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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think bringing an 18 month old to an evening baby shower

59 replies

FutTheShuckUp · 01/02/2013 21:46

Is not on and also smacks of not wanting anyone to get more attention than your little darling?
This person wants to bring her child to every event going no matter how unsuitable and it just smacks of attention seeking. AIBU

OP posts:

Dominodonkey · 01/02/2013 23:54

YANBU - I have only been to two but the whole atmosphere was about spoiling the mum to be and having lots of girlie games. It wouldn't occur to me that any children would be there.

Nanny0gg · 02/02/2013 00:01

Surely if babies and toddlers were wanted there, it would be an afternoon shower?

An 18th month old will become crabby and not much fun when overtired and should be at home in bed.

Why do people need to drag their children everywhere with them?

ApocalypseThen · 02/02/2013 07:22

Indeed. You don't need children at an evening party, drinks night in a casino...

I have observed the possibly totally untrue tendency for the everywhere kids to be on the worse end of the scale of behaviour.

AreYouADurtBirdOrALadyBird · 02/02/2013 07:42

Maybe the baby is going instead of the mother. Baby showers are,in my opinion,a bit shit. I've been to a few and now when I get invited to one,I'm magically busy.

AreYouADurtBirdOrALadyBird · 02/02/2013 07:47

Although there's a sick side of me that thinks its funny to bring a toddler (and thus toddler tantrums and finickiness) to a baby shower when mum to be is probably concentrating on a cute sleepy newborn.

Smudging · 02/02/2013 08:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alligatorpie · 02/02/2013 09:13

I have been to loads of baby showers ( am Canadian) and it would be very strange to exclude children. They are hardly a chance for piss up!
It sounds like you dont like the mom and you would have a problem with her bringing her child anywhere.

TheFallenNinja · 02/02/2013 09:20

I thought that a baby shower was a piss up (the ones I've heard about were) and certainly no place for a child.

I certainly wouldn't take DD to one, or any other non child event. DP went to one recently and had a grand time, I stayed home and did the bedtime routine and had a grand time, mega important for DP to get out and clock off being a mum from time to time.

13Iggis · 02/02/2013 09:29

They are being unreasonable in having a baby shower.
You are not being very nice.
Friend is a bit U for bringing child but we have no idea what her reasons were.

13Iggis · 02/02/2013 09:32

I remember the baby shower scene in Sex and the City. Didn't Miranda drop someone's toddler? (It was her shower). Always thought that's what I'd be like if pg.

mrsbunnylove · 02/02/2013 09:40

a mother and baby are a single unit. at eighteen months i would expect a baby to be breastfed and not to be separated from his or her mother. if you invite the mother, expect the baby to come along, too.

birdofthenorth · 02/02/2013 09:41

I have on several occasions had to take DD (now 2.5) to evening stuff because DH works away and there are a limited number of people I can ask to babysit.

MrsDeVere · 02/02/2013 09:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nanny0gg · 02/02/2013 09:44

birdofthenorth
That's fine if the hosts are happy with that arrangement. The alternative, obviously, is to decline and miss out on some things, if they're not.
It's the assumption that it's okay that I don't get.

Original poster

FutTheShuckUp · 02/02/2013 09:45

Sorry back to answer some of your queries- to the poster who asked me if I have kids yes I do. But im happy to attend evening/adult events without them. If I have no childcare I dont go. I think my kids are the cutest wittiest and best things since sliced bread but also acknowledge they are not to everyone else under the sun.
The baby shower was an evening gathering at a pub. The 'baby' isnt and never has been breastfed and the mother has no qualms leaving him with grandparents for her husband and her to go away on weekends together.
I dont dislike this woman but it irritates me she feels her child is the centre of the universe and ought to attend every event as people will be so thrilled to see him regardless of the suitability of the event and venue.

OP posts:

MoppingMummy · 02/02/2013 09:45

I wouldn't take an 18 month old to an evening baby shower. Yanbu.

EuroShagmore · 02/02/2013 09:46

I've been to one baby shower and it was a child friendly environment (although as we did it after work for someone who was going on mat leave, no one had their kids with them). I thought children at a baby shower was normal?

I don't like the idea of baby showers but surely they should be child-friendly occasions. What next, child-free christenings?

MammaTJ · 02/02/2013 09:46

Is she a single parent? In which case it might be take the baby or not go.

SminkoPinko · 02/02/2013 09:49

lol@ "it all sounds like an utterly revolting evening all round", Holly!

Totally agree.

taketheribbon · 02/02/2013 09:49

What EuroShagmore said.

YABU.

FeckOffCup · 02/02/2013 09:54

a mother and baby are a single unit. at eighteen months i would expect a baby to be breastfed and not to be separated from his or her mother.

At 18 months, really? At 18 weeks I could see it but I think I would have gone insane after 18 months of being a "single unit" with my child and no baby free time at all. An 18 month old is unlikely to be exclusively breast fed, I can't see an issue with leaving them with someone else for a few hours.

WhichIsBest · 02/02/2013 09:56

You obviously just plain don't like the woman.

katiecubs · 02/02/2013 10:09

bunnylove you would 'expect' a baby to be breasted at 18 months?! Why?! What a horribly patronising and judgemental thing to say.

Even if they still are, and this would be the minority, surely they would be able to go a few hours without a feed FFS.

Dominodonkey · 02/02/2013 11:08

Those who are talking about new borns. I thought baby showers were always before the birth.
They are unnecessary - we only has one for my friend because her mum had died that year and we wanted to show our support.

bunny love I can never work out whether you are serious or not.

Nanny0gg · 02/02/2013 11:44

You know, Baby showers are optional, you neither have to have one or go to one.
But they can be great fun. It can be an 'excuse' for a group of friends and family to get together and they can be as big or as small as you like.

Just please, for these and any other events, think of the time and place, and don't automatically think that every 'do' has to be attended by your precious infant.

Sometimes, you just have to miss out.

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