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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be cross that DS didn't have any lunch at school today?

19 replies

Kiriwawa · 05/02/2013 18:42

To not dripfeed, DS is nearly 6, in year 1 and being assessed for SN (suspected ASD) at the behest of the school because he has problems with sequencing, remembering things, taking instruction etc.

At his school, they have playtime before lunch because the playground is quite small so they stagger it (year 2 go after lunch). DS fell over in the playground quite badly - had a massive lump on his forehead and icepack according to the accident report and it's still swollen, bruised and grazed. That's all fine.

What isn't fine is that when I went to empty his lunchbox he said 'oh I didn't have lunch because they gave me the icepack and I had to lie there and then it was time for school'.

He very rarely realises he's hungry, eats very little and is just within an acceptable weight for his height.

AIBU to think that someone should have realised that if he was lying down with an icepack through lunch, he wouldn't actually have had anything to eat? Is that more than I should expect from the school?

I really don't know whether my expectations are reasonable or not

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 05/02/2013 18:44

I don't think you are being unreasonable. Somebody should at least have asked him if he had had his lunch.

gimmecakeandcandy · 05/02/2013 18:45

Yanbu at all and you should bring it up with the school as they should have checked that he had eaten!

LindyHemming · 05/02/2013 18:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thebody · 05/02/2013 18:47

No it should have been noticed but mistakes do happen.

Just tell the staff.

Original poster

Kiriwawa · 05/02/2013 18:48

Good point Euphemia, I hadn't considered that. If they were that worried, they would have (should have?) called me though. I was working from home today as the school knew so I could have collected him

OP posts:

wewereherefirst · 05/02/2013 18:48

YANBU. They should have made sure he had his lunch, or if he was ill enough to not be able to eat with a head injury, they should have phoned you.

LindyHemming · 05/02/2013 18:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Kiriwawa · 05/02/2013 19:10

Thanks all. I will say something at drop off tomorrow - I didn't want to make a fuss if I was being a bit pfb about the whole thing

OP posts:

ll31 · 05/02/2013 20:19

not Sure i'd bother mentioning it tbh. what are you hoping to achieve?

redskyatnight · 05/02/2013 20:28

I agree that it should have been noticed, but can see how it could have been missed.

But ... did your DS not think to say to anyone that he hadn't had any lunch? Even if it was after "official" lunch time, surely his teacher would have let him sit in the corner and eat something?

Original poster

Kiriwawa · 05/02/2013 20:29

I'm hoping that if he's injured again at playtime that he gets to eat his lunch afterwards. After posting this thread, I don't think that's an outrageous request, I think it's fairly reasonable.

OP posts:

BambieO · 05/02/2013 20:30

I would definitely just mention it, might prompt the school to think twice in case of another lunch time mishap with any of the children, I'm sure they won't mind you just pointing it out.

Original poster

Kiriwawa · 05/02/2013 20:31

redsky - did you read the bit where it said he is being assessed for autism? Or the bit where I said he doesn't realise he's hungry?

He doesn't recognise hunger signs. The school know he has enormous sensory issues and that food is one of them

OP posts:

Goldmandra · 05/02/2013 20:34

not Sure i'd bother mentioning it tbh. what are you hoping to achieve?

I would mention it if it were my DD who has AS.

I think they might expect a 6 year old to tell someone they hadn't had their lunch and I would want to make sure they understood that she wouldn't do that. Children with ASD don't always realise that people around them don't know what they know.

thebody · 05/02/2013 20:36

Do remember though that at schools it is the lunch time supervisors who are in charge.

Yes I am sure the teacher was informed and he was given a head bump letter but teachers don't check up in whose eaten what for lunch or we wouldn't be doing anything else!

I am a TA and bit even paid for the lunch hour though I often bloody work it doing jobs.

Schools are busy places and I suggest his teacher had no idea he hadn't eaten.

neverputasockinatoaster · 05/02/2013 22:00

I would mention it.

DS has an ASD and has, in the past, forgotten to go in for lunch because he's packed lunches and his 'mates' are hot dinners so he's been playing with them and missed his call.

I mentioned it to his teacher and now one of the dinner ladies just makes sure he's had his lunch - he has a problem with low blood sugar which links to behaviour so I suppsoe it is in their interest to make sure he eats!!

At my school we'd maybe not check if an injured child had had lunch as we might assume, rightly or wrongly, that the dinner ladies had sorted it. If a parent mentioned there was a problem we would then a) ask the dinner ladies to keep an eye out and b) check the child had eaten - in a non threatening 'how was your dinner today' kind of way.

Lovelygoldboots · 05/02/2013 23:16

I am a lunchtime supervisor. Yanbu, he should have eaten. Sometimes communication can break down in these circumstances if another member of staff takes over. I would be really bothered if this had happened on my watch and would want to know about it to ensure it didnt happen again.

Original poster

Kiriwawa · 06/02/2013 09:52

The senco (and deputy head) and family liaison officer were on the gate today, as was the lady who runs the afterschool club.

They were all really appalled that this had happened and were really apologetic. I gave the senco the name of the person who'd signed his injury slip (or whatever it's called) and she's going to have a word.

So glad I did - thanks for the advice :)

OP posts:

fluffyraggies · 06/02/2013 10:05

I'm glad you had a word OP.

Poor little guy. Lots of children, SN or not, might hesitate about asking for time to have their lunch at that age. I'm amazed no one thought to check.

I get really droopy by mid-afternoon without a snack! So will a child.

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