pingu my 32Gs are happy and well supported in most Freya balcony styles, although I'm wearing a 32H Panache today. I have a Panache sports bra that works a treat too.

Unfortunately with bras they are quite precise so there isn't a lot of room for error. If you get a new stitcher who is a little over cautious and sews 1-2mm further in than they should on every seam you could easily end up with a bra that is quite far out! Especially if the 38K was far too big.

That does sound like an unusually dodgy fitting for Bravissimo. How is the new one feeling today? Out of interest have you tried wearing it on the tightest hook? There is probably less than an inch between tightest hook on a 40 and loosest hook on a 38, so if (on a brand new bra) the tightest hook is fine it would suggest that you probably do need the 38. It is also possible that this particular bra isn't great for you - there are some bras which I just can't get to work no matter what size. Which bra is it out of interest?

I would phone up in advance, explain the situation, and demand t obe fitted by the manager/most senior fitter.

The Alana is a funny bra. I like it, but it doesn't work on a lot of people particularly those who have quite full on top boobs. I think this is because it's quite tight at the top. I have also found that the fitters can treat it as their go to bra for fitting when sometimes it isn't the right one for that person.

The black being tighter thing is generally true IME.

From what you are describing, apart from serious quality gremlins I think you almost certainly need a bigger cup. Which in a way makes more sense if your original 38jj was too small, and the first fitter moved to to a 36KK which is a cup size bigger. Also, if the cup is a bit small it distorts how the back feels - have you tried the old putting it on back to front trick, just to see how the backs feel once you take the cup fitting out of the equation? I tried on one bra in Bravissimo the other day that I thought I would need a bigger back in, but actually going up in the cup made the back fit better.

yes black bras in the same size will come up a bit tighter because of the dye process. Surprised at the bad experience at R&P, the ladies were all lovely when i worked there, but i was at the Knightsbridge branch many yrs ago, and of course it depends who you saw.

I am quite sure the owner would be happy to hear of anyone having a rude fitter/experience.