To wish people would give other swimmers some privacy in the changing room

[atthewelles]

There is a very large communal changing room in the gym where I go to swim a couple of times a week. There is rarely more than about 10 people in in at any one time so loads of room for people to spread out and get changed in a bit of privacy. However someone will invariably ignore all the empty space and plonk themselves at a locker a few inches away from yours while you're trying to discreetly put your knickers on under a towel; or even more annoying will sit on the bench right beside you and start texting.
AIBU to think that if a changing room is three quarters empty it is rude and ignorant and a bit strange to sit practically on top of someone else?

YANBU but apparently there is some kind of evolutionary significance in people grouping together like this...was safer when there were wild animals about or summat.

havent they got cubicles to change in.

I don't know if it's all out strange but it is bemusing. If I'm in a changing room or getting on a bus or using a public bathroom I will try and give others space rather than plonking myself next to them, and I'd hope that they would do the same for me. If there's room, take advantage of it.

YABU! I'm living in hope of seeing the naked mental elf pan pipe playing mum!

No naked pipe players in my gym but there is a woman who struts around the shower area with no clothes on singing opera at the top of her voice

Bit like the prat who, given an otherwise utterly empty car-park, chose to park so close to my driver's door that I couldn't get in, and had to go round the other side!

Oooh, I know exactly what you mean, I hate using the ladies changing at ours (v. open, no cubicles), but sometimes have no choice as getting me plus DS changed in a single cubicle is impossible, and there are two, yes two family cubicles.

I'd just set up to get DS back into his clothes the other day and a woman waltzes over with her daughter and sets up right next to us. I wanted to scream at her to go away, but instead I took aaaaaaaages getting DS dressed so she'd be gone by the time I needed to change

Why are you struggling to discretely put your knickers on under a towel? There's nothing wrong with getting your bits out in a changing room.

Even worse is when you get the person who needs to extensively moisturise their ankles before putting their knickers on, so hoicks a leg up on the bench next to you giving a rather lovely view if you happen to look up. Why not put your knickers on first? Will they impede your moisturising abilities?

MaryPoppins it is up to individual changers to decide what they are comfortable with. If I or anyone else want to change discreetly under a towel we are entitled to do so and other people should respect our privacy.

Why do you change separately MaryPoppins? Because that's what discrete means.

^ I don't change separately if it's a communal changing room. It's communal, discrete means doing it fairly quickly and without fuss, not trying to hide away.

Yes, but its also nice to show people a bit of consideration in a communal changing area ie if there's loads of space don't crowd in on top of someone else who might want a bit of privacy.

I think DeepRed was talking about the difference between discreet and discrete.

I also think it's strange to right next to someone when there is a lot of space, it's a bit like this.

Maybe you have accidentally taken the space next to "their" locker, the one they always use?

See here, discreetly.

Why are people so embarrassed about being seen naked in a changing room in the UK - bizarre the lengths people go to to preserve their "modesty". Really, no one is going to point and stare at you, no matter how gross (or great) you look.

Ooh, I am a minge. A discreet one of course

People are allowed to have issues about their body, I'm sure they'd rather they didn't, I know I would.

TheTiger have you experienced someone doing that?! I know we don't have to look, per say, but if someone did that very close to me it would be hard not to peep and therefore feel a little embarrassed.

I am finding as I get older I don't have a problem openly changing in a communial room, but only in public ones...not in the tiny one that we have in our work gym as people who I work with will be forever stuck with the frightening mental image of my naked bod!

OP - There you are being discreet under your towel and yet you also moan that someone is texting near you. They aren't interested in your fanoir, so relax and drop the towel.

Our gym has notices up asking people not to use mobile phones in changing rooms - they (mostly) all have cameras on.

It's not up to others to decide whether you are or aren't allowed to have issues about your body. Not everyone wants to flash their naked wobbly bits around, and not everyone wants to be confronted with a stranger's naked wobbly bits.

I know just what you mean!!! I have had a double mastectomy,not my fault,,doesn't really bother me,I make a point of being discreet ,but some women think its Ok to actively STARE at me,,why? As I pointed one time,,could be you next week...Ok. Look if you need to,it's not that bad,,but please do it discreetly

MaryPoppins why do you have such a problem with people wanting a bit of privacy to get changed. We're not all comfortable walking around naked and people should be sensitive to that, not do the brisk 'oh, don't be so silly. I don't mind so why should anyone else mind' stuff.

I think it's a bit odd to plonk yourself right next to someone else in an almost empty changing room regardless of whether the person you choose to stand next to is putting their knickers on under a towel or salsa dancing in the buff.