My sister and I have never been particularly close, she is 11 years older than me and moved away from home when I was 6 so I don't really have a 'sisterly' relationship with her but we have kept in contact and I would visit her at least once a year. We are not really that similar in any way (political/ethical views, music/entertainment tastes, fashion style etc) but we were both in the same job and usually when we meet we both just talk shop. Fast forward to today, neither of us are in the business any more (she started a family and I changed careers) so we really don't have anything in common any more. Its not like we don't get on, its more of a case that we are just different people.
Since she moved away when I was young we've always lived at least 100+ miles apart and I've always been the one to make the effort (and expense) to travel to visit her and the last time she came to see me was 14 years ago when I was in hospital. I've offered her to visit many times but she just never gets round to making arrangements. I've travelled to her every year for the past 15 years until the last time which was 18 months ago.
In comes the annual phone call last week and she wants me to jump on the train to see her on my birthday at the end of the month. Never mind the fact that I don't have the finances for the pricey train fare, I don't particularly fancy spending my birthday with her and her family. I would like to spend my birthday doing something I enjoy with my partner and friends. She says she's furious with me for having arrangements made for my birthday and I won't change them to visit her instead and it is "imperative for her children to see their aunt more often" but yet it doesn't seem to matter that she forgot to tell me she was getting married last month until 2 weeks after the wedding, never mind even getting an invite.
Am I being unreasonable to not want to visit her on my birthday because she makes no effort in travelling to see me? even when I've said I could visit at another time in the year?