to think a 14 yr old is capable of crossing the road by himself??

[elah11]

I met a friend of mine yesterday at the local Primary school and her 14 yr old ds was with her, she hadnt sent him to school because there was a light covering of snow on the ground and she was afraid he might slip on his bike . Anyway he asked to go to the shop which is the opposite side of the road, and his mum said yes'but make sure you cross with the Lollipop lady'. I started to laugh and said 'seriously? hes 14!'. She was disgusted and couldnt believe I would let my 14 yr old son cross a fairly small road (hardly any through traffic, just school traffic driving slowly and stopping every few seconds due to aforementioned lollipop lady). Please tell me she was over protective and I am not some feckless mother allowing their teenage son to dice with death

YABU.... if there's a crossing guard, I'd use it myself.

Its a really quiet little road and he was crossing one end, the lolipop lady was down the other btw

Sorry but I would say yabu.

What Cog said

If there was a lollipop lady it would make sense to cross safely with her whatever your age IMO.

It's not DS1 (13) crossing the road that I worry about-it's the speeding drivers.

She does sound a bit odd with regard to not sending him to school because of the snow, that is mad!

Mine would cross a busy road ok without a lollipop lady.

Crossing with the crossing patrol person sounds sensible, and I'd do it myself if it didn't involve an unreasonable detour. However, by 14 he should be able to make the decision on how/where to cross himself, so YANBU to think she was being a bit overprotective. Maybe YWBU to laugh at her/her son like that though.

If my 14 yr old cycled to school every day , then i would imagine he had enough road sense to cross a road unaided .

While yes, a 14 year old absolutely can cross the road alone, even an adult would be best advised to cross at a safe(r) crossing point. I was at my most kamikaze crossing the road in my teens, so a reminder is always good.

YANBU. Sounds to me like a very overprotective mum. They have to learn to make their own decisions, and we have to let them, that's our most important job as parents. IMO.

CasperGutman I did laugh but not in a nasty way, we are very good friends really she would happily do the same to me

I'd say a high proportion of the 14 year-olds in our village have no road-sense whatsoever. At school chucking out time, they just wander in the road without looking if they want to cross. They are completely oblivious to the traffic and crossing points.

I wouldn't be worried about the crossing of the road but I would be worried about the cycling to school every day. I'd be worried about Dh cycling on the roads too. It doesn't matter how sensible they are, it's the dodgy drivers.

YABU - it depends on the child. The 13 year old son of a friend of ours has a complicated schedule for going to and from school on the tube without crossing any "difficult" roads. It would seem odd to most, but the child has zero sense of direction, and would probably step out in front of a bus while texting or playing a game on his phone.

should be, but it does dependon the 14 year old.

wow, can't believe people think YABU

My 10 year old can cross the road. Obviously not a major/busy road without a crossing point, but a quiet side street?

At 11 he will be cycling to secondary school, and/or walking to/from the train station.

I know we were always told that children can't tell the speed of a moving car until they are about 9 or 10, so until then he was only allowed to use crossing point, but now I have taught him the skills he needs so he can do it.

Y are DNBU

Maybe she just wanted him to set a good example to the Primary School children who would be watching him!!!
I have told DS (16) to make sure he crosses roads at Pelican crossings as he has been set a bad example by his father!!!
It is one of my pet hates when I see people crossing the road 20 metres down from an official crossing - it is just laziness. And I know for a fact that the Lollipop lady in our local town puts her lollipop up for parents crossing back from the school entrance without any children and it is a relatively quite road (apart from school traffic) which would be easy enough to cross without assistance.

I remind my Y7 to be careful because she is totally dippy about roads.
I don't remind her Y10 sister because she knew not to run across roads by the time she was 3!

I do understand what you are saying. The snow thing sounds a little over protective but the crossing he road. Some people,n ot just children have no road sense. And the biggest killer of teenagers - traffic

I'm sure there was some research about teens being really dangerous around traffic - their brains are wired differently for a period of time, and they are often in a gaggle messing around, playing on phones, plugged into headphones etc. Not to mention drivers paying less care and attention to them than they would younger children.

Nothing wrong with wanting someone to cross at the safest crossing.

But I think teens get to an age where you need to speak to them like adults regardless of whether they are sensible or not. Particularly in the hearing of others.

Otherwise it will be harder for them to think of themselves as adults with adult responsibilities. Which this particular youngster will be in 4 years' time.

There are adults with no road sense, too. But their friends, or other halves, don't tell them that you can cross the road if you make sure you cross with the lollipop lady: they find more age appropriate ways of exhorting them to take care.

This mum should start practising that. Otherwise there is a risk that her teen will soon stop listening to her.