To be a bit weirded out by this? Sorry another MIL one

[cherryonthetop2013]

So before Xmas my mil told me that she'd got my dd (now 5 months) a party dress and was saying 'oooo I'll have to show you her new party frock'....she never did.
I assumed she was going to give it as a Xmas pressie and was probably wanting dd to wear it on Xmas day.
Anyway, Xmas came and went and the dress didn't materialise.
Today DP came home with the said dress and said "'my mums given us this cos she's gonna grow out of it soon".
Now I know this is no crime of the century but its just made me feel a bit weird. Why was she keeping it? When did she ever think she was going to get the opportunity to put her in it?
I've already felt it was a little strange that dd has her own draw of stuff but its all practical stuff which at times as come in handy like vests, sleep suits, nappies etc so that's been understandable.
But I just feel like this party dress (complete with cardigan, tights & shoes) is just a step too far.
I know I'm probably over reacting and I know a lot of it is probably my protective maternal instincts but I don't like it at all.
Today, despite being told that she'd only had her nappy changed just before we set off (so about 30 mins ago) she insisted she changed it "oh no she likes having her bum changed".
It just feels like she wants my baby or something and doesn't seem to respect the fact that I'm her mother.

[Homebird8]

Why change nappies to spend time with a baby. Why not sing to her, or play with her. Even tinies like faces being pulled and smiling games. Perhaps you could suggest this to MIL? She might like to sing to her DGD. Something like, "Oh, I've just done her nappy, but if you'd like to entertain her she loves someone to play peekaboo..."

[maddening]

I got my niece some lovely dresses - I must be a loony aunty!

[Nanny0gg]

Booking holidays without checking?

Weird.

[MyNameIsAlexDrake]

YABU

My Dad loves changing my DS nappy, seriously we cannot get a look in when the deed needs to be done. My Dad isn't weird, he loves changing his grandson's nappy because it's something he can do for him, while engaging with him, making him laugh etc

My parents have a drawer full of vests and clothes at their house (and a mountain of toys!) lots of the clothes have had to be donated to charity as DS grew out of them before he could wear them (not a sicky baby and I always have a change of clothes in his bag). I'm sure my Mum and Dad just love having a some clothes for their GS, at their home, to remind them that they are grandparents. They probably pick the items up now and again with a gaga look on their faces - I think its sweet.

I'm also a great believer that my DS doesn't just belong to me. He is part of a family. A family who love him very much - foibles and all.

[DeWe]

Changing the nappy when it doesn't need changing is definitely weird.
I suspect it may well be so she can take baby off to be on their own. You could do the suggestion of going with them, or perhaps checking "You think she needs her nappy changing? I'll go and see."

I get the having a special dress in a way. She probably wanted to save it for a special occasion that she would see-maybe if you'd been going to a wedding with them she would have given it then. Although if they smell of smoke I wouldn't particularly want my dc in clothes that smell like that.

[LexiLoganberryBump]

My MIL is a bit like this, she buys dd clothes because she loves shopping which is fine but then they don't come home, likes to keep a couple of best dresses there so we never see her in them, goodness know what she thinks I'll do with them but they are kept away from our house.

DD does go to stay for a few days during holidays, not because we need them to have her but because we don't live nearby and I know they miss her and love spending time with her. MIL has told me and dd seperatly that I shouldn't have any more children because dd is so special, I didn't say anything cause I was rather shocked by that comment and just stood there with a wtf expression on my face. MIL openly admitts that dd is her favourite gc which I think is a terrible thing to say. She also was very open about the fact that 2 of her 4 children were her favourites, the other 2 now have nothing to do with the family, I have to admit I don't know all of the in an outs of what went on but it must be pretty horrible being awear that your own mother prefers your siblings to you.

I ignore alot of what gets said. Both MIL/FIL say alot of things that I disagree with but i ignore things rather than getting into an argument, got to pick your battles. Even DH says he switches off to some degree when on the phone to them and he is close to his parents.

I think my biggest pet hate is when they give me the "we've brought up 4 children you know, we do know what to do" and yes they have but alot has changed in 40-50 years since they did it and my parenting style is different, guildlines have changed from when I had dd to now 8 years (I'm expecting again) also get this line when trying to explain dd medication needs with them and that she can't use soaps, have bubble baths or use fabric softener in her washing, all of which gets ignored, MIL washes all of her clothes when she goes there that I've packed and everything is packed washed but it all comes back with fabric softener so I have to wash it all again. DH has said something many times but it goes in one ear and out the other it seems. It really irritates me but I have a moan to DH then fume to myself for a day until the cycle starts again.

I understand how your feeling but honestly our MIL's are nothing compared to some of the threads I've read on here.

Sorry seem to of gone on a bit.

[gotthemoononastick]

Crazy Gran here...going to Australia soon to see grandchild.Buying excessively,trying to stick to organic cotton and all the Mumsnet rules I learnt here.Must say I get very confused re. sizes for infants too,so maybe she bought it too small for Valentines day.Hastily checks size on over the top red rose embroidered party dress for a newborn!!!

[Jayne266]

Sounds like my DM! The nappy thing has sorted it's self out my DS cries when she tries to change him when he doesn't want it doing. The clothes thing is a bit odd but I gave my mum clothes and supplies so I could use them when visiting.

[LucilleBluth]

Poor MIL. Years ago nappies needed changing more frequently, even 12 years ago when I had my first baby. < really hopes sons are gay, must order show tunes CDs ASAP >

[KobayashiMaru]

She's just trying to be a grandmother and enjoy the baby too. It might be your abby but it also has other relatives that care too. Enjoy the fact that your child is lucky enough to have caring grandparents.