To ask if you have changed since you became a parent?

[Geekster]

My DD is eleventh months old now, and I've noticed a changes in myself since I became a Mum. I used to be quite a soft touch and let people walk all over me, now I find I am much more assertive and stick up for myself more. For example we have a service contract with British gas and our boiler packed up in the cold weather before Christmas. They weren't going to come out until late the next day but I told them it wasn't good enough. Normally I would have just said yes fine, but my DD was ill, they did come the same day in the end. I also tend just to get on with things a lot more without worrying or stressing as much, I'm actually a bit more laid back which has surprised me. We moved house to a totally new area just last week and I've already been out looking round to find groups for us and how to get to places I've grown up a lot (and that from a forth year old), and realised I just have to get on with things and not worry about what is out of my control. Though I do worry about DD sometimes, especially if she is unwell.

I do think having kids brings out a fierce sort of side (like with the boiler issue...it's different when you're responsible for a little one). It also I'm also prone to being anxious but found myself being way more laid back too...partly cus it's such a big change at first and your priorities change so much that the little stuff isn't worth worrying about (plus you need the energy for other things)! It's natural to worry about them a little anyway, part of the deal :P
Don't know about others but one of my favourite things about parenthood, beside my DS (obviously) is how much it's made me grow up, appreciate what I've got and be able to just get on with it, with my cheeky DS in tow :)
Like they say, if you can do this, you can do anything, right?

I'm def more assertive, more feminist. but a same time less judgey and laid back about many things.

I remember thinking how much more of an effective employee I'd be since becoming a parent - more assertive, decisive, confident. Ironic that circumstances were such I couldn't keep working after DC1.
Stuff I used to fret over seemed small fry compared to caring for a whole new human bean. Mind you when I got my sleep back I did turn into my old laid back self again. I think the fierceness is a kind of self preservation cos in my case i was so exhausted a lot of the time.

I would say exactly the same as mouseymouse, I'm also more determined and definitely more empathetic. I think it's brought out some quite good traits in me really, although I have less patience with certain people too, which isn't so good!

Probably more laid back over a lot of things - but also, couldn't give a shit what anyone else thinks of me so inclined to call a spade a spade.

(Could just be age in my case )

I am way more assertive and confident

I love the way that having children has changed me for the better

Being pregnant changed me massively, made me a much, much more chilled out person. I was quite anxious before hand, I really dont get it (can anyone enlighten??)

Though I'm still chilled now DD is is almost 4 months old and I'm so much more empathetic with other parents and feel tragedies and sadnesses much more deeply and get very upset by things that I didn't used to.

I used to love horror films and thrillers, now am such a sensitive soul so can't bear it! I also worry endlessly about the world and about my DD growing up in it. I miss being a chilled pregnant person!

I'm much, much less selfish and self absorbed, which is a very good thing.

I can't believe what I used to be like

But I'm not sure how much is just growing up and getting older, some possibly, but I'd have probably gone on in much the same way if I hadn't had children.

It's also softened me if the truth be known, I was very aggressive and prickly, I'm still a prickly but it's like a switch has been turned off with the aggression, very odd.

My family think I've mellowed - in that I'm not such a bitch - but I also feel that I'm more assertive and confident with things relating to my dd. For example, going along to groups by myself which normally I would not do, for her sake (so I think, not sure at 4 months she is really that fussed for the activities!)

Spice I am also more sensitive in that I now worry a lot about my dd's health and happiness as she makes her way in the world, but less anxious about things that used to bother me i.e. driving at night, walking along deserted streets (I now feel more secure in that I know I'd do anything to protect dd!!)

Yes.

I am at the same time more frightened and braver.

Yabu,

Course I have, if I had been wearing the same outfit for over 20 years they would be filthy and falling apart

at pixie.

I have washed them, but my clothes might as well be over 20 years old I've had them so long

I find I am more honest. I tell people what I think instead of being a people pleaser. I think I have a bit more perspective on the "big picture" than I did before.
I definitely appreciate what a struggle my parents went through in raising me and I realise now that raising kids is pretty much thankless. And that's okay.
I also have found true happiness in small things. I stopped waiting for my life to look like what I thought it should and enjoy what it is. Which is what I would have termed pre-children as "boring".
I like boring. Boring is good.

I am more socially aware of things going on around me. For example I get involved in school things and things to do with my town( which is a bit of a shithole, granted, but it's my shithole)

In general I'm nicer to people I think. Everyone is in the same boat, struggling to get on in life while trying to balance everything and deal with whatever baggage they may have from the past and I think I am more tolerant of that now.

I don't know if this is wholly due to having children of if I have just grown up in the past 6 years.

My family blame me having kids, DH blames you lot

Wish it made me more laid back -sigh-

I am much more anxious, worried and serious actually. I've never been a particularly bubbly person but now I have noticed I do take life a lot more seriously. I worry about stupid things I wouldn't have given a second thought before. I'm also a lot more judgemental than I used to be.. And have pretty much lost my carefree side

My relationship with my DH changed a lot too. Its now sort of a Hyacinth and Richard Bucket relationship And I can't just leave the cleaning for later anymore either it has to be done there and then. I'm pretty uptight and annoying actually. I've always had an element of that but I used to be far more laid back.

I don't have the ability to tell people what I think either tbh. My nan says that came to her with age though so I'm expecting when I reach 50ish i'll become more like that. Now i'm far too shy, always have been.

I think I'm almost exactly the same. I suppose I'm slightly less selfish in that I do lots of things solely for the pleasure of my children, but otherwise don't see a big difference. Maybe even more conservative over things like computer games and drugs that I don't want to touch my children.

Clarabumps all very well said and resonated with me.

Motherhood definitely changed me in more ways that I could have ever imagined. I am much less of a baby, less selfish, (a bit) more assertive - you have to be, especially at my baby weigh in clinic!

loofet as a parent it's so hard to be care free isn't it? I wistfully look back on the old quite selfish me and sometimes hanker after silly things but I wouldn't change it for the world.

I realised how much my parents love me.

I almost don't recognise the person I was before but think I've mainly changed in good ways. Before having my ds I guess I was more materialistic. I liked having a car that looked good & said there was no way I'd ever have a people carrier. Since having him we've bought a zafira - and it suits my new life very well & I actually like it. I am also a lot more scared & have irrational fears all the time. X