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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed with DDs attendance letter

30 replies

RichardIII · 04/02/2013 14:28

..and ask you to help draft a reply.She has only bee off school twice since she started Y7 and both times she has started with the illness at school and been sent home by them.the last occasion she was off 10 days though because .. well you'll see from my reply . Comments please!

^Whilst i share your concern about the amount of time C has missed school recently, my overriding concern is, for her health.She has suffered a run of ailments-slapped cheek, nausea and diarrhoea, followed by a heavy cold and urinary infection .During C's last absence she visted her GP, Dr RS twice. R's opinion is that C seemed very pale and run down and that her immune system has had a battering and needed to recover . I followed her instructions precisely as to when C should return to school.

Just to clarify, as a parent I have a legal and moral obligation to seek and follow medical advice for my child when she is unwell.This is my position now and will continue to be in the case of any future illness.I would like to think the school would support me in this.^

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 04/02/2013 14:30

I think the school are obliged to dish these letters out so don't get into a stew about it. If their attendance drops below a certain % the council get involved and come down heavily on the school who therefore have to come down on you.

DoctorAnge · 04/02/2013 14:31

As someone who is in a similar position and who's DD school has been empathetic and supportive

YANBU!

YOur concern first is for the health and wellbeing of your child.

Bobbybird40 · 04/02/2013 14:31

Personally, I wouldnt even bother replying. If they are anything like most the teachers I know, they will always know best regardless of what you say or the strength of your argument.

adeucalione · 04/02/2013 14:34

Surely a standard letter that's generated when attendance slips below a certain percentage...? I wouldn't bother replying either.

BerthaTheBogCleaner · 04/02/2013 14:34

Thank you for letter regarding my child's attendance at school. Could you clarify a point for me - the next time my child has a contagious illness such as d&v, would you like me to keep her at home, or send her into school? Please answer in writing. Thank you

BigSilky · 04/02/2013 14:35

It's a standard letter, calm down and pick your battles.

mycatoscar · 04/02/2013 14:35

It's a standard letter, but they aren't well worded and can feel quite accusatory.

Btw bobbybird, teachers themselves don't send them!

Abra1d · 04/02/2013 14:35

Suggest a few changes

Whilst[suggest 'While'] i[capital I] share your concern about the amount of time C has missed school recently, my overriding concern is [delete comma] for her health.She has suffered a run of ailments[delete- and substitute colon] slapped cheek, nausea and diarrhoea, followed by a heavy cold and urinary infection[delete space before period' .During C's last absence she visted [visited] her GP, Dr RS twice. R's opinion is that C seemed very pale and run down and that her immune system has had a battering and needed to recover[delete space before period] . I followed her instructions precisely as to when C should return to school.
You don't need the last para. Less is more.

VodkaJelly · 04/02/2013 14:41

My son got one once. He was off for 3 days with D&V then off for a week with the flu, it was proper flu and he went to my parents for a week to recover as I was at work. I got the letter and just binned it.

I am pretty sure no judge will fine you for following doctors orders.

Coincidentally same son but 2 years later, was off for a week with a broken collar bone (happened at school), then it was Easter and the day before he was due back he was rushed to hospitial and operated on so was off for another 2 weeks recovering so missed 5 weeks off school including the Easter Holidays and I never heard a word from the school about his attendance

TheFallenNinja · 04/02/2013 14:45

I would reply,

"I'll take care of my child, you take care of your statistics.

Tiao

"

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 04/02/2013 14:47

Well that sounds fine but I'd reduce a bit:

^Whilst i share your concern about the amount of time C has missed school recently, my overriding concern is, for her health. During C's last absence she visted her GP, Dr RS twice. R's opinion is that C seemed very pale and run down and that her immune system has had a battering and needed to recover. I followed her instructions precisely as to when C should return to school".

Then leave out the 2nd paragraph and perhaps I might be tempted to add instead,

"C always returns to school as soon as she is well enough. She is keen not to fall behind so in future I shall check with her teacher(s) and see about collecting X or Y from a classmate whilst C is off".

Original poster
RichardIII · 04/02/2013 14:47

Abra1D
Thnkyou I have typed so many drafts I have got bog eyed when it comes to seeing punctuation.
The purpose of the last para was to pin the school down on whether they are supportive of me following the doctor's advice (incl time off school).
They do anything but but say yes and then I'll wave that at them if she is ill again.

