It's up to mums to teach their boys that pubic hair on women is normal!?

[Uppatreecuppatea]

I've read countless surveys and reports over the last few months that state that young men would be 'grossed out' if they went to bed with a woman and found that she had pubic hair.

They seem to think that all women either come hair free or should wax it all off.

I think a lot of this attitude comes down to them viewing porn where it's normal for a woman to have zero pubic hair and a neat little pudenda.

It's a worry. I quizzed the local boys who work in our pub and they all wax their chest and think pubic hair is disgusting on both men and women.

So glad I am married to a man who appreciates the 70's!

But what is in store for our young girls?

[EnjoyResponsibly]

Tom Hollander is the sort of bloke you hope will get a pube lodged in his throat for life.

Just for being in Rev if nothing else.

[WorraLiberty]

Really though I think pubic and chest/back hair removal is a phase like any other and I can't wait to see what the next generation's phase/fad will be

I have half a mind that our kids will be cat's bum mouthing about it and we'll all be cool grannies telling them to chill the fuck out!

[BegoniaBampot]

I prefer some bush and have argued about the trend for shaving it all off. But, if we are saying we should tell girls that it's natural etc, not to be pressurised - what about shaving legs and armpits? Thinking about it, is it really that much different?

[Boomerwang]

Worra I wouldn't be surprised if it's face tattooing after seeing that daft Russian girl the other day :(

[SigmundFraude]

I do hope so Worra, otherwise I'll be hiding the Immac/Nair whatever you call it (showing my age there! Is it still called Immac? Never used the stuff).

I also hope boys wearing jeans around their knees will be a dim and distant memory too.

[BigSpork]

Helping children (and adults) know the wide range of normal is important. In my discussions with my kids, who've seen their father's and mine's hairy legs/underarms/arms for DP, that the hair is normal, they will it grow their as they become adults, and the amount of hairiness is individual (DP has fuzzy hobbity feet to match his legs, I have very sparse hair on my legs).

Beyond that hasn't come up yet but beyond that is preference. I don't shave at all but I'm far more covered than most including my head -- which other people have rudely said means I'm ashamed of my body when really I just find it more comfortable having more control over who sees what and I just find it far easier to just pull my hair up and don a cap than deal with keeping my wispy hair in check. I know other women who feel similar about getting rid of body hair completely rather than deal with the issues it can cause.

There is an issue of insecurity around trying oneself up to the idealized unrealistic expectations in media all around us. This article on girl's insecurities around their genitals I think is far more important talking point about normalcy than hair which is easily changed and much like discussing how images in mainstream media are quite altered and narrow (particularly for women - thin, sizeable chest, white or if not light, very standard hair, and so on), discussing how images in porn are also often altered to fit something that just doesn't exist and that bodies, and genitals and hair, come in a wide variety is an important thing.

[OldLadyKnowsNothing]

Last time I read one of these threads, I asked DS2 if, in his experience, most women his age (22) had naked genitals.

He said no.

(I now know more about his girlfriends than I really needed to. )

Maybe we're just behind the fashion in my area?

[Copthallresident]

Please do talk about this with your sons

I have two teenage DDs and the cool crowd use shaving as another way to divide and rule. At one point when Formspring was the rage the chief alpha girl was using it as a way of mentoring her younger Y7 proteges, advising them that no boy would want to have sex with them unless they do, which of course they would all be wanting to be doing soonest.....and getting her boyfriends on to confirm that this was true. This was followed by a whole thread of "it itches" comments apparently. DDs laugh about it and say they were looking out for squirming Year 7s to see which ones were the acolytes. They laugh about it but at the same time one DD has red hair and the obsession with the supposed repulsiveness of her pubic hair is past a joke.

[catladycourtney1]

I think the message we need to communicate to our children, male or female, is that they should never feel pressured into doing something they don't want to do because of how they think other people (of the same or of the opposite sex) will react to it, and that there is nothing wrong with looking how they want to look.

I shave, wear make-up, etc because it makes me feel better. I'm pretty sure that even if I woke up tomorrow morning and the entire male sex had disappeared, I would continue to do so, because it makes me feel more comfortable. In fact, an ex of mine used to badger me to grow my pubic hair back in because he liked it, and I refused without a thought. When my daughter is old enough to consider these things, I'll make sure she knows that she's just as beautiful and valuable without having to modify herself, but encourage her to do what she wants to do. I'll also make sure she knows that men (and women) and their bits and pieces come in all shapes and sizes, and that while she might have a preference, that doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with anyone who doesn't fit with that. And if I have a son, when the time comes I will teach him the same thing.

[ComposHat]

Please do talk about this with your sons

I am massively pro-muff, but if my mum tried to have this conversation with me as a teenager, I would have run a mile.

[cantspel]

I have 2 teen sons and i dont want to know how they choose to wear their public hair or not wear it as the case may be.

There are just some things a mother doesn't need to know.

[VisualiseAHorse]

I find armpit hair (on both sexes) just horrible. YUK. But pubes/chest/legs etc, couldn't give a rat's arse.

I think that we should teach that it's 'normal' to have hair on your body. And that you can choose to grow, groom or shave as you see fit.

[catladycourtney1]

cantspel "public hair"

[cantspel]

whoops

[Copthallresident]

ComposHat Cantspell So instead you want them to get their attitudes to women from the boys changing rooms?

[SolidSnake]

Visualise I like armpit on both sexes I think maybe i'm just odd!

[cantspel]

No i expect them to make up their own minds as to what they prefer.

Over the years both my husband and i have been bare and hair depending on what we fancied at the time. It is not the big deal mn seems to think it is and this is the only place where it seems to get discussed at least once a week.

In the real world no one i know cares who has pubes and who doen't.

[LadyBeagleEyes]

Just wondering how to start the conversation with ds.
"Ds dear, has girlfriend got pubic hair? Because you know it's fine if she doesn't shave, you don't want her looking like a porn star do you?"
Yes that I could see that going well,.
I think it's better that I mind my own business.

[moreyear]

Well it won't be a conversation I will be having anytime soon with my 2 year old DS. :) I think you are unreasonable to slate this at the feet of mothers of sons (especially as young men are themselves under increasing pressure to wax/have a cut/chiseled body etc).Boys are also subject to societal pressure - do you educate your daughters about that?

It is a difficult area and though I understand the impulse to blame pornography I don't know that it is actually true. The Pre Raphilite critic John Ruskin famously recoiled in horror when confronted with his bride's pubic hair in 1848. Think of classical statues, they are mostly devoid of pubic hair so it is really nothing new.

[moreyear]

Pushed too soon - what I do think we should teach our children is that beauty comes in many forms. That, like life, there is no one correct, homogeneous ideal and those who can appreciate beauty in all its diverse forms lead much richer lives.

[OldLadyKnowsNothing]

The Ruskin thing was supposedly because his models were also prostitutes, and removed pubic hair to stop transferring pubic lice. Early STI prevention...

[Copthallresident]

moreyear I definitely do, and from quite a young age too. The problem as DDs say is that boys do tend to absorb these attitudes from their peers. DD was brought up alongside a close friend's DS who was born a couple of days later, and his parents simply do not feel the need to have the sorts of conversations I have with my daughters, nor do they feel the need to set the same boundaries, simply because they perceive him to be less vulnerable. I feel it is important that I discuss this issue with my daughters so they know there is another point of view to the ones they are hearing from peers trying to establish cool credentials and build up self esteem through supposed superior sexuality etc. so they can have the confidence to decide for themselves, and be themselves, without reference to their supposed attractiveness to the opposite sex. We also have the conversation about judging the opposite sex in the same way. It is a far greater problem for girls than for boys, and a greater source of vulnerability. However I think it can be a problem for boys too and those conversations should take place with them too.

[bootsycollins]

You quizzed the local boys who work in your pub about waxing and pubes? That's the real worry not the general publics pubes, if you were a man asking the local young ladies who work in your pub about waxing and pubes you'd have your name on a register. Seriously op you've got so much more than other people's pubes to worry about