My NCT class is having a meet up for the first time in about six months. Last one was at mine - I cleaned the house for ages before, laid on a bit of a picnic spread (nothing special, but I did make an effort), and was really looking forward to it. Only two couples turned up, talked to each other not me and then suggested we went for a walk in the park after half an hour. It was muddy and horrible, DD had a total meltdown and everyone left after twenty minutes of her screaming and me trying to jolly her along. I went home and cried.
Their kids are the same age as DS, who was my second, and I've always felt a bit judged by them over her behaviour (mostly toddler stuff, but she is speech delayed and possibly ASD, but basically just a slightly stroppy three year old who doesn't talk much). One of them even asked if I thought she was autistic. We do not know each other well enough for this to be a question I'm prepared to discuss with them.
Anyway, it's at someone else's house this time, with the same two couples and one other and I just don't want to go. I feel bad for the other person, because it's their house and they've always been lovely, but I'm just so tense that DD will be stroppy, and she's not properly potty trained yet, which I'm sure they'll have an opinion on, and I know I'd just have a much nicer day if we all stayed at home. Don't even know why I bother keeping in touch, they just make me feel bad about myself.
Lordy, I sound pathetic.