to look for reassurance from other mums that I am not raising a tear away

[Adamit]

so PFB and trivial, but please tell me it is a phase. Ds turning 4 soon and starting primary school in september has been attending a creche/montessori for couple years now. for the last few weeks they can get no good of him. wont practice his writing, no attention or focus and now behaviour is switching to being cheeky, physcially lashing out at other kids and lying.

please tell me its a phase .. he really is good at home. will clean up when told has recently been sleeping on his own in own room (co slept for years) and is very proud of himself and doesnt kick up a fuss at bed time.

i just want to know its normal. please. have not slept last few nights thinking about it. stupid i know.

Oh love. He's ready for primary school is all. Every single kid in our nursery went through exactly the same thing. Combination of being top of the pile, knowing it all, flexing muscles and pushing boundaries.

And FWIW I saw the HT today (my DS is 7) and she said it had been a nightmare week for behaviour right across the board.

Make sure he's getting enough exercise (I know mine isn't because it's been too cold and wet for the park). Try and find some activities to stretch him. And don't worry. It's most definitely a phase.

thank you thank you thank you! i hate seeing him like that when i know he can be better. not saying he is an angel but dont like the "dont give a shit" attitude and being cheeky. good point on the exercise, weather has been terrible. will def make a point of getting him out tomorrow.

The cheekiness keeps coming and going and is really normal.
Don't stress about the writing DD could only write her name before she went to school nothing else, colouring is really good practice anyway.
DD really hated this time at pre-school as she felt she was too old for it so she was really quite challenging in a 'but why' way.

Definitely up the exercise and don't worry about the writing - they shouldn't be made to sit and write at that age anyway - let them be little and decide (within reason) what they want to spend their time on - enough time for sitting and writing over the next 17 years or so.

At 4 you should be able to get him plenty of exercise in the house when the weather is bad - dancing about, jumping on the beds/sofa's, wrestling and rolling about the floor with you - try getting two extremely large pre-teens exercise in a normal house when you are stuck in with the snow - believe me, one little 4 year old is a doddle :o

..mine loved being dangled upside down and generally thrown about.......didn't have any bingo wings in those days! Another favourite was to trap them in a wresting hold and challenge them to get free - because we had two, we had a contest to see which one of them could get free and switch the light first.

oh we do the messing and wrestling which i think makes him a bit rough then at times with other kids. he is a real boy and encourage that in a way. i guess i should do more with him in the evenings. he gets notions ... starts a jigsaw or colouring or some magazine work sheet and then is gone after 5 mins. creche says he doesnt have enough focus. and with this free preschool year (here in ireland) i think most primary schools expect some level to be mastered when they begin such as writing his name (he cant and its only 4 letters). working full time makes me feel guilty.

tbh i would rather he acted up at home then in school as at least i'd see it first hand. have no reason to doubt or question the creche they are brilliant. i do wonder if he gets frustrated and gives up or its the opposite and he is bored (but hasnt shown me he knows it to be bored).

i make sure he has play dates at weekends or at least meeting cousins and i never see any of this behaviour other than the odd time. would love to witness it as he appears to be two different kids!!

amck i hang him over me shoulders down me back and swing around saying "oh no daddy ive lost him" and he loves that! he jumps on couches, gets kicked out and off to park getting dirty but having fun. i was wondering if he is missing the closeness of co sleeping but i sure as hell aint going back to that and he still have half hour down time with me in my room watchin telly/reading a book/ messing and chatting. i dunno .....

*kitted out NOT kicked out

I'm in Scotland and we didn't make any effort at all in terms of writing or reading before school - they were however read to from babies and when they started school were at the top of the class very quickly and by age 10 had reading ages of 14. Youngest in particular has an enormous vocabularly. Eldest used to get a bit "pokey" at nursery, just looking for attention (although other issues later on did mean he was considered to be boderline for aspergers) Neither of them had any issues with concentration though - maybe your son just hasn't found anything he is interesting in enough yet? Does he like lego maybe? I'd just make sure that they clamp down on any aggresive behaviour but let the rest go a bit. He knows how to behave so it's not like he is completely off the rails!

He is maybe just ready for the next step in his life and is a bit frustrated.

it just sounds to me that he isn't ready to learn letters/read yet and should be free playing still. Can you send him part time? You are entitled till the term after his 5th birthday not to send him at all.

they are really controlled in our reception. having to sit down for long stretches of time and do specific set tasks. my girls loved it but my boys struggled initially as they wanted to play freely