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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

..to think that asking via Facebook that people buy presents from their baby gift list is greedy and ungracious?

13 replies

Quilty · 02/02/2013 12:32

Status put on Facebook by an acquaintance (through family) asking that as they have a lot of baby things already, if anyone would like to get them a present when their (first) baby arrives then they have left a gift lift at a certain shop! I have asked a few friends what they think of this and everyone said its sounds greedy and have never heard of anyone doing that before.

I can see the logic in it but I just think it seems so rude and ungrateful! They obviously wouldn't be grateful if they receive anything they don't want/like!

I am expecting a baby too and I'm sure most people will probably ask us if there's anything in particular we need but I'd be grateful for any gift as the thought is far more important to me.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 02/02/2013 12:37

I think it's ridiculous.

Yes it's terribly practical and means they won't end up with lots of the same thing, but I'd rather that than look so 'calculated' about other people's generosity.

I saw a FB status from new parents a few months ago that said something like,

"Introducing baby Nathan (blurb about weight and mother doing well) we're looking forward to you all contributing to his college fund www.paypaladdress" Hmm

ChristmasJubilee · 02/02/2013 12:37

It's a difficult one. We had far more baby stuff than we could ever use and I swapped a lot of stuff for bigger sizes but some clothes were given away unworn. I always give vouchers now.

WorriedMummy73 · 02/02/2013 12:37

YANBU. This is just greedy and grasping. I hate stuff like this. Personally I don't agree with wedding lists either. I've got three kids and didn't expect anything from anyone - anything given was gratefully received and duplicates can always be exchanged. They probably (hopefully) don't realise how this comes across. But then again, maybe they don't care. Facebook has a lot to answer for now - people think they can post offensive stuff and it doesn't matter as it's 'only Facebook'.

louwn · 02/02/2013 12:39

Oh my god Worra, did people actually contribute?!

ILoveFrogs · 02/02/2013 12:42

You see this sort of thing doesn't bother me, same with wedding lists, I'd rather buy something the person wanted rather than what I think they want, and it saves me traipsing around the shops for hours trying to find something suitable as I'm one of these people that it so indecisive, I much prefer a list!

ILoveFrogs · 02/02/2013 12:45

Haha Worra, that is in bad taste, even by my standards. I'd give cash to contribute towards a honeymoon but never for a new baby.

ohfunnyhoneyface · 02/02/2013 12:49

I had a friend who did this. An old work colleague.

I thought it was ridiculous and grabby.

Anyone who cares will either know you well enough what you want, or be able to ask you, and if you get doubles- so what??

Original poster
Quilty · 02/02/2013 12:50

Oh my god Worra, that's even worse! Seriously feel like I live on a different planet to those sort of people!

OP posts:
RooneyMara · 02/02/2013 12:58

It is horrid but I hate organised/asked for gift giving, for weddings too.

I just had a baby and asked for nothing from anyone - tbh I have more than enough stuff already from the other two.

But various people in the playground came up to me and handed me little presents of clothes and so on for him which was so so lovely, as he is my third so much less fussed about than the first or even second.

Even if I didn't like everything, it was massively appreciated. I'd never dream of requesting things.
That spoils the whole point imo...it should be spontaneous and because people want to do it. I often sendsomething if someone I know has had a baby or gets married. But I wouldn't want to choose it off some chavvy list.

RooneyMara · 02/02/2013 12:59

oh and yes if you have two of something, or it isn't to your taste you can either discreetly try and exchange it, or you can give it to charity.

Pandemoniaa · 02/02/2013 13:00

YANBU. It comes across as very grabby. There's no absolute right to get a present for having a baby and while it'd be reasonable to tell people, privately, that actually, you have all the baby clothes you needed, you don't post this sort of demand for alternative gifts on Facebook.

HappyMummyOfOne · 02/02/2013 15:04

YANBU, how rude and grabby. I would have pressed the defriend button. Cant abide baby showers either, grasping vile events.

nicelyneurotic · 02/02/2013 15:18

It is grabby and rude, and I dislike baby showers in general, but I can see why some people do it.

I received about 15 baby blankets for my little one, and I wasn't expecting anything so had already bought a couple. Feel sad that I won't get to use them all. Same with the newborn size clothes, some unworn as she was out of them by 3 weeks.

A list with specific items from a specific shop is taking it too far.

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