To think she should tell him?

[Dylanlovesbaez]

Mil is awful for lying about the most ridiculous things. When we visited her over Christmas she was having her house values but was really cagey about it.
I asked her when we returned home how the house hunting was going and she replied that they didn't want to move but wanted to know what house was worth. Fine!
Bit of background-she got house in divorce after repeating 'its the boys home' over and over even though only one of the 2 boys still lived there. Myself and dp offered to help her decorate and tried to persuade her to downsize to make life easier and financially more manageable but she came out with the boys home crap again. One of her sons still lives there and her new partner who she is marrying after just over a year together hasmoved in. They keep telling dp they have sold his belongings but will give him the money, they got rid of a box of CDs which had real sentimental value.
Anyway, it's natural that they would want to set up their own home, however, she's being so secretive about it.
Dps brother called last week to say he has to move out because they've had an offer on house and want to move into rented accommodation. This is all fine and we don't care but she still hasn't told dp. He's really hurt because she told his brother not to tell him. She's had so many opportunities to chat about it with him but she's avoiding it. It's made a normal situation very difficult and has led dp to start worrying about inheritance which was agreed in divorce but stupidly not put in writing. Sorry for very long post-what would you do?

Personally I'd keep out of it, and leave it to dh to deal with.

But he's not dealing with it and its likely to get out of hand and nasty! Do you think he should tell her he knows? When will she tell him? It's all so ridiculous.

Does it affect him in any way?

It could affect his inheritance and it also affects him because she's selling his stuff that she said shed keep hold of until we had somewhere bigger.

Ask for your stuff back and then keep out of it . You're partner is not entitled to an inheritance , its nice if you get one but that's all. His mother owns the house and can do whatever she wants with it .

Yes she does, it's just awful, there's so many things age has done but it would take far too long to explain.
The inheritance is supposed to be coming from his grandparents house which is in her name, this was agreed in the divorce because she was so greedy dps dad pretty much walked away with nothing. She drops the boys as soon as she has a new man and there have been many.
Just can't bear the blatant lies, it's not normal!

How is it likely to get out of hand and nasty? . Just remove your belongings from her home before she sells anything else, then keep out of it.

Any mention of inheritance in connection with someone who is still very much alive is well out of order.

My first thought was that the new man wants to "borrow" some money and she is remortgaging the house. Obviously I know nothing more than your post, so may be wide of the mark.

Yep - I'm afraid that as the owner of the house, she can do whatever she sees fit. Your dh doesn't have an automatic right to know anything about it.
Sorry if that isn't what you expected to hear. x

Floggingmolly, I agree about mentioning the inheritance but unfortunately these things have to be discussed with her as she expects dps dad to put his hand in his pocket for everything and there were agreements made which she is likely to go against. The topic of inheritance would never have come up if she hadnt been so secretive, she makes it seem she has something to hide.
It could get nasty because that's just the way she is, every situation becomes nasty with her. She has a vicious tongue.

If your DPs Mum owns property when she dies, he may have some inheritance.

If she doesn't then he won't.

Its not your business and why should she keep the house just to give your DP an inheritance?

This just sounds grabby.

Your DP should just get his stuff back and stay out of it.

Pictish-I know you are right. It just seems so sad that she's so secretive with her own children.
Mabelmurple-I don't think you are way off at all. He's dodgy!

There may not be an inheritance anyway. If she dies before new husband he has a claim on any property unless she makes a will stating otherwise.

Exactly ratspeaker!