OP posts:
seeker · 04/02/2013 14:52

It's a standard letter. Don't worry about it. The school has to send them. Nothing to do with teachers. And they will have a record of your child's illness. Forget it.

WorraLiberty · 04/02/2013 14:54

As other people have said, they really are bog standard letters.

They'll still send them regardless of whether you reply or not.

MechanicalTheatre · 04/02/2013 14:57

I wouldn't bother. They just send them out automatically.

seeker · 04/02/2013 14:57

Because there are parents who take the piss, and their children suffer real educational disadvantage. Better that some of us are mildly irritated by an unnecessary letter than the school fails to do everything possible to get the persistently absent child into school.

mnistooaddictive · 04/02/2013 15:02

It is a standard letter. The problem is that with the school phobics, their parents always start off claiming they are ill. I found it took about a year of high levels of illness before they would admit there was a problem. Once a child gas missed that much scho it has a massive effect on their academic levels but more importantly they are used to being absent a lot. Whatever caused the problem has grown to massive proportions in their head.
Absence issues are so much easier to solve if you do it quickly and the longer you leave it the worse it gets. You have to send letters to everyone as you can't know who is genuine or not. If you them include the parents who claim their child has flu when they are l

mnistooaddictive · 04/02/2013 15:03

Sorry, posted too soon.
The parents who keep their child off to look after grandad or younger brother etc.

AllYoursBabooshka · 04/02/2013 15:12

I admit to feeling a little prickled when I got one of these letters but only because DSs teacher had told me herself how shocked she was at the amount of bugs going about. She herself had to take quite a few days off due to norovirus and flu. It was just one thing after another with Ds.

We were getting these letters along with letters pleading with us to remember the 48 hour rule and keep our sick children at home.

As others say though, they are standard so take no notice as your DD was genuinely ill.

DoJo · 04/02/2013 15:16

I wouldn't bother replying - they will already have a record of why she was absent (as long as you have told her) and the letter will be automatically generated in response to the basic numbers. If they had any real concerns, you would know about it, but they cannot ignore absenteeism above a certain level and have to be seen to be doing the 'right thing' about it.

fluffyraggies · 04/02/2013 15:19

Honestly don't worry.

I've 3DCs. I've had one of these letters per child i think :) Nothing awful happens - i promise. As others have said if the attendance drops drastically you'll get a call.

The first time i got one of those letters i got in a pickle - drafting replies etc. If i got one now i would ignore. If you write a reply it will be glanced at and binned filed Wink

YorkshireDeb · 04/02/2013 17:14

As a teacher (who will happily admit I don't know everything) I'd just like to clarify that there's not a lot we can do about it either. This is likely to have been pushed on the school by the local authority who have strict attendance targets. And we know it annoys parents. And we know most children are off because they genuinely are ill. But we have to send the letters anyway. X

Hobbitation · 04/02/2013 17:18

YANBU. I'd send that to the school and CC the local authority. If no-one highlights these things then it will never change. I hate automatically generated letters.

Bearfrills · 04/02/2013 17:28

DS got one of those letters before Christmas, he's only 3yo so not even compulsory school age. I got in a bit of a snit and rang the school to say that his dip in attendance was due to following the 48hr rule on D&V, he'd had two absences for this plus an absence for a cough so bad that it was making him sick (basically coughing until he puked). I remarked that maybe if other parents followed the rules on sickness and didn't send ill children to school then maybe he wouldn't be ill so much and perhaps if they didn't send out 'naughty' letters then parents wouldn't be so reluctant to keep sick children off school.

The school explained that they are standard letters. The attendance officer from the council reviews their stats and any child with attendance below a certain level must be sent a letter.

They also told me that for all a letter is automatically sent they are aware of which children are genuinely ill and just having a little blip in their school attendance and which children have actual attendance problems. In their own words: "we know which ones we're worried about and which ones we aren't".

Log your concerns with the school to make sure they have a record of it but it probably won't make much difference to be honest.

Diamondsareagirls · 04/02/2013 18:47

As other posters have said I wouldn't bother replying as this is something the local authority make schools do. It isn't teachers trying to get on your nerves or insult your ability to look after the health of your child. Honest! I am a teacher and a parent and have had one of those. It went straight in the bin as I know they are just something our office has to churn out as to keep the LA off our backs about attendance targets!

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