to feel very hurt by this?

[porridgewithalmondmilk]

I probably am, but PLEASE tell me so nicely - I'll accept it, honestly but just feel a bit tender at the moment.

I have had an eating disorder for - oh, as long as I can remember. I'm not anorexic and although I tick many of the bulimic tendencies I don't actually induce vomiting or abuse laxatives (though have done so in the past.) However, I do binge eat - I don't overeat, rather, I will go days eating quite little then I will attack the sugar aisle like a shark after blood. I do have very good reasons for being like this and it is rooted in childhood.

I have maintained a normal weight, although it's been a bit up-and-down as sometimes I will binge more regularly than others.

That explains the context and like a lot of women, I am sensitive about my weight even though I'm a normal size. Then I get a facebook message from my friend informing me I "need" to try a hypnotic gastric band.

I am trying to think if I would ever inform one of my friends they needed this, even if they were overweight (which the friend is, by the way.)

So, I'm probably being stupid, but please tell me so nicely ... I just need an impartial view while I decide what to do next.

YANBU to feel hurt, especially when it's something this sensitive.

Did she mean it in a 'wow this is so good, you must try it' way or a 'you're a fat cow' way?

Are you seeking any treatment for your eating disorder or are you happy with how you eat?

YANBU, especially if she knows of your past struggles.

Insensitive cow. Unfriend her - you don't need toxic friends like that.

YANBU to feel hurt.

What context was it said in? Concerned or a jokey way?

Maybe the friend means it as a way of controlling the binges rather than that you need to lose weight.

Tell her she needs said band tying round her vocal chords....

Don't use FB for meaningful communication.

Manic - yeah, I think it was probably one of those "wow this is amazing" moments but honestly, the way it was phrased was just how I put it here, I think if it had been phrased a bit differently I wouldn't have minded so much.

I'm not having treatment exactly but it is a tricky one as I don't fit neatly into a 'category' no one really knows how best to help me Mostly, I am able to control it although I do have my bad days, but I've come a long way from where I was which I am proud of.

Thanks for being kind, I'm glad I'm not just being ridiculously sensitive!

Was it actually her, or is it a spam message sent automatically to all her friends? She might not even know it's there if it is. Or she might have thought "oooo look at that" and shared it, again it would go to everyone, without her thinking whether all her friends need or want to see it.
Or, some women (let's face it, LOTS of women) spend their whole life on diet after diet and discuss food and calories and weight loss and gain endlessly for so long that they just forget that not everyone is the same, so it might have just "come out" so to speak - thoughtless, but not malicious or spiteful.
Maybe be she was genuinely impressed with it, or attracted to it and wants to try one and was just excited about it?
You know her better than us, and can decide. Talk to her about it maybe?

You might find that she clicked on an advert (there was one for this item yesterday) and it has been forwarded to all of her 'friends' my niece has done this and doesn't know how to stop it happening.
don't put down to malice what you can put down to stupidity.

jkklpu - I don't, this message came unprompted and out of the blue but would it really have been acceptable via a text, or over the phone, or as an email? Not sure FB makes any difference in this context to be honest. At any rate, I have closed FB down for now as I really could have done without that this evening.

So long as you're happy with how you eat and it's not harming you, then that is just how you are.

Don't be too down on your friend. She probably meant well but worded it badly.

No it was definitely from her, I replied to it and she replied in turn. Plus it was her "voice" if you see what I mean!

The other thing that pissed me off annoyed me a bit is that according to her it is great after she has been on it for ONE DAY, and turned down some ice cream. I felt like being really sarky and saying "all my problems are solved, then!"

Wtf: this person is not a friend.

The issue is, I know she won't have sent me that message maliciously or out of spite, I know she isn't like that.

However, she is SO thoughtless and really inconsiderate. I used to put it down to immaturity but I've had my fingers burned a few times now by behaviour like this.

No, it's rude via any medium, I agree. Too many people have stopped having live conversations and think this kind of thing is normal. Don't demean yourself by engaging in the conversation.

Hmm. She sounds pretty annoying tbh.

Im not surprised you are hurt but try to ignore it.

My aunt once asked me to get the doc to prescribe me diet pills and give them to her because I would "definately get them."

Some people are so obsessed with weight they think everyone should be the same.

Thanks everyone, I'm pleased it isn't just me being over-sensitive: I really thought I probably was. I need to have a think. I don't want this person in my life but it's one of those instances where just removing her from my friends list would create more problems! Difficult one.