AIBU to think parents are too quick to blame the school?

[M0naLisa]

In December a reception child 'went missing' from school. - that is what was said in the letter that was sent out to all reception childrens parents.

What actually happened was the teacher allowed the child to leave with the mother, they left the classroom and went outside, mother asked child if he had some belongings an he said no he's forgot them. She sent him back to collect them. Unbeknown to the child the mother had followed him and stood in the wet Bay Area (water, paint, messy play) she was talking to her friends. Child got his stuff and went back outside. Child could find his mother and decided to walk home. (5 mins away from school)
Frantic search by mother, other parents and teachers lasted half an hour before the mother got a phone call saying the child was with the neighbour at home. He had been crying shouting for his mum and neighbour heard him, took him in and called her.
The mother blamed the school. A meeting was called and a new routine of how parents collect children was drafted up. Now children stand in register order in a line and the class teacher only allows the child outside the classroom if that child's parent is waiting outside. (Teacher then watches child meet parent) also it was decided that reception would finish 5 minutes earlier than the rest if the school.

The mother slagged off the school something chronic on Facebook saying how incompetent the school was allowing HER child to walk home alone.

Cut to last week and a different child 'escaped' from the line of children and went outside.
When he realised his mother wasnt there he asked the teacher if he could come back in. At this point the child's mum turned up and saw the teacher shouting at the children that he snuck past her and that was naughty of him. Child said that 'the other teacher let him out' the teacher asked the other teacher if she did, she said she didn't because that child isn't in her class and she wouldn't have let him out as she doesn't know who his parents are.

Then the mother blamed the school saying that they are incompetent and the new system had failed.

But what actually happened was that when the teacher had turned her back to speak to a TA (children who's parents haven't arrived TAs take children back into class)
Whilst the teachers back was turned this child did steel out with another child who's parents had arrived.

The mother spoke to head teacher and bollocked him saying the system failed, the mum who's child went missing in December also began a nasty post on Facebook calling the school and head teacher and how they are a bad school etc etc

Am I being unreasonable to think that once your child is released to you - the parent, then it is your responsibility for your own child??

The two parents are still slagging off the school.

Sorry it's long

Couldn't find his mother

Sorry for spelling mistakes, I'm on my phone

First instance it's the parents fault, but second it's the schools. The rule re staying in line was not fully understood by the child and its up to the school to explain it. ( though parents should obv reinforce it)

So YANabitU

The child does understand it, it was explained jn a special assembly in class by teacher and head teacher. and He's just a naughty boy. I know the child in question and the mother well. We went on a day trip out in the summer with mother and child and by the of the day my two children between them had a black eye, bruised cheek, cut to hand, bruise on back. He was smacking, hitting pushing and just been nasty to my children.

In 4 Primary schools that my DC's have attended, not one of them has released a DC without being able to actually SEE the parent until at least Y5.

They don't come out in register order, but the teacher holds the door open and they come out one at a time. If the parent is not seen, then the DC has to wait next to the door. Once all DC's have been released, any uncollected DC's go back into the classroom, and then to the office through the school corridors.

DC's attending after school clubs don't even leave the classroom - they get where they are going through the school corridors. And the DC's that go to the after school childcare club are also collected from the classroom - they wait in there until they are picked up.

Once they get to Y5, as long as the school has written permission from the parents, they will release the DC to walk home.

In the cases of families with more than one DC at the school, the older DC / DC's go through the school to the youngest DC's classroom until Y5, and then they are sent 'round' the at ground to the younger DC's classroom.

Never had a DC go missing that way in 11 years at 4 different primaries.

So actually, I DO think this school is quite lax.

First incident, not so much, was the parent's fault for not going WITH the DC or explaining to the DC to wait at the classroom for her.

Can't understand how either of them got out of the MAIN school gates though - surely with Reception age DC's (or any age tbh), if you saw a DC on their own, you would ask them who was picking them up, and if they were in any way unsure, you would ring the school or take them back to the school?

My DC's are in a 420+ pupil school, and there's always someone you know that's connected to any given DC. Like it's the friend of a friend of a friend's DC or whatever.

Or your DC's best friend's younger brother's best friend...

Do lots of people just not 'know' a connection to most of the other people in their local community?

I know someone who knows someone that connects me to most of the parents in the other school on our estate too.

Is that odd? It's like that for everyone here. Then again, you can't fart in the supermarket without your MIL finding out...

Upsides and downsides!

Merry.
The thing is:
Once children are collected you find that there are kids running all over the school grounds. So trying to find a child that's on their own is hard to spot.
Some parents don't care. The school opens out into a main road too :-(.

It's the same at school in a way if a child's patent isn't there then the child is sent to the classroom to wait till all children who's parents are there have been collected. Then they send the children out who's parents have arrives late.

On the second case this child snuck out behind the teachers back. Like I said he's a naughty one and doesn't like been told what to do. The first incident was the parents fault and she was out of order for blaming the school for her mistake.

In the first incedent you describe, that was the parents fault. In the second, it was the schools. Yes,he may well be a 'naughty' child but at that age a lot of them are.

The school has a responsibility to keep the children safe and because the teacher turned to talk to a TA, they did not uphold that.

There should be more in place though. At the school my DC attend, the HT or DH are stood by the gate and say goodbye to all leaving the playground. They are primarily there to ensure that no child leaves the playground unattended.

You can be pretty damn sure that if you have an issue to deal with at that time you get very little eye contact as there eyes are everywhere, doing what they are meant to do.

There has never been a child go missing or excape from there.

We also live in a community such as Couthydescribes though, where if you fart in the supermarket, the whole town knows about it within the hour.

The school have implemented a plan that should already have been in place. If they were letting reception aged kids out without checking to see if their parent or whoever usually collects them was waiting then something like this was bound to happen.

The school sounds lax